Culture Clash already...

[Robert S.]

My wife will kiss a cat or a dog. She loves animals. If you are an animal lover, Monkey, then you should marry an animal lover.

 

My wife, Ping, can call a cat that she has never seen before. I've never seen anybody else who can do that. She can call the cat and the craziest wildest cat will come to her. Maybe not the first time she tries but she will see it the next day and call "kitty, kitty" and it will come to her. Dogs adore her. I guess these animals can see into her heart, or they are guessing she would be a good bet to give them something good to eat.

[Jeikun]

Jun used to run a pet store in China. This is actually how we ended up talking to each other on the internet, talked about pets. One of her dogs was one she had taken form a lady who had used her as a breeder, the other was one from her pet store she couldn't part with.

 

She was nervous about cats, but after meeting my dad's cats loved them too. She will kiss and share food with the dogs, and they sleep on the bed unless her mom finds out.

 

It did take me a while to convince her that having a dog or cat while pregnant wouldn't make your children retarded (though a pregnant woman should avoid cat feces as there is a small risk for a pregnancy complication as a result). She tried to convince others of this on a Chinese pet forum and was basically run off for being "crazy".

 

Her ex mother-in-law hated that she refused to cook dog meat for her son.

 

A couple of years ago, we were about to go to a friend's home when this flea-bitten half starved kitten came up to her in our driveway. We immediatly had to postpone our plans to take it inside, feed it, and clean it up. The little turd bit clean through my fingernail when we were bathing it, it was ATE UP with fleas. She nursed it back to health, it got fat and happy, she named it... Then we found out it belonged to my aging neighbor's son. He was in his 60's and had terminal cancer. He had been taking it to the vet, stopped to visit his mother (our neighbor) and left it in the car with the window cracked. My dad had offered to not tell him she had it, if she would rather keep it, but she felt sorry for the guy because he was divorced, dying etc... so gave him his cat back. He cried and thanked her, and took the cat home. A month later we found out it had died. He took very poor care of it, and had let it stay outside and it contracted some skin disease and he had it put to sleep... two months later the man died. Jun just coldly said "Good. I'm glad." and went on with what she was doing...

 

Anyway... I rambled way too much. What I was trying to say is there are a large growing number of Chinese people who are becoming more willing to treat a pet as a family member. Though it still isn't really the cultural norm. The pet business is actually having huge growth in China now, and many purebred dogs sell for an insane amount of money (like US 6K for an AKC border collie). Though it seems they are also often seen as "status symbols" for the rich, and are treated like a diamond ring or new purse. Many Chinese people as others have said, have an image of dogs and cats as filthy animals, because in their experience they really are... strays and feral animals.

 

We passed another Chinese-American couple in Monterey while walking a golden retriever puppy. It took 2 bounds twoards them, and the Chinese girl shreiked like someone was peeling off her skin, jumped I shit you not 2 feet in the air, and hid behind her husband. He saved her by petting the foul beast and throwing its stick.

 

China is just so diverse... Any 4 of you could probably ask your SO if ____ is Chinese culture, one will say "yes" one will say "no" one will say the opposite is true, and one will say sometimes yes, sometimes no... and they are all correct.

Edited July 8, 2007 by Jeikun (see edit history)

[Guest knloregon]

Jason,

 

that last part is so true. Almost anything you say about

China has a counter-point that is equally true. As an example, those with a nationalist perspective can always cite crimes of the communists---and vice versa. But even in day to day living----so many widely opposed concepts with equal weight and validity.

 

Eating dog, and loving dog---just one eample. Fei, when she first came to America couldn't believe that squirrels would come into the yard, right up to the sliding glass door. "Ohh so qute!! Can you eat them??"

[Jeikun]

 

Eating dog, and loving dog---just one eample. Fei, when she first came to America couldn't believe that squirrels would come into the yard, right up to the sliding glass door. "Ohh so qute!! Can you eat them??"

 

Same thing with Jun and pidgeons. "I can make it into soup and just not tell dad where it came from!"

[Zachary And Lychee]

I was discussing this with my lady tonight, this is how it went... (keep in mind this is from two young bucks that have never been married before so it may seem naive)

 

 

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:13 AM):

well do you think a man should not marry a woman if she doesn't like animals?

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:13 AM):

or should he give up his animals

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:13 AM):

so he can marry her?

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:13 AM):

give up

·ÅÆú

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:13 AM):

i know

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:14 AM):

heheh

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:14 AM):

this is what they talk about

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:14 AM):

if you don't want to marry a woman just because she don't like animal

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:14 AM):

which is more important?

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:14 AM):

it is ¿ÉЦµÄ

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:14 AM):

should a woman put up with

v.

ÈÌÊÜ, ÈÝÈÌ

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:15 AM):

or should the man not marry the woman?

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:15 AM):

or should the man let the animal go?

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:15 AM):

if like that ~~this man just need to marry his pets itis ok

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:15 AM):

hahaha

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:15 AM):

hehe

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:15 AM):

i don't think it can choose

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:16 AM):

and i don't think it is a problem

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:16 AM):

if this woman want to marry you she don't care that

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:16 AM):

if she mind it ~~˵Ã÷Ëû °®Ëý

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:17 AM):

¾ÍÊǸúÎÒϲ»¶µçÄÔÒ»ÑùµÄ

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:17 AM):

it's the same with my love of computers

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:17 AM):

yes

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:17 AM):

i love you so i will love your computer

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:17 AM):

if she doesn't like computers, maybe she shouldn't marry me, but if she already married me, she should accept because she knows I do

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:18 AM):

if i can't so it ~~i don't marry you

[izus]

 

 

Others do it themselves

 

they better keep that tooth brush and tooth paste for only that cat

[izus]

I was discussing this with my lady tonight, this is how it went... (keep in mind this is from two young bucks that have never been married before so it may seem naive)

 

 

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:13 AM):

well do you think a man should not marry a woman if she doesn't like animals?

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:13 AM):

or should he give up his animals

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:13 AM):

so he can marry her?

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:13 AM):

give up

·ÅÆú

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:13 AM):

i know

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:14 AM):

heheh

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:14 AM):

this is what they talk about

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:14 AM):

if you don't want to marry a woman just because she don't like animal

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:14 AM):

which is more important?

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:14 AM):

it is ¿ÉЦµÄ

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:14 AM):

should a woman put up with

v.

ÈÌÊÜ, ÈÝÈÌ

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:15 AM):

or should the man not marry the woman?

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:15 AM):

or should the man let the animal go?

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:15 AM):

if like that ~~this man just need to marry his pets itis ok

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:15 AM):

hahaha

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:15 AM):

hehe

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:15 AM):

i don't think it can choose

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:16 AM):

and i don't think it is a problem

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:16 AM):

if this woman want to marry you she don't care that

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:16 AM):

if she mind it ~~˵Ã÷Ëû °®Ëý

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:17 AM):

¾ÍÊǸúÎÒϲ»¶µçÄÔÒ»ÑùµÄ

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:17 AM):

it's the same with my love of computers

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:17 AM):

yes

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:17 AM):

i love you so i will love your computer

ÍõÁè·å - Zachary says (4:17 AM):

if she doesn't like computers, maybe she shouldn't marry me, but if she already married me, she should accept because she knows I do

Lychee - ÇñÀöÖ¦ says (4:18 AM):

if i can't so it ~~i don't marry you

 

so did this happen right after you logged off of wow?

[Zachary And Lychee]

Haha I don't like WoW. The computers I'm referring to relate to my job. I'm a DBA/Programmer so I spend hours staring at code on a computer. I did specialize in game programming in college though... but in my previous relationship, it was too much for me to play 1 hour of games after spending 24 hours a day with my lady for the last 6 days. She was a sassy red head from Jersey though...

[hakkamike]

I am having the most difficult disagreement with my fiancee that I have ever had:

 

She saw me kiss my cat on the back of the neck the other night on video conference, and told me, "You kiss cat?! If you kiss your cat, you can NEVER kiss me!!"

 

I though she was joking, but we are now on day two of this.

 

She says that in China, no one kisses their pets.

 

She says in China everyone knows how dirty these animals are.

 

This is seemingly not a jealousy issue.

 

She claims it is a cultural one.

 

 

I just don't know what to do now. I wish to make her happy, but being affectionate with my pets is a deep part of who I am. I am an animal lover. I come from a family of animal lovers.

 

I even offered to always wash my face and mouth after kissing the cat and before kissing her, which is ridiculous, but I told her I was willing to do this if it would make her happy.

 

No go.

 

She still says, "You kiss cat, you never kiss me!"

 

Any ideas here people?

 

Is this a serious cultural taboo I don't know of?

 

Anyone have any experience with this situation?

As long as it was just a kiss, I see nothing wrong with it myself.