AOS Interview Suggestions

[Jaseball]

I've read that there are 2 main reasons for an AOS interview. Correct me if I'm wrong.

1) They doubt the relationship is real.
2) They doubt you can support your wife.

Unfortunately I have been caught up in the current economic mess and lost a job of almost 8 years working for the state.

We're pretty well covered on the relationship front. Plenty of documentation of our travels, common bank and checking accounts, credit cards, photos, and we've pretty much been together 24/7 since she arrived and we were married.

What concern's me is my lack of employment and I am sure that will be their focus. I have submitted tax returns for 2006-2008 and have been pulling unemployment while looking for work.

I have fairly substantial retirement savings and cash on hand to support us for awhile barring major emergencies or problems.

I'm just not sure how to approach the AOS interview. I did ask family for a supplemental support form, but many were hesitant and didn't want to supply 3 years tax forms, income statements, and other information.

Push comes to shove there are still other family and friends I could ask to help, but it is pretty embarrassing and depressing to have to ask for this sort of thing, especially considering we've done everything on our own.

Just wondering what everyone thinks. If you folks feel I could get denied because of my employment status, perhaps I should swallow my pride and try again for a secondary sponsor before the interview. The crappy thing is some friends are in the same boat as I am - looking for work, so they can't help.

[dnoblett]

Have a joint-sponsor lined up, they will fill out an I-864 and attach the appropriate financials to teh form.

[Randy W]

I've read that there are 2 main reasons for an AOS interview. Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

1) They doubt the relationship is real.

2) They doubt you can support your wife.

 

 

 

The reason you interview is for the green card. Don't let anyone tell you that they know why some have interviews, while others don't.

 

You did turn in an I-864 with the application, didn't you?

 

If your cash on hand is at least three times the poverty line, you may be okay in any event. Do you have equity in your house? Do you have a car? Get creative - SHOW your financial situation

[Jaseball]

I'm pretty worried about this. I am her primary sponsor and I did submit the I-864 along with documentation of my last 3 years taxes and other financial status.

 

If my retirement accounts are counted I'm well over the poverty limit by 3x.

 

Haven't been sleeping well. Looking for a new job and having this interview hanging over our heads is stressful.

 

After about 8 months and 5 trips to the Social Security office we were finally told my wife should get a number and card in the mail in two weeks. There were still issues and the person there did a 'manual over ride,' and requested the number for us. I didn't even know this was possible.

 

I'm trying to line up someone for a supplemental support document. For various reasons this is hard to do, but I believe it may be necessary.

 

I can't imagine going through all this, all the time, effort, waiting, being separated, expenses, and being married, only to be told we can't adjust because you are currently unemployed and we doubt you can support her.

 

What happens then? They start deportation proceedings against my wife? I have to appeal the decision and spend money on an immigration attorney? It hurts my head just thinking about this.

 

I'm currently asking family to provide a supplemental support form, but it really feels invasive. The idea of asking them for pay stubs, W2 forms, and 3 years tax returns, while also having them feel financially obligated to my wife if I happen to drop dead is really very difficult on many levels.

 

I hate putting people into a corner like that. Why couldn't I have been approved and in at least the 2 year conditional period before losing my job? Heck, why did I have to lose my job in the first place?

 

Any more opinions? Anyone else go in with a stellar work history, but unemployed at the time?

[Jon & Cindy]

I'm going to be in the same boat. I got laid off about 2.5 months ago. I couldn't find another job so went back to school. Cindy is currently working but she'll be going to school in October. I got savings and 401K accounts, equity, etc. I'd hate to have to ask my parents to co-sign but I know they would. Guess we'll see.

 

Jon & Cindy

[Jaseball]

I never thought it would be such a task to get someone to co-sponsor my wife.

 

Not here to air out dirty laundry, so no details, but suffice it to say I may not have the option of a completed supplemental support form in the background as insurance.

 

My entire plan was to go to our interview next week and do everything possible to qualify on our own. That is still the plan, but I thought having a completed form I could turn in, just in case, was a good idea.

 

Talk about disappointing. I was already angry because many family and friends really didn't extend a warm welcome to my wife and it's already been several months since our marriage.

 

My wife is a sweetheart too. She speaks English, is shy, but friendly, and we're happy together, but I always felt an air of disdain, superiority, or some other complete crap from some people in my life. Thought it was just in my mind and I was paranoid, but I guess the ol' gut was right.

 

Oh well. You never know who your real friends and I guess supportive family members are until you are in a bind and feel the need to ask for help, only to get shunned or receive some utter BS excuses. Hell, at least my conscience is clear if things reverse and the same folks need my help and I say no. What's fair is fair.

 

At least this is all clear now. In some ways this is better, since if I didn't get laid off I would have never had to ask for help, never learned a few things about some people, and I'd still be clueless right now.

 

Tried to shield my wife from some of this BS, but she's smart and knows what is going on, so she's hurt.

 

I actually thought I'd have several people offering to help and I'd have to pick one. Really didn't think it would be a 180 degree situation and I am still sort of in shock.

Edited September 3, 2009 by Jaseball (see edit history)

[Guest Pommey]

Sorry to hear that about the family and friends, all to familiar story though

[Jaseball]

Sorry to hear that about the family and friends, all to familiar story though

 

 

 

Familiar? I guess I haven't read too many posts about this sort of situation, but the situation is probably far too common.

 

One former friend who I had lost touch with I contacted a few years back. It had nothing to do with the current situation, supplemental support, or what is happening now. What is relevant though is I reached out to the guy and just wanted to have a drink/lunch and catch up a bit.

 

That former friend was on top of the world. Was in with Google in a great job, recently married, wife made great money and he lived the good life.

 

He basically told me he never asked people for help because he didn't want to be disappointed and he also felt he did everything on his own and didn't want to owe anything to anybody.

 

I'm sure he was excluding his wife and own family in that comment, but I got the idea. His meaning was pretty much, "Don't ask me for anything because I never plan to ask you for anything."

 

Never talked to that guy again, even though we were good friends all through high school and college. That saying about a friend in need is a friend indeed applies perfectly and I'll never forget that experience.

 

Now it is the same sort of feeling. Nobody likes to ask for help, but when they do it is usually for a very important matter. I've never asked for help from my family. Like most folks I like to be independent and self sufficient. I also don't want to be a bother or a burden or anybody or have to put someone on the spot.

 

Still, this was the first time I did ask for help and I guess it will be the last as well, since all things considered this request was important to me, but I can think of several other situations that would be far more critical.

 

The crazy thing is my best friend did step up and is planning on helping. It is a sad state when your friend helps out when your blood turned away.

[Jaseball]

Well, tomorrow is our interview day. Been preparing for the last two days and reading/posting here like crazy.

 

My best friend stepped up and is a joint sponsor if needed. I hope we pass the interview without having to submit his support document. He doesn't have an issue with it, his wife and family know and are ok, but still I would rather be able to do this on our own.

 

Printed out about 150 photos of our last China trip when I picked my then fiancee up, first meal we cooked together, restaurant outings, XMas, New Year, Chinese New Year, about 6 different vacations.

 

I don't think I'm going to sleep too much tonight. Haven't been sleeping well for the past few days.

[Batmaniac]

Best of luck! I am absolutely certain you guys will be fine.

[warpedbored]

 

The crazy thing is my best friend did step up and is planning on helping. It is a sad state when your friend helps out when your blood turned away.

Friends are the only family you get to choose.

[Jaseball]

 

The crazy thing is my best friend did step up and is planning on helping. It is a sad state when your friend helps out when your blood turned away.

Friends are the only family you get to choose.

 

 

 

True, but unfortunately I've been let down pretty hard by many friends I chose that turned out to be not so great friends when there were a few bumps in my life.

 

Of course, this time someone also stepped up and validated my faith in our friendship, so that was something I'll always remember.