Guest jin979 Posted May 19, 2009 Report Share Posted May 19, 2009 The thread was Taoism, does it fit in the US. The Taoists teach patience, peace, compassion, understanding and putting ethics before materialism. Will it fit in the US? Of course like the teachings of Christ it would be accepted by some, but these beliefs (like Christ's) would never fit with the greed, violence, racism, power capitalism of a militaristic nation like ours. sorry.im not being clear.im talking about understanding your wives/husbands and fiancees families more than acceptance or how Taoist fits into USA. but acceptance of how she thinks then yes. i do not talk for all chinese. Link to comment
Guest jin979 Posted May 20, 2009 Report Share Posted May 20, 2009 apart from cerebus. amafan and a few i dont see many members talk about learning eachother in USA and cultural things. i believe after getting visa this is most important thing CFL can help with. as such to use USA talk "cowboy up" and share your experience. dont be shy B) Link to comment
samsong Posted May 20, 2009 Report Share Posted May 20, 2009 YES- 'Culture & Language Discussion' is an old room where members exchange views on many different situations that we all face. It's a great room! Many wonderful stories! Link to comment
Guest Pommey Posted May 20, 2009 Report Share Posted May 20, 2009 very interesting responses from the CFL members, that usually have so much to say about all things, but when asked to share their personal experience of life together here together then they and something to hide ? Link to comment
mao mao so Posted May 20, 2009 Report Share Posted May 20, 2009 apart from cerebus. amafan and a few i dont see many members talk about learning eachother in USA and cultural things. i believe after getting visa this is most important thing CFL can help with. as such to use USA talk "cowboy up" and share your experience. dont be shy Jie has been here almost 9 months now, how time flys. I agree with you Jin, "learning each other" is a very important aspect of my relationship now. I don't have any specific examples to give, or at least any "big things", mostly its just every day little things, but Jie and I have many converstations where she concludes by saying to me, "I know you more now". Mostly that's good. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes she points out things I didn't realize about myself. All that in less than a year. I've said it a few times to her now too. Exploring our cultural differences has been an adventure so far. It helps that she's a pretty easy person to talk to, and insightful. Jeff Link to comment
IllinoisDave Posted May 20, 2009 Report Share Posted May 20, 2009 very interesting responses from the CFL members, that usually have so much to say about all things, but when asked to share their personal experience of life together here together then they and something to hide ? Not everyone comes to Candle to share details of their private lives with members of this forum, not matter how much they may like those members. Calling out those who may feel that way seems inappropriate. Link to comment
Guest Pommey Posted May 20, 2009 Report Share Posted May 20, 2009 very interesting responses from the CFL members, that usually have so much to say about all things, but when asked to share their personal experience of life together here together then they and something to hide ? Not everyone comes to Candle to share details of their private lives with members of this forum, not matter how much they may like those members. Calling out those who may feel that way seems inappropriate. Dave you crack me up, lighten up. feel free not to share Link to comment
IllinoisDave Posted May 20, 2009 Report Share Posted May 20, 2009 very interesting responses from the CFL members, that usually have so much to say about all things, but when asked to share their personal experience of life together here together then they and something to hide ? Not everyone comes to Candle to share details of their private lives with members of this forum, not matter how much they may like those members. Calling out those who may feel that way seems inappropriate. Dave you crack me up, lighten up. feel free not to share And fell free not to complain about it. B) Link to comment
whome? Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 Sounds interesting Jin, tell us more. Westerners sometimes have a hard time understanding eastern ideas. Is this a religion or a philosophy? When I was married to my ex who is Japanese I became interested in the ancient Japanese religion of Shintoism. I read everything I could find on it and ended up more confused than I was at the beginning. It's a religion that isn't a religion that is bound up in ancestor and nature worship. I came to the conclusion that you have to be Japanese to understand it. i dont really mean it as either but as a insight into how some of us think and behave. the reason is to help you understand us better in how be towards us.some of you have expressed this before, example when you show through your behaviour that you are thinking/respecting us first. in contrast if we perceive selfish acts then this is hard to understand/accept as its disrespect.example self before family. not looking after your elders is wrong to us. this would be considered as big disrespect. found the spelling checking Another example friends. friends in china are much closer, will help you with anything selflessly and once friends it lasts forever. contrast friends in west seem like shallow, will be friend if convenient will even betray friend. again disrespect.on a simple level you met with friend/family on street first thing you ask is have you eaten. if not you buy them meal. no expectation they pay there share, selflessness.these are just examples of how Taoist is is a part of living.Again i don't talk for all Chinese I would think most of the non-Chinese spouses here also think the same way ... different religion/background/etc. but most people are raised and taught these values .. no one shows them every minute of the day and everyone is selfish in some ways ... I have "friends" in USA who I found out are like you said but I also met and had "friends" in China who it turns out just wanted to do some business deals with me, use me, etc. not really be my friend. Going to a meal and spilting the cost is the normal culture in USA. It is not selfish just different. Link to comment
Robert S. Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 When I was going to clip my toenails one day when she had not been with me very long she stopped me and said that right then was not a good time to do this. I think it was afternoon and she said to wait for the morning. At that point I knew that I had someone who had a tremendous amount of cultural inheritance that I knew nothing about. So interesting!!! She has got feng shui to the bone. She can't stand the way I use the wire fastener thingie that comes with bread, the plastic has got to be tied and folded under in the proper manner. If you eat a fish, you cannot turn it over, you have to eat the top part and then remove the spine and then you can eat the lower part. I believe that she is living with a wealth of material she absorbed from her mother and grandmother, some of which is Daoist related I am sure. Link to comment
david_dawei Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 When I was going to clip my toenails one day when she had not been with me very long she stopped me and said that right then was not a good time to do this. I think it was afternoon and she said to wait for the morning. At that point I knew that I had someone who had a tremendous amount of cultural inheritance that I knew nothing about. So interesting!!! She has got feng shui to the bone. She can't stand the way I use the wire fastener thingie that comes with bread, the plastic has got to be tied and folded under in the proper manner. If you eat a fish, you cannot turn it over, you have to eat the top part and then remove the spine and then you can eat the lower part. I believe that she is living with a wealth of material she absorbed from her mother and grandmother, some of which is Daoist related I am sure.ah yes... brings back a few similar memories... quite profound... takes a long standing member to articulate this first... nice post. Link to comment
Guest Pommey Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 Well I will share something (no Don it's not me in fish nets) One thing I have learnt is that marrying a Yunnan lass, means marrying the family in what once I would have thought as "private" is now family. Discussions on many things are debated until a consensus is reached, interesting leaning curve, but fun. Link to comment
whome? Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 Well I will share something (no Don it's not me in fish nets) One thing I have learnt is that marrying a Yunnan lass, means marrying the family in what once I would have thought as "private" is now family. Discussions on many things are debated until a consensus is reached, interesting leaning curve, but fun. I had this experience too ... I was recently included in on a discussion about whether my sister in law should marry her current bf ... i.e. is he good enough for her ?... very different family meeting than I have every attended ... Link to comment
Guest jin979 Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 good book for reading http://www.timesbook.com/productdetail.asp?id=27281 Link to comment
david_dawei Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 good book for reading http://www.timesbook.com/productdetail.asp?id=27281I found it cheaper on Amazon... it had better be good or Rob gets a bill from me Link to comment
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