Planning to marry in China

[larrye1213]

Hello guys, My name is Larry(age 46) and this is my first post.

 

I would like to start off with a little bit of background. I first met my fiance(age 45) on the internet in June 08. I traveled to Fushun City, China to meet her and her family in person in Sept. 08. I proposed to her in front of her Whole family ( which I have lots of pictures and video of) and I stayed for about ten days.

 

I filed for a I-129F in Oct. 08 and she had her interview in June 09. She was denied her visa because we did not prove " a Bonnafide Relationship"

 

I was planning a second trip in Sept. 09 but my company that I work for had to lay off several employees ( I am the General Manager so I was able to keep my job Thank Goodness) But being that we are a small company and had just laid off some of our workforce I was unable to take time for a second trip back to China.

 

I am able now to take that next trip and I plan to Marry my fiance.

 

My questions are:

 

#1 Will this lapse in time hurt us?

 

#2 She has been taking English Classes but her English is still a little hard to understand so will this be a factor?

 

#3 I have a Bankruptcy on my credit (but I still own my on home) will this be a factor with the visa and do they even check your credit.

 

#4 I plan to go back for support when she has her interview but what if for some reason that I can't, will this too be a factor?

 

I know that I may be putting the cart before the horse with some of these questions but any advise that you guys can give me would be very helpful. But I would like for all of you to know that my fiance and I have had a very loving relationship for over two years now with daily communication either through email or telephone and I have saved copies of EVERYTHING. I just want to make sure that we do it right.

 

Thank you, Larry

Edited October 7, 2010 by dnoblett
Large block of text formatted for easier reading. (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

I am the crystal ball reader of CFL... Here's the deal: you don't have to pay me any for my outrageous thoughts to your desperate questions.

 

First; you said denied but didn't specify if that was a blue slip for more info or white slip for return to US; I assume the latter.

 

Most important:

1. what were the Q&A at the interview and her assessment?

2. How many trips in total to china did you make?

3. Your age; her age?

4. Any past marriage or children by either side?

 

I have many guesses to these and already feel the reason for denial but some direct answers will help.

 

Here are answers to your questions:

1. "Time" usually helps build a case. Your lapse is not as important as your intention to marry and your action to do that. But you MUST visit her more than once a year.

2. This is an on-again, off-again issue; guess what? On-again now. It plays a role. But showing time and commitment can overcome that. My gut says she'll not acquire the english to satisfy them in any case, so why stress her with a year of english for nothing. If you visit her a few times, that means more than all the A-B-Cs one can sing.

3. They only care your income. They will ask for proof of that through tax returns. If that looks good enough, don't worry. If not, then get a joint sponsor. A later detail for the most part.

4. For the third time I am saying; the number of visits you make often is the biggest issue. You either visit her or you don't. hate to think it boils down to that but guess what: the consulate sees maybe 100 a day or 2.000 a month or 24,000 a year. Ask yourself: What distinguishes your relationship from the other 24,000 ?

[david_dawei]

oh crap... I forget to mention... and have not even posted a word of this yet.

 

I am back in china and actually in Fushun as I type. If you really want a direct assessment of her side of the issues, I can meet her. I can explain to her what is going on at this point and what to expect going forward, etc.

 

Should you choose to accept this mission, there are only two days left and then the offer self-destructs.

 

If she is open to this, that is a good sign; if she does not seem to be open to this, then maybe my mission is already done.

[chilton747]

oh crap... I forget to mention... and have not even posted a word of this yet.

 

I am back in china and actually in Fushun as I type. If you really want a direct assessment of her side of the issues, I can meet her. I can explain to her what is going on at this point and what to expect going forward, etc.

 

Should you choose to accept this mission, there are only two days left and then the offer self-destructs.

 

If she is open to this, that is a good sign; if she does not seem to be open to this, then maybe my mission is already done.

 

 

Sounds like too good of a deal to pass up Larry. I would go for it if I were you.

[david_dawei]

we talked to larry's fiancee. It seems another one of those GUZ interviews where the VO refused to (or could not) speak chinese. She said that the other windows were talking in chinese. So she never (to this day) understood what the VO said or was asking for concerning the last question.

 

apparently the questions went as:

1. who filed for you?

2. how did you meet?

3. how many visits... which produced a look by the VO

4. ??

 

Seems she was warned ahead of time: if you get window 29, you have some trouble... that was her window.

 

 

 

edited to clarify original post

Edited October 9, 2010 by david_dawei (see edit history)

[nitefly]

I am reading your posts here.

 

I am a newcomer and I have a set of circumstances that have had me thinking seriously of giving up the ghost and moving to China permanently which in my case would eventually be equivalent to russian roulette because I am a cardiac patient at age 57 (from age 51) I am disabled because of that and another thing.

 

I have a joint sponsor who through an act of God came forth to assist us.

 

I went to China more than eight months ago after a four year courtship and friendship which was a really beautiful thing. After I got there it was even better. We were married in early February and got all our I130 filed in May.

 

I am facing a pacemaker replacement in possibly February, they can't give me an exact date because of the unpredictable battery life curve.

 

I came home the first week of August after getting a message that my mother has stage four lung cancer so naturally I grabbed the first flight.

 

We lived in marital bliss, not foolishly in love, just a well matched couple who do everything well together and have a business planned for when we finally arrive here in the states.

 

The joint sponsor issue is handled, I have filed a request for expedited processing due to my own medical issues and my mother's impending death with which the dissolving of a thirty year household has to take place in rapid order. I need my wife's help with all of this because of medical reasons. I thought my mother would need care but she is so far gone it's only a matter of days now. My congressman is helping me get the attention of the USCIS and will try to push this along.

 

We've already waited five months to get past the receipt of our material and nothing more has happened.

 

She is a very talented accountant and also wants to introduce Chinese style medical massage and physical therapy in the states and as of today has her certification to do so.

 

It has been a rocky road getting to this point but we ran a household for eight months in Xintang together and loved every minute. If it weren't for Skype's video and audio meetings at least once a day, we would be two very sad people.

 

I am somehow going to have to make another trip to China against the advice of three of my doctors stating in formal letters that they don't want me traveling before the replacement surgery. I am in good health otherwise and doing much better as a result of my change of lifestyle living in China and of course for being with my wife and the wonderful development of our relationship.

 

How can they prove that we don't have an adequate relationship when during Chun Jie I have photos of my brothers in law and I toasting Mou tai and having a wonderful time, arms around each other's shoulders etc. Lots of photos. I want to adopt her 18 year old daughter. At what point do these people look at us and see that we are a family and allow us to live our lives in peace? This has taken a lot of turns over more than four years and we are closer and tighter than we have ever been. She is truly my wife and life companion in every sense. But I am not wealthy, but I am a good husband that will do anything to uphold the family structure and assist her in her planned ventures.

 

You can tell I am frustrated but not by years of denials. I am afraid of my own government and the lack of caring attitude toward people like us. At my age, I have no time to waste and she is ten years younger than me. If I leave the states, I lose medical insurance and a meager income that I can't replace if I live in China. My level of frustration with the medical foot dragging but still strong support to hold me here makes me fear for what seems to be a need to return to China against safe medical judgement. The closest place for me to be seen for my situation is 2000 miles away in Beijing. I would love to hear anything at all in response to this kind of situation. Do I just book a flight and roll the dice or play out the expedited doctors letters stating that they don't want me to leave the country and for my wife to be by my side during a very difficult time ahead and something that has been going on for two months now.

 

Are these people human?

Edited October 9, 2010 by dnoblett
One long paragraph broke down for ease of reading. (see edit history)

[danb]

Larry, so you will be changing your visas application? From a K-1 to a K-3? Over the past two years have you exchanged cards, letters, gifts, money, photo's, phone etc? If you have perhaps they may help support your case of an on going relationship. It is not to late if you haven't. It may not help but it won't hurt, IMHO. If you have now have more free time from work perhaps you can try to take a couple of shorter trips to China. Find some cheaper fares to the portal cities and plan your vaction in thoses cities. Cities such as Hong Kong or Beijing or Shanghai. Just a couple of ideas. I wish you luck.

 

Danb

[dnoblett]

Larry, so you will be changing your visas application? From a K-1 to a K-3? Over the past two years have you exchanged cards, letters, gifts, money, photo's, phone etc? If you have perhaps they may help support your case of an on going relationship. It is not to late if you haven't. It may not help but it won't hurt, IMHO. If you have now have more free time from work perhaps you can try to take a couple of shorter trips to China. Find some cheaper fares to the portal cities and plan your vaction in thoses cities. Cities such as Hong Kong or Beijing or Shanghai. Just a couple of ideas. I wish you luck.

 

Danb

There is no "Changing" from one type to another, you file another petition.

 

Also a K-3 is essentially a dead visa type SEE: http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=41574

 

What most do after a K-1 fails at interview is to visit, marry and file a new petition for a CR-1 spousal visa. In this case the denied K-1 may need to be dealt with. One of three things happens to a denied K-1.

1. USCIS reaffirms the K-1 and returns it to consulate for another interview, if couple married, they request to close the K-1.
2. USCIS administratively closes the K-1, they consider it expired and tells the petitioner to go ahead and file a new petition.
3. USCIS revokes the petition, and sends petitioner a letter asking them to address the revocation, if they fail to address this issue this can have the effect of getting any future petitions denied too.

[Mick]

I have advanced heart disease including blocked arteries, quadruple bypass, pacemaker/defib, and frequent angina. I lived in China from 1997-2003. This was after the bypass but prior to the pacemaker and the onset of Congestive Heart Failure. At present, my docs won't allow me to fly period, much less to China. You might want to check on the advisability of taking to the air for 17 hours or so.

 

I was fortunate in that during my last four years over there I had first rate cardiac care. It all depends on where you locate yourself. Guangdong is a good bet because of its proximity to Hong Kong, which has excellent facilities for health issues.I lived in Shantou, which is on the coast near the Fujian border. There are a couple of top notch cardiologists there and one of them has decent English skills. Good luck with your decision and your petition.

[TLB]

we talked to larry's fiancee. It seems another one of those GUZ interviews where the VO refused to (or could not) speak chinese. She said that the other windows were talking in chinese. So she never (to this day) understood what the VO said or was asking for concerning the last question.

 

apparently the questions went as:

1. who filed for you?

2. how did you meet?

3. how many visits... which produced a look by the VO

4. ??

 

Seems she was warned ahead of time: if you get window 29, you have some trouble... that was her window.

 

 

 

edited to clarify original post

 

 

Wow, this scares the hell out of me; is it required that she speak English well? The language of communication we use is Chinese (Mandarin) -- should we even be trying this?

[dnoblett]

we talked to larry's fiancee. It seems another one of those GUZ interviews where the VO refused to (or could not) speak chinese. She said that the other windows were talking in chinese. So she never (to this day) understood what the VO said or was asking for concerning the last question.

 

apparently the questions went as:

1. who filed for you?

2. how did you meet?

3. how many visits... which produced a look by the VO

4. ??

 

Seems she was warned ahead of time: if you get window 29, you have some trouble... that was her window.

 

 

 

edited to clarify original post

 

 

Wow, this scares the hell out of me; is it required that she speak English well? The language of communication we use is Chinese (Mandarin) -- should we even be trying this?

If they know that you share a common language "Chinese" and the VO has a problem with communicating in Chinese, then the VO has no reason being there doing interviews, and requiring English.

 

Here is the deal, if you will be in China for your wife's interview, which you SHOULD, then attend ACH before the interview and get this known that you will not tolerate this kind of treatment, and perhaps demonstrate that you are a fluent mandarin speaker.

 

They should then note this in the computer for interview.

[TLB]

we talked to larry's fiancee. It seems another one of those GUZ interviews where the VO refused to (or could not) speak chinese. She said that the other windows were talking in chinese. So she never (to this day) understood what the VO said or was asking for concerning the last question.

 

apparently the questions went as:

1. who filed for you?

2. how did you meet?

3. how many visits... which produced a look by the VO

4. ??

 

Seems she was warned ahead of time: if you get window 29, you have some trouble... that was her window.

 

 

 

edited to clarify original post

 

 

Wow, this scares the hell out of me; is it required that she speak English well? The language of communication we use is Chinese (Mandarin) -- should we even be trying this?

If they know that you share a common language "Chinese" and the VO has a problem with communicating in Chinese, then the VO has no reason being there doing interviews, and requiring English.

 

Here is the deal, if you will be in China for your wife's interview, which you SHOULD, then attend ACH before the interview and get this known that you will not tolerate this kind of treatment, and perhaps demonstrate that you are a fluent mandarin speaker.

 

They should then note this in the computer for interview.

 

Thanks so much -- I am certainly planning on being there, and was wondering how they might become convinced that our communication level is fine. This sounds like a good plan. I also made a special note in my I-130 to that affect (as an addendum), so maybe that will help.

[david_dawei]

wondering how they might become convinced that our communication level is fine.

The best way is submitting some evidence of that with the I-130. Since you guys have "time" as well, you should of submitted some spread across that time. If her english is good enough to do the interview, then they will see that.

[TLB]

wondering how they might become convinced that our communication level is fine.

The best way is submitting some evidence of that with the I-130. Since you guys have "time" as well, you should of submitted some spread across that time. If her english is good enough to do the interview, then they will see that.

 

Time we do have, and thanks for the reminder to make this a part of the I-130; I've included an explicit statement that we communicate in Mandarin, and included emails going back to February of 2009, all in Mandarin (they should be able to tell from my mistakes that I didn't write in English and then use an automatic or hired translator ).

 

She speaks very little English and I don't expect that even by interview time that her English would be good enough to use there. Let me know if you all think this will be a problem and I'll insist that she start taking formal classes (at this point she listens to tapes and we exchange a few words in English, but very few -- my Mandarin level is lower Advanced, from what I can tell by online placement tests and the site where I study, chinesepod.com).