Looking for opinions

[I love Sunshine]

Here is the law.

Anything that you have, and can prove you had before the marriage remains soley yours after the marriage.

The co-ownership of property only begins after the marriage.

 

So, say you had 500,000 in a 401k. If you marry she does not get half of that 500,000 she would get half of any intrest that accrued on that 500,000.

 

Same way with all your other assets. They don't get automatic ownership of things you have before your married. a prenup just modifies what she can claim of things you gain after the marriage.

 

 

Please keep in mind that laws differ by state, and the general advice given here might differ in your state.

 

The burden of paperwork is on you. In other words, you must show a paper trail showing assets didn't get comingled. If you had a bank account with $500,000 in it prior to marriage, and you and her both used this as your joint account, you have comingled money, and she can claim half of it -- yes, even the money you had before being married. If you kept separate bank accounts, and didn't use anything in these accounts for community debts or community items, the advice given above is correct in common law states (mainly states in the western US). The paper trail is the key, and the burden is on you to show they are not comingled.

Edited April 19, 2007 by I love Sunshine (see edit history)

[agm]

I will take a slightly different perspective than the others have taken. I was married before to another girl from Asia and wished I had signed a prenup with her. (She was not Chinese).

 

First of all, your bride-to-be is coming to a new country and there is a rather big unknown associated with this. My ex changed dramatically after she came to the USA, and sadly this had an impact on the reasons for divorce. She a number of problems that didn't surface until after we were married. Also, it didn't help that she got close to a number of bitter divorcees who had married and came to the US, and were living comfortably on their divorce settlements.

 

Second of all, I was only slightly older than my ex, but very different in terms of our earning abilities. I was made painfully aware of this in divorce court how contribution into the marriage matters very little.

 

I have confidence that many women are not like my ex. Most women in China want love, not an escape from a bad previous life in her country like my ex wanted.

 

Prenups can be written in many different ways, and they are not "all or nothing" papers.

 

First, there can be a sunset clause in them; for example, saying that after 10 years of marriage, the prenup conditions are null and void. Or they can be removed in a gradual way.

 

Second, they can be written to protect your assets coming in to the marriage, not the assets you accumulate. So it gives you incentive to get rich together.

 

Third, they can protect assets you may want to pass on to your children from a previous marriage.

 

I know there will be others to disagree with my advice. It is a very uncomfortable subject to bring up. My SO offered to sign a prenup after seeing the pain involved with my divorce; this made me see that what she wanted in the relationship for the right reasons. I am not sure if we will eventually sign one, but her offer to sign one made me see that she is genuine.

 

 

Hello I love Sunshine

 

 

I agree with your opinion.

 

I wrote up a prenup. I explained to my wife about the purpose of the prenup is. The first, she had very difficult time to understand the concept of the prenup. However, after we checked a line by a line of contents of the prenup, she understood well.

 

Her impression of the prenup was that, mainly, to make sure of financial position of the starting point of the new life together.

 

agm

[Dennis143]

If you had a bank account with $500,000 in it prior to marriage, and you and her both used this as your joint account, you have comingled money, and she can claim half of it -- .

To take it a step further; say you have property and you borrow against it to pay for expenses (like trips to China for her) for the both of you, she may now have a case of co-mingling assets. This was told to me by a California family law attorney.

[ericeblack]

Most Chinese women are very realistic. They will understand the concept of a prenuptial. If they do not, you have some serious concerns.

[Randy W]

There is another concept to be aware of - that of "co-mingling". Anything that was yours prior to the marriage is yours, but if funds are co-mingled with your separate property, it becomes joint property.

 

That is, if you contribute from joint assets to a separate property, it becomes joint property and can be divided come divorce time.

 

Edit: Posted this from the first page before I had seen the above discussions

Edited April 20, 2007 by Randy W (see edit history)

[jim_julian]

Most Chinese women are very realistic. They will understand the concept of a prenuptial. If they do not, you have some serious concerns.

 

Amen.

[mchina34]

I agree with robert that it's a slap in the face. Why marry if you don't trust 'em? Of course some will say that's naive thinking.

 

In fact, the more money you have the easier it is for one to recover from the financial hurdles one faces during/after divorce.

 

However, if you met your wife on a site that is specifically 'looking for Americans', then I would agree that should ring some bells. Still, divorce rates for Shanghai (steretyped as the greedy city and the women), according to one Chinese article, only had about 15% divorce rate for multi-culture marriages. Compare that with the 50% (or more depending on your state) and no matter how you met your lao po, you are probably still safe, and much more safe than marrying an American.

[sawadee]

I would say if you want a prenup for the peace of mind, make a fair one: one also protect her interests. Cause she is the party to take the bigger chance to come to US, with all her family, friends, on the other side of the ocean. If any unhappy thing happen, she might suffer greater loss than you.