david_dawei Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 My step-daughter has attended her first week of english classes and I have reviewed her work each night. Tonight covered families. The final section asked her to write a few sentences about someone in the family; she choose her grandmother. When writing if her grandmother was 'married' or 'single', she wrote 'married'. I corrected her and said that she is not legally married only culturally married. She is in a 'Life Partner' relationship and everyone in the family accepts it as a 'marriage' but there is no marriage paper or book... ergo, she is 'single'. Do I need to explain the shock which set into her... it pales in comparison to the angst-vented-diatribe of my wife who proclaimed, "you've just ruined her chinese thinking about relationships"... How did I not see this coming B) Link to comment
Kyle Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 That is a humorous story. Now go to her bedroom and make sure there are no lasting scars! Also you might want to watch your back for a day or two until the missus feels all is right with the world. Of course "the world" can be more correctly translated as "her world" Thanks for sharing. Link to comment
michaln Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 probably told there's no Santa Claus too Link to comment
david_dawei Posted January 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 probably told there's no Santa Claus tooThat's a good point... the stupidity of that holiday is beyond my comprehension. Let's lie to all our children, etc... Link to comment
chilton747 Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 You Stoopid da Man!! Link to comment
knloregon Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Can certainly see the pit falls for you David, since Grandma may have predated the book form of marriage in China---at least if more than one woman was involved. Was she an only wife? Or one of several? ---and if so, how does the family explain that? But as for Santa---HE LIVES! St. Nicholas was a real guy, and yes, he most certainly did give gifts (much of his inherited fortune) to people in a needy way. Link to comment
warpedbored Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Marriage didn't start out as a legal institution. If she is culturally married I'm sure that's good enough for her and her family. I don't see any point in trying to change that view from your step daughter. It just confuses her and does no one any good. Link to comment
chilton747 Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Marriage didn't start out as a legal institution. If she is culturally married I'm sure that's good enough for her and her family. I don't see any point in trying to change that view from your step daughter. It just confuses her and does no one any good. Not at this point in the game anyway. Link to comment
Doug Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 My step-daughter has attended her first week of english classes and I have reviewed her work each night. Tonight covered families. The final section asked her to write a few sentences about someone in the family; she choose her grandmother. When writing if her grandmother was 'married' or 'single', she wrote 'married'. I corrected her and said that she is not legally married only culturally married. She is in a 'Life Partner' relationship and everyone in the family accepts it as a 'marriage' but there is no marriage paper or book... ergo, she is 'single'. Do I need to explain the shock which set into her... it pales in comparison to the angst-vented-diatribe of my wife who proclaimed, "you've just ruined her chinese thinking about relationships"... How did I not see this coming B)I'm not a drinking man but David, dang man... Of all people who explained so many cultural things over the years......... you surprise me. But being the dumbasses that us men are..........a toast to you. Link to comment
Beachey Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 How old is your step-daughter? High School age or above and she likely should be told the truth. Younger than that and maybe it would be better to leave it as her grandmother is 'married'. What is a little unusual about this situation is 'Little White Lies' like this are much more common in the US. Most Chinese tend to be bluntly honest. Link to comment
david_dawei Posted January 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Here is how it went down... I was quickly skimming her homework answers, usually about 5 pages a night. When I quickly read the passage about 'my grandma is married', I knee-jerked a "she is not really married... "... I was simply knee-jerking a literal truth for english writing. and hell froze over within minutes Here's the situation: grandma is a widow... There is an 'uncle' close to the family which they have known for most of their lives... and he is about the same age... grandma and uncle decided about 4 months ago to 'live together'... and then after that the family had a dinner gathering which 'seals the relationship'; 'married' as far as the family is concerned. The step-daughter is 18. She laughed quite a bit about the ruckus her homework caused. --- sorry... I didn't mean to slam Santa per se... just the idea that we tell our kids that he travels the world in one day to deliver gifts and left them there under the tree... Yes, he was a real guy And grandma is married Link to comment
david_dawei Posted January 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) Most Chinese tend to be bluntly honest.This is the 'gods honest truth' for them... my wife made it clear that what her cousin was doing (living with a boy) was NOT recognized by the family as anything like a marriage, etc... I received a blunt lecture about which I already knew but I took my lashes with tail between my legs. Edited January 12, 2012 by david_dawei (see edit history) Link to comment
chilton747 Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Here is how it went down... I was quickly skimming her homework answers, usually about 5 pages a night. When I quickly read the passage about 'my grandma is married', I knee-jerked a "she is not really married... "... I was simply knee-jerking a literal truth for english writing. and hell froze over within minutes David you should have learned by now when to keep your opinions and literal truths to yerself. Lawd knows I sure have learned. Next thing you know your wife will be telling you is you don't know squat about China. Link to comment
david_dawei Posted January 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 David you should have learned by now when to keep your opinions and literal truths to yerself. Lawd knows I sure have learned. Next thing you know your wife will be telling you is you don't know squat about China. She already tells me I know nothing about the US Link to comment
Mick Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Here is how it went down... I was quickly skimming her homework answers, usually about 5 pages a night. When I quickly read the passage about 'my grandma is married', I knee-jerked a "she is not really married... "... I was simply knee-jerking a literal truth for english writing. and hell froze over within minutes Here's the situation: grandma is a widow... There is an 'uncle' close to the family which they have known for most of their lives... and he is about the same age... grandma and uncle decided about 4 months ago to 'live together'... and then after that the family had a dinner gathering which 'seals the relationship'; 'married' as far as the family is concerned. The step-daughter is 18. She laughed quite a bit about the ruckus her homework caused. --- sorry... I didn't mean to slam Santa per se... just the idea that we tell our kids that he travels the world in one day to deliver gifts and left them there under the tree... Yes, he was a real guy And grandma is married David: Don't be so sure about the mythical Santa, either.According to the quantum physicists, old Saint Nick may have been way ahead of his time. He makes all those deliveries in one night by bending space and time, and traveling about using wormholes. Who woulda thunk it? A Star Trek Santa. I betcha Spock knew about this all along. Link to comment
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