green hats and wedding rings

[izus]

whats up with the ring wearing and hat wearing culture differences...

i find it so hard for Chun to keep her ring on her finger, she wears it on all her fingers left hand...right hand all over the place.

 

i talked with her about what it meant if she would wear a green hat an walk down the street...i think it has different meanings from my understanding... someone here mentioned it on another post so i asked her....

she said it meant that if she would wear a green hat it means i cheated on her....

and if i wore a green hat it meant she cheated on me...

are there any other meanings besides this for green hat wearings?

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

whats up with the ring wearing and hat wearing culture differences...

i find it so hard for Chun to keep her ring on her finger, she wears it on all her fingers left hand...right hand all over the place.

 

i talked with her about what it meant if she would wear a green hat an walk down the street...i think it has different meanings from my understanding... someone here mentioned it on another post so i asked her....

she said it meant that if she would wear a green hat it means i cheated on her....

and if i wore a green hat it meant she cheated on me...

are there any other meanings besides this for green hat wearings?

206044[/snapback]

Chinese culture runs deep, and differs not only from province to province, but from city to city. Wedding dress and customs vary so much from town to town that there is no one way to intrepret the how-to, or why-for. What your SO tells you regarding her hometown is likely true however. Many younger people in China are opting for more of a Western flare. Personally, I love the old Chinese traditions.

[Dan R]

As for the wedding ring, there is no such custom for Chinese so they don't see the reason to wear it on a certain finger. We did not do a ring ceremony because she doesn't like the custom, neither of us likes to wear rings and as she said, "if you want to cheat you just take off ring so what use is it.? Trust and love are the only thing that really matters anyway.

 

As for green hats, I just checked her storage and she doesn't have one Nor do I ever want to give her any reason to get one.

[izus]

As for the wedding ring, there is no such custom for Chinese so they don't see the reason to wear it on a certain finger. We did not do a ring ceremony because she doesn't like the custom, neither of us likes to wear rings and as she said, "if you want to cheat you just take off ring so what use is it.? Trust and love are the only thing that really matters anyway.

 

As for green hats, I just checked her storage and she doesn't have one  Nor do I ever want to give her any reason to get one.

206053[/snapback]

so the green hat means cheating?

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

As for the wedding ring, there is no such custom for Chinese so they don't see the reason to wear it on a certain finger. We did not do a ring ceremony because she doesn't like the custom, neither of us likes to wear rings and as she said, "if you want to cheat you just take off ring so what use is it.? Trust and love are the only thing that really matters anyway.

 

As for green hats, I just checked her storage and she doesn't have one  Nor do I ever want to give her any reason to get one.

206053[/snapback]

so the green hat means cheating?

206060[/snapback]

Bill, you would have to talk to the local people of her town to find out definitively. Again, Chinese tradtions vary GREATLY from town to town and province to province. Here are a few shots I took at a wedding museum on my last trip to China that show some of the traditional dress and jewelry for Guizhou only.

 

http://i1.tinypic.com/v6i0s9.jpg

http://i1.tinypic.com/v6i0xd.jpg

http://i1.tinypic.com/v6i0yq.jpg

http://i1.tinypic.com/v6i15e.jpg

[izus]

As for the wedding ring, there is no such custom for Chinese so they don't see the reason to wear it on a certain finger. We did not do a ring ceremony because she doesn't like the custom, neither of us likes to wear rings and as she said, "if you want to cheat you just take off ring so what use is it.? Trust and love are the only thing that really matters anyway.

 

As for green hats, I just checked her storage and she doesn't have one  Nor do I ever want to give her any reason to get one.

206053[/snapback]

so the green hat means cheating?

206060[/snapback]

Bill, you would have to talk to the local people of her town to find out definitively. Again, Chinese tradtions vary GREATLY from town to town and province to province. Here are a few shots I took at a wedding museum on my last trip to China that show some of the traditional dress and jewelry for Guizhou only.

 

http://i1.tinypic.com/v6i0s9.jpg

http://i1.tinypic.com/v6i0xd.jpg

http://i1.tinypic.com/v6i0yq.jpg

http://i1.tinypic.com/v6i15e.jpg

206064[/snapback]

shes lives in beijing...

dont get me wrong im not quetsioning her tradiotions and thoughts i was just curious on if the green hats meant other things as well...

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

shes lives in beijing...

dont get me wrong im not quetsioning her tradiotions and thoughts i was just curious on if the green hats meant other things as well...

206090[/snapback]

Maybe she want's you to trust her.....

Cross-cultural Advice

 

  1. When enjoying a Chinese banquet with your Chinese friends, never stick your chopsticks upright in your rice bowl. This is the sign used at funerals. It is a tradition that the host or your neighbor will continue to fill your glass during meals.

 

  2. Never give a clock or a green hat as the gift. The word for clock in Mandarin sounds like the word for death, therefore clocks are regarded as unlucky and will do nothing for your friendship. Green hats are not a good gift as wearing a green hat indicates that there is a problem with his/her marriage.

 

  3. The number four in Chinese numerology is regarded as very unlucky, as it sounds also like the word death. The number eight is regarded as very lucky. This word sounds similar to the expression for making a lot of money.

 

  4. Chinese names place the family name first and the given or first name second. For example in the name Zhang Yi-heng, Zhang is the family name and Yi-heng is given name.

 

  5. Handshakes are a Western greeting imported into China. Traditional Chinese may not be completely comfortable with it. More often than not, handshakes in China are soft and limp, but this should not be taken as a reflection of the person.

 

  6. Colors in China may have different meanings. Red was traditionally associated with emperor or royal family and more recently the communist party. It is still now the symbol of wealth, success and happiness. Red is the typical color for a wedding. White and Black are typically associated with funerals, so they are to be avoided. Never wear green hats, or your marriage will be in question.

Edited April 11, 2006 by ShaQuaNew (see edit history)

[LeeFisher3]

The original comparison I made with the ring and hat are mainly symbolic based on US and Chinese culture. The question was concerning the Chinese custom of wearing the wedding ring on any finger and randomly changing.

 

Some in the US take a more traditional view of wearing a wedding ring, based on Western culture, and the moving of the ring to different fingers can be seen to send a signal not intended.

 

This is definitely not something to make into a big issue, because it isn't. What is important is for both of you to help each other to understand the cultural differences between the two countries, not to change someone, but to help in adjusting to cultural differences.

 

From what my wife has said the book written by tywy_99's wife is really helpful for her to understand the comparative differences she will face in American society. Now if we could just get it translated to English so us stupid men would have a better understanding.

[izus]

The original comparison I made with the ring and hat are mainly symbolic based on US and Chinese culture. The question was concerning the Chinese custom of wearing the wedding ring on any finger and randomly changing.

 

Some in the US take a more traditional view of wearing a wedding ring, based on Western culture, and the moving of the ring to different fingers can be seen to send a signal not intended.

 

This is definitely not something to make into a big issue, because it isn't. What is important is for both of you to help each other to understand the cultural differences between the two countries, not to change someone, but to help in adjusting to cultural differences.

 

From what my wife has said the book written by tywy_99's wife is really helpful for her to understand the comparative differences she will face in American society. Now if we could just get it translated to English so us stupid men would have a better understanding.

206098[/snapback]

i have tried to explain to her the importance of my ring writing poetry about it and so forth, the significance of that little rock set in metal. kinda silly i suppose.

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

i have tried to explain to her the importance of my ring writing poetry about it and so forth, the significance of that little rock set in metal. kinda silly i suppose.

206101[/snapback]

Not silly in the least. So, Bill, when is she coming?

[izus]

i have tried to explain to her the importance of my ring writing poetry about it and so forth, the significance of that little rock set in metal. kinda silly i suppose.

206101[/snapback]

Not silly in the least. So, Bill, when is she coming?

206105[/snapback]

38 days... May19

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

i have tried to explain to her the importance of my ring writing poetry about it and so forth, the significance of that little rock set in metal. kinda silly i suppose.

206101[/snapback]

Not silly in the least. So, Bill, when is she coming?

206105[/snapback]

38 days... May19

206115[/snapback]

Sounds wonderful. I'm sure you're excited. Be sure to keep in touch so that we all can have a get-together with our southeastern region....

[izus]

This little ring

My life line while we are apart

This little ring

My soul, my conscience, my heart

This little ring

The answer to my prayer

This little ring

My heart to you I do swear

This little ring

Everything I hold true

This little ring

My life that revolves around you

This little ring

Our future that it does hold

This little ring

Just waiting to be told

This little ring

My undying commitment to you

This little ring

Nothing but my all that is due

This little ring

To see that smile that makes my heart sing

This little ring

Could only come from my One Special Spring

 

i love you ChunYan

[warpedbored]

As I understand it there is a saying in China that when a woman is out looking for a man to fool around with she "has her green hat on" The way the analogy started here on CFL was I told my wife that in America if a married woman doesn't wear her wedding ring then people will think she has her green hat on. She wears it all the time now.

[izus]

As I understand it there is a saying in China that when a woman is out looking for a man to fool around with she "has her green hat on" The way the analogy started here on CFL was I told my wife that in America if a  married woman doesn't wear her wedding ring then people will think she has her green hat on.  She wears it all the time now.

206191[/snapback]

see so i guess theres a different meaning...

i think that was the meaning that was first mentioned the other day by Lee...

so i brought it back to Chunyan and she said thats not very nice of him to say that

i was like he didnt mean anything....

she said well if i wore a green hat it meant that you cheated on me.