Pit Crew Top 10

[Eric&Yuhui]

10/ We like suspense at BCIS ! What's the matter fellow? Don't you ?

9/ NVC screwed up again.. Budget cuts.. All petitions to go cargo ship via Anchorage as of 10/1/03

8/ P3 ? P4 ? We hate acronyms.. Get us confused.

7/ DHL promised us to clean up their act. No longer using Africa flight connections

6/ Chinese customs not to read every single page on petitions..

5/ Excel spread sheet got wiped out by Blaster. We nailed the kid though.

4/ Thank God, we haven't seen those Mick/ Owen bozzos for a while.. We can get some work done now.

3/ After all, what's a few more months in the Grand Scheme of Life ?

2/ We miss the Black Hole gang harrasment !

1/ X-mas's coming... Can I read bonus if we get things done ??

 

 

 

 

 

Just on the light side kids.. . just on the light side...

[Mick]

Great to see another Top Ten. As to #4, they should keep in mind that we can be brought out of mothballs on a moments notice.

[keelec]

1/ X-mas's coming... Can I read bonus if we get things done ??

Are the bonuses positive or negative?????

----- CK -----

[Robert S.]

Bravo for the special Top 10 for the pit crew! And yes I agree with Mick, the gang would help the crew if needed.

[tywy_99]

T0p Ten Dis.........frenchY...........

 

Ran thru da process like a "run thru the daffodils!".........go figr,...egH?

[frank1538]

Just got another email from GZ, again asking me to furnish Jingwen's address in Chinese so they could send her the P3. Having done so twice before, I'm beginning to wonder WTF is up with these folks, but it did cause me to think of another top ten:

 

Top ten responses from GZ (and their meanings)

 

10) We have not received your fiancee¡¯s files. (NVC said they sent them to us, but we can¡¯t find them among the 6,000 files already received.)

9) NVC no longer uses diplomatic pouch to send files to us. (We have a sweetheart deal with DHL. They charge us an arm and a leg, but they just put the stuff in regular mail.)

8) The instruction packet will be mailed next week. (You guess which month, ok?)

7) The instruction packet has been mailed. (We used your address in the US from 18 months ago, ok?)

6) The files are delayed in customs. (We can¡¯t seem to get this right ¨C paperwork? What paperwork? You mean Beijing wants us to file something?)

5) Please don¡¯t follow up for 5-7 business days as this will delay our response. (Come on, we dare you.)

4) Please provide us with the address in Chinese characters (We dare you to us our email form which only accepts pinyan, and faxes aren¡¯t read ¨C send it regular mail so we can have some breathing room.)

3) We have not received your fiancee¡¯s files. (This time, we actually have the files, but we like to screw with you.)

2) We have received your fiancee¡¯s files. (Just kidding)

1) We do not make mistakes. (We¡¯re the government. Of course we don¡¯t make mistakes. You read the prior emails incorrectly. No, they are not contradictory. They¡¯re written in govspeak. Let us translate them for you. Still waiting for the translation? Good. Send us a follow up email in 5-7 business days.)

[Mick]

Just got another email from GZ, again asking me to furnish Jingwen's address in Chinese so they could send her the P3.  Having done so twice before, I'm beginning to wonder WTF is up with these folks, but it did cause me to think of another top ten:

 

Top ten responses from GZ (and their meanings)

 

10) We have not received your fiancee¡¯s files.  (NVC said they sent them to us, but we can¡¯t find them among the 6,000 files already received.)

9) NVC no longer uses diplomatic pouch to send files to us.  (We have a sweetheart deal with DHL.  They charge us an arm and a leg, but they just put the stuff in regular mail.)

8) The instruction packet will be mailed next week.  (You guess which month, ok?)

7) The instruction packet has been mailed.  (We used your address in the US from 18 months ago, ok?)

6) The files are delayed in customs. (We can¡¯t seem to get this right ¨C paperwork?  What paperwork?  You mean Beijing wants us to file something?)

5) Please don¡¯t follow up for 5-7 business days as this will delay our response. (Come on, we dare you.)

4) Please provide us with the address in Chinese characters (We dare you to us our email form which only accepts pinyan, and faxes aren¡¯t read ¨C send it regular mail so we can have some breathing room.)

3) We have not received your fiancee¡¯s files.  (This time, we actually have the files, but we like to screw with you.)

2) We have received your fiancee¡¯s files. (Just kidding)

1) We do not make mistakes.  (We¡¯re the government.  Of course we don¡¯t make mistakes.  You read the prior emails incorrectly.  No, they are not contradictory.  They¡¯re written in govspeak.  Let us translate them for you.  Still waiting for the translation?  Good.  Send us a follow up email in 5-7 business days.)

Great Top Ten. I know it is humorous in intent, but #7 actually happened to us!

 

Caused a five week delay and landed us square in the Black Hole.

[frank1538]

#7 actually happened to us!  

 

Caused a five week delay and landed us square in the Black Hole.

Sorry, probably hit a little too close to home. Little known fact - Murphy (Murphy's Law) worked for the government.

[Mick]

No offense taken Frank. Our whole eighteen month ordeal was a comedy of errors so I developed a sense of humor a long time back.