American breakfast or Chinese breakfast?

[Guest lilac6451]

I think there is some kind of arguement going on here. This topic has turned into something else instead of American breakfast or Chinese breakfast.

 

You must admit, a lot of guys here dont like the reality check until it is too late.

 

As a woman, and a Chinese myself, I can read very obvious that Ken's wife doesnt like him, not American breakfast. I will tell you guys why. Because in Chinese culture, if a woman married a man willingly and happily, she will like everything her husband likes, at least she will not say anything or do anything in a confrontedly way to her husband. Unfortunately, she is doing that to him.

 

So you guys, just want to say everything is peaches and cream even if there is a red flag.

 

Some people actually are acting in a mean way unintentionally because instead of helping Ken realize the truth and remind him to do more communication with his wife in order to solve all the future problems, you just hide all from him.

 

So what will be the consequences? After spending tons of money and energy to bring her here, she might disappear in the airport, another missing wife. Is that what you want to happen to him?

 

I dont want to offend anyone. Maybe, I am wrong, because miracle does happen, doesnt it?

 

Hello Ms lilac:

 

I don't think that you should become the unauthorized staff psychiatrist or fortune teller for CFL members, and create hell here !

 

You may know a thing or two about China, but you have not learned a thing about US culture. It is highly impolite and rude to tell someone's face in front of several hundred strangers that you two do not like each other and you will have a divorce in 1-2 years, even if that is true. Here, you do not even know us and you make a prediction ! It is outrageous ! !

 

I am sure that you had a divorce. How did that happen, the fortune telling person? Your husband had a divorce. How could you trust him? He could divorce you next year! How do you know?

 

If I say that I am a fortune telling gypsy, and you two are going to die in a car accident within one year, would that make you happy knowing the reality in advance, or would that affect you in any other way regarless of the fact that it is true or not.

 

Would you look at your husband and say " Honey, you are wearing red today. It represents blood. You will bleed to death today", even if it going to be true?

 

Do I need to say any more?

 

 

I see that you looked at my reply. You did not say anything. You had no explanation, you had no logic and you had no justification for what you wrote.

 

You said that some people here are acting in a mean way (by not insulting me like you did?). Actually the only person acting in a mean way was you!

 

It seems you still did not understand the implications of what you said. Let me give you another example.

 

Let us say that someone comes to your house and meets you and your husband. He tells you: " Instead of walking forward, you were walking towards the left. That means you don't love your husband. You married him only for his money! When he loses all his money and when incomes goes below poverty line, "you will run away to the airport", the way you described or you will run away to your boy friend! "

 

Then he turns to your husband and says: Your friends are not helping you. You have to have a reality check. You have to look for red flags. Everything is not peaches and cream! You have to have communication. etc. It will be a miracle is ever likes you! (Sounds like you. Doesn't he?)

 

Would you adore him, worship him like a sooth sayer, and make him your best family friend, because he is not mean to you like many of your other friends, because he is so "intelligent " and helpful, because of him openness and his "knowledge", or would you just kick him out of the house, or call the police and have him arrested? I would do the later!

 

The fact remains. By writing what you did, you insulted me and my wife in front of my friends and thousands of CFL members. And you have no shame!!

 

The least you can do is to admit your wrong doings and apologize!

 

I am waiting ! !

 

Ken88

 

 

1.First of all, you come here to post to get opinions and here is what you got. If you dont like different opinions, dont post.

 

2.Secondly, I will express the same opinion no matter what the screennames are. It is not necessarily you that I wrote to.

 

3.Thirdly,I do apologize to people if I did something wrong, but not to you. In my opinion, you are so low that you dont deserve it. If I had known your personality before, I would have never replied anything you posted.Did I make my point clear?

Edited July 6, 2008 by lilac6451 (see edit history)

[Guest Mike and Lily]

I think he'll understand it now. Your English is grammatically correct this time.

[IllinoisDave]

I think there is some kind of arguement going on here. This topic has turned into something else instead of American breakfast or Chinese breakfast.

 

You must admit, a lot of guys here dont like the reality check until it is too late.

 

As a woman, and a Chinese myself, I can read very obvious that Ken's wife doesnt like him, not American breakfast. I will tell you guys why. Because in Chinese culture, if a woman married a man willingly and happily, she will like everything her husband likes, at least she will not say anything or do anything in a confrontedly way to her husband. Unfortunately, she is doing that to him.

 

So you guys, just want to say everything is peaches and cream even if there is a red flag.

 

Some people actually are acting in a mean way unintentionally because instead of helping Ken realize the truth and remind him to do more communication with his wife in order to solve all the future problems, you just hide all from him.

 

So what will be the consequences? After spending tons of money and energy to bring her here, she might disappear in the airport, another missing wife. Is that what you want to happen to him?

 

I dont want to offend anyone. Maybe, I am wrong, because miracle does happen, doesnt it?

 

Hello Ms lilac:

 

I don't think that you should become the unauthorized staff psychiatrist or fortune teller for CFL members, and create hell here !

 

You may know a thing or two about China, but you have not learned a thing about US culture. It is highly impolite and rude to tell someone's face in front of several hundred strangers that you two do not like each other and you will have a divorce in 1-2 years, even if that is true. Here, you do not even know us and you make a prediction ! It is outrageous ! !

 

I am sure that you had a divorce. How did that happen, the fortune telling person? Your husband had a divorce. How could you trust him? He could divorce you next year! How do you know?

 

If I say that I am a fortune telling gypsy, and you two are going to die in a car accident within one year, would that make you happy knowing the reality in advance, or would that affect you in any other way regarless of the fact that it is true or not.

 

Would you look at your husband and say " Honey, you are wearing red today. It represents blood. You will bleed to death today", even if it going to be true?

 

Do I need to say any more?

 

 

I see that you looked at my reply. You did not say anything. You had no explanation, you had no logic and you had no justification for what you wrote.

 

You said that some people here are acting in a mean way (by not insulting me like you did?). Actually the only person acting in a mean way was you!

 

It seems you still did not understand the implications of what you said. Let me give you another example.

 

Let us say that someone comes to your house and meets you and your husband. He tells you: " Instead of walking forward, you were walking towards the left. That means you don't love your husband. You married him only for his money! When he loses all his money and when incomes goes below poverty line, "you will run away to the airport", the way you described or you will run away to your boy friend! "

 

Then he turns to your husband and says: Your friends are not helping you. You have to have a reality check. You have to look for red flags. Everything is not peaches and cream! You have to have communication. etc. It will be a miracle is ever likes you! (Sounds like you. Doesn't he?)

 

Would you adore him, worship him like a sooth sayer, and make him your best family friend, because he is not mean to you like many of your other friends, because he is so "intelligent " and helpful, because of him openness and his "knowledge", or would you just kick him out of the house, or call the police and have him arrested? I would do the later!

 

The fact remains. By writing what you did, you insulted me and my wife in front of my friends and thousands of CFL members. And you have no shame!!

 

The least you can do is to admit your wrong doings and apologize!

 

I am waiting ! !

 

Ken88

 

 

1.First of all, you come here to post to get opinions and here is what you got. If you dont like different opinions, dont post.

 

2.Secondly, I will express the same opinion no matter what the screennames are. It is not necessarily you that I wrote to.

 

3.Thirdly,I do apologize to people if I did something wrong, but not to you. In my opinion, you are so low that you dont deserve it. If I had known your personality before, I would have never replied anything you posted.Did I make my point clear?

Lilac.

While it's true that you're entitled to add your opinion, it's also true that your opinion could be wrong. And it's one thing to state a simple fact and be wrong. But it's another entirely to give your opinion about what a man's wife thinks about him and why she acts toward him the way she does.

 

You stated as fact that Ken's wife dislikes HIM, not American breakfast. Have you ever met Ken's wife? Ever talked to her by phone or email? If not, then it seems to me you're stating a fact,not just your opinion, about which you have no direct knowledge. You went on to state,as fact, that in Chinese culture if a woman marries a man willingly and happily, that she would like everything he likes.

 

Well the first is your opinion and it can be debated as to whether it's an insult or not. Had you qualified it in any way instead of stating it as fact, that would be one thing. But, IMHO, to say it in the manner you did is at the very least tactless and at worst insulting.

 

As for your second assertion of "fact"? I can say you're wrong, at least in my family's case. My wife dislikes many things that I like, certain foods,sports on TV and other things. And she's not afraid to tell me in no uncertain terms that she dislikes certain things. I don't consider that a negative. Liking and disliking different things makes for a much more satisfying and interesting marriage IMO. Life would be pretty boring if we all liked all the same things.

 

Lilac,I've had great respect for you and your opinion here. But you've now asserted as fact,in public, that a fellow member's wife (whom you possibly have never met or spoken to) doesn't like him and that he is too "low" for you to consider apologizing to. Sorry, but I think you're off base on this one.

[david_dawei]

opinion or fact.. an opinion made to sound like fact... a fact which is an opinion...

 

Let it all go!

 

Lilac shared a feeling from what's been posted. I think she has an astute observation, but like must of our shared observations on CFL, we don't know the entire story, we usually just get one side and it's probably not all the facts (but I'm not going to debate that now), and it's unclear if our response is something that applies to this situation or not (which is her second point above). Chinese ladies can sometimes speak very directly. My wife "offends" people by talking directly and not sugar coating... many will have to get used to this or they are in for bigger surprises.

 

If there is one thing I've learned about chinese indirect meaning is that it's impossible to generalize but it's very possible that a thousand meanings can apply; Figuring out which meaning in which situation for which couple is sometimes not easy to see. The post arose because someone doesn't understand the meaning of what they see going on. Many here will be next in line at some point...

Edited July 6, 2008 by DavidZixuan (see edit history)