America is boring

[Finer in China]

Well, I've lived near Chicago almost my entire life,including five years in the city itself. IMO it doesn't compare at all to the vibrance of Shanghai at least. Yes, maybe part of it is the fact that there are so many people everywhere. But Shanghai just has a kind of pulse that you feel everywhere you go, 24/7. The same can't be said of Chi-town, IMHO.

 

Does that mean that Chicago is boring? Not hardly. But if your looking for pure non-stop excitement, I'd pick Shanghai over it anytime.

Yes, Chicago is a city of dynamic neighborhoods. It isn't pure non-stop people-packed excitement. I can't think of one place I've lived in the USA that is like that including Manhatten, LA, etc. But moving to such a diverse city as Chicago can be daunting to even other Americans. Where I live in the near North suburbs it is about 50% Russian in my neighborhood. Go over a few miles and it is hardcore Thai, the other way is Korean to the hilt, then there is Chinatown, Ukrainian village, Polish pockets, etc. just about everything. But I've always liked Chicago because these all seem to work together and add variety to the city of big shoulders.

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

When I visted my SO I explained to her most American cities compared to Nanning are sedate at best. My area does not have vendors on every sidewalk selling fruit, make shift fast food wagons or bicycles and 1,000s of people walking around. I continued to tell her that the car has made us all strangers to one and other. We have the independence of the car for sure but there is the downside to it. I do not think she quite understood what I was trying to explain to her.

When I was 1st in China I looked around at the scenery and what I saw reminded me of old 1920s photographs of New Yorks lower east side of Manhattan. With all the newly arrived Immigrants working and applying their trades around.

Yes compared to Nanning my city and county would be very quiet and boring place.

So what do you do to make things more exciting for your new SO after she arrives and the new wears off?

[tsap seui]

My lil' rabbit has lived everyday of her life in a lil' hamlet of 1.3 million people, with 387,237 horse/donkey/ox drawn carts, 997,040 worn out 1950's bicycles (some 20 feet long), and one Harley Davidson.

 

Sometimes, in the mornings I call my lil' rabbit as I'm drivin' to a job.

 

She says, "You safe inna car, talka me?"

 

I look around at the picture post card views of the rolling mountains I am surrounded in as I drive, laugh to myself, and tell her..."Baby, this is very no samea China...I no see other car, I no see other people walka"...and "Chinese style" I'll toot the horn a bunch of times times so she can see I'm actually in a car.

 

And we both have a big laugh.

 

Sixteen months ago, when I first met her and went to her city, I explained that my home did not have as many people in it as she has in one block of her city. I asked her if she thought she would like that.

 

Her answer: "Oh my God, I no likea many people. Many people makea I tired, I go to shop or other. I seeka small people."

 

While in Guangzhou for the dern interview, when, she told me she hated Guangzhou...I knew I had found the right woman. Boy, are we on the same page

 

I must admit, she will miss the sauna...so in that regard, I have stockpiled lots of 30 grit wet/sandpaper and have turned my water heater up to 175 degrees in preparation for her eventual/possible/maybe/one can only hope for, arrival in america.

 

I jest can't wait to rub down that beautiful body with that 30 grit sandpaper the Chinese call loofa pads...oh my Gawd...oh my Gawd

 

tsap seui

Posting to you from a very cold shower as I try to think about my favorite Mickey Mantle homerun

[Li & John]

Hi Everyone,

My wife is very bored here in America and I can see why. In China she had a lot of good friends,Family and a great life. Here she has none of this. She works hard for low money and for a job that she hates. I work hard eveyday sometimes 9 to 10 hours a day. When the weekend comes I am very tired and after paying all the bills I have very little money to do anything. The first time I went to China I learned that I liked China and all the good things that China had to offer. Here in America I can't even afford to go out to dinner. In China we could go out every night. I did not know how bad I had it in America until I went to China. In China I could live a good life, here I can barely survive. Is this the American dream? I think it is the American Nightmare. My wife is ready to return as soon as possible and get the hell out of this nightmare and I don't blame her at all. My wife deserves a good life not this hell that she has to deal with every day. I know a lot of you will dissagree with me but maybe you all have better jobs and more money. I could be wrong but that is the way I see it. I am tired of fighting all my life and want a good life too but it will never happen here in America.

 

Take Care.

Thank you

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

Hi Everyone,

My wife is very bored here in America and I can see why. In China she had a lot of good friends,Family and a great life. Here she has none of this. She works hard for low money and for a job that she hates. I work hard eveyday sometimes 9 to 10 hours a day. When the weekend comes I am very tired and after paying all the bills I have very little money to do anything. The first time I went to China I learned that I liked China and all the good things that China had to offer. Here in America I can't even afford to go out to dinner. In China we could go out every night. I did not know how bad I had it in America until I went to China. In China I could live a good life, here I can barely survive. Is this the American dream? I think it is the American Nightmare. My wife is ready to return as soon as possible and get the hell out of this nightmare and I don't blame her at all. My wife deserves a good life not this hell that she has to deal with every day. I know a lot of you will dissagree with me but maybe you all have better jobs and more money. I could be wrong but that is the way I see it. I am tired of fighting all my life and want a good life too but it will never happen here in America.

 

Take Care.

Thank you

Life is what you can make of it. It is nothing wrong with having and wanting a good life together. If you find a lemon turn it into lemmonade. If you have a chip on your shoulder like we all do at sometime or another take a bow.

Any nation on earth has its good and bad points. Yea I just returned from China a few days ago. I miss the Hell out of my Special Other and the hustle and bustle of China.

Maybe you need to analyze what is wrong with your special spot on Earth. Ask yourself how do I change things. Is it it worth going to China to live? Is it worth the effort here in the USA to make a go of it? Before yo do anything you must approach things with your attitude in a positive light. If you think America is a bad place well no problem your view will come before as being right.

[tsap seui]

Hi Everyone,

My wife is very bored here in America and I can see why. In China she had a lot of good friends,Family and a great life. Here she has none of this. She works hard for low money and for a job that she hates. I work hard eveyday sometimes 9 to 10 hours a day. When the weekend comes I am very tired and after paying all the bills I have very little money to do anything. The first time I went to China I learned that I liked China and all the good things that China had to offer. Here in America I can't even afford to go out to dinner. In China we could go out every night. I did not know how bad I had it in America until I went to China. In China I could live a good life, here I can barely survive. Is this the American dream? I think it is the American Nightmare. My wife is ready to return as soon as possible and get the hell out of this nightmare and I don't blame her at all. My wife deserves a good life not this hell that she has to deal with every day. I know a lot of you will dissagree with me but maybe you all have better jobs and more money. I could be wrong but that is the way I see it. I am tired of fighting all my life and want a good life too but it will never happen here in America.

 

Take Care.

Thank you

 

John, I, for one, hear you loud and clear.

 

I've enjoyed a blessed life in america. I've always been a highly patriotic american, even used to believe the propaganda and rhetoric.

 

And now, in this stage of my life, I suddenly find all my rights as an american citizen have been stripped and tossed to the curb...by the Department of State and their mice in Guangzhou. I even volunteered to fight for those damned rights, almost gave my life for them. I see that all the preparation, hard work, and rehearsals, for the interview that my fiancee and I did doesn't mean crap to the powers that "would be". And, months ago, I found myself asking, "why am I stressing out about this? It may not even be the path "we" are supposed to be on."

 

I truly want my fiancee to live her dream of seeing america, even if it is only for 6 months or a year...but...my american dream was thrown to the curb the day those mice pissed on my rights.

 

Don't look at your life negatively. Open yourself to the blessing that was given to you to have your wife join you here in the so called "promised land". So she's bored, and you're workin' your butt off to keep your head above the water, at least your wife got to come to america and see for herself what it is sometimes all about, and more and more becoming a standard.

 

Re-read and look at the MESSAGE, to yourself and your wife, that in your very words you gave yourself.

 

Be positive buddy, think positive. Be active, not reactive.

 

Please don't be negative, it will bog your life down...maybe forever.

 

This is a blessed life we are given, and it is very short. Make every day be a happy one.

 

If you analize your words in your post you will see you have given yourself the answer you seek, to both you and your wife's happiness and full life.

 

Take the bull by the horns, only you are the captain of your ship. You can steer your ship into the ground, or happily sail the open seas.

 

If you have the means, convert those american pesos into Chairman Mao's and go "home".

 

Your happiness is openly limited by your imagination.

 

tsap seui

Not letting the negativity of american mice in a consulate turn me into a bitter man all that negativity is bouncin' off of my back and going right back to it's source. They can have "it"...they deserve "it".

[IllinoisDave]

Hi Everyone,

My wife is very bored here in America and I can see why. In China she had a lot of good friends,Family and a great life. Here she has none of this. She works hard for low money and for a job that she hates. I work hard eveyday sometimes 9 to 10 hours a day. When the weekend comes I am very tired and after paying all the bills I have very little money to do anything. The first time I went to China I learned that I liked China and all the good things that China had to offer. Here in America I can't even afford to go out to dinner. In China we could go out every night. I did not know how bad I had it in America until I went to China. In China I could live a good life, here I can barely survive. Is this the American dream? I think it is the American Nightmare. My wife is ready to return as soon as possible and get the hell out of this nightmare and I don't blame her at all. My wife deserves a good life not this hell that she has to deal with every day. I know a lot of you will dissagree with me but maybe you all have better jobs and more money. I could be wrong but that is the way I see it. I am tired of fighting all my life and want a good life too but it will never happen here in America.

 

Take Care.

Thank you

 

Your sentiments are very understandable. I wonder if my wife won't start to experience some of the same things that your Li is going through. And I know I've felt some of the same things you have about life here. That's nothing to have to apologize for. Some days I just think: "The hell with it Sweetie, we're going to China. You can go back to your well-paying job and I'll pick up an English-teaching job for a few extra yuan a month. We'll eat great food on the cheap every day. I'll get to live in a new exciting land amid a culture I've come to admire."

 

Then I start to think about all the realities of actually doing that. The not being able to speak the language and being out of my element culturally,the pollution,the iffy water,the possibility that the Chinese economy could be headed to a place where it's much less affordable to live there than it is now.

 

Neither list of factors really outweighs the other so much that my mind is set for or against a move if it were to come to that. I just think a lot more thinking and talking it over would be called for before making a final decision. I suspect that's true for most of us.

 

Good luck with your decision.

[Dennis143]

Every time I pass this thread by or stop to read it, I always picture Leiqin as we're driving outside the city, through a small town and her pointing out some small home tucked back alone in the countryside and asking me why we can't live or retire here.

 

Edit: I really think the woman's (or man's) age plays a big part on their adjustment. If they have plenty to do and are kept busy, like any human, they will cherish the refuge that their new home offers them. Webcam, Chinese TV, IM and annual trips home to China will suffice.

Edited March 2, 2008 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[izus]

Every time I pass this thread by or stop to read it, I always picture Leiqin as we're driving outside the city, through a small town and her pointing out some small home tucked back alone in the countryside and asking me why we can't live or retire here.

 

Edit: I really think the woman's (or man's) age plays a big part on their adjustment. If they have plenty to do and are kept busy, like any human, they will cherish the refuge that their new home offers them. Webcam, Chinese TV, IM and annual trips home to China will suffice.

i dont think its so much the age as much as it is attitude.

 

i was really worried about the transition from big city beijing girl to small town central florida girl. every once in a while she says lets go to miami and see big buildings.

 

maybe shes is just mature for her age

least one of us is...

Edited March 4, 2008 by izus (see edit history)

[Li & John]

Or people doing Tai Chi in the parks and street corners.

 

 

 

I'm in a new a state since I made my first trip to China and no longer hold these opinions. But I wonder what some of the SO's are saying out there, especially the ones that are living in cities with little or no Asian influence, or just small town period. Or ones that are living in large cities with East Asian influence would be interesting to know tpo.

 

 

 

Anyone care to tell us what your SO has experienced, and maybe even why.

Well, in our hood, you can get much of the same feeling as China with taiji in the parks every morning. Living around and among so many Chinese we still enjoy the flavor of China, especially with Chinese friends dropping by unannounced and having an impromtu, mini-party until bedtime.

For me, I like it this way, as America is boring by comparison to China. I think that's one of the reasons I enjoyed China and miss it so much.

 

I agree with you 100% !!!!! You hit the nail right on the head.