david_dawei Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 Hi Paula, It was nice to hear that your gg is a patient man and was ready to wait 2 years at first... that shows a lot of committment to you, yes? But I'm sure (like all of us) your dealing with having to be apart instead of together. Your first post said some nice words about two working together and living together everyday. If you are both prone to be angry, you should ask youself, why and what's so important about the issue... if it has to do with your man, then you should realize that your probably not going to change him too much by arguing. And if your expecting something from him, try to talk without letting it get hurtful or harsh words. In an argument, someone has to have the courage to take a step out of it, even if you feel like your not understood. You can come back to the discussion later. The equality issue is interesting.. Each person and each couple have their own way of building a relationship.. so he likes you to be more equal. You can discuss with him what you think... Ask him why he likes this equality. He may not understand your feelings or what your accustomed to in China and how you view a man and woman's role. Share with him how you feel. For me, at first, I tried to get Zixuan to be more equal, but it was clear to me that she is not happy to be forced to do something unnatural. SO I accept and respect the role she wants. If she says, "I listen to you", I know she wants me to make the decision. Sometimes, I will tell her that I want her advice. It is nice your husband is patriotic.. as I am sure you feel very good about China. Just be care not to make this issues more important then getting along, showing respect and love for each other. If he was willing to get the item for you, despite how he feels about it, I would say that was very good of him. He can compromise and he can put your first, above the issue. Keep the two of you the most important issue.... Best to you two. Link to comment
BuffaloPaul Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 Hi men, Thanks all for your response. Yes, I totally understand how hard we are dealing with visa issue but we all know our waiting will be worthwhile because we married a wonderful person My husband is very sweet guy and loves me with his heart. I have to admit that I am a very spoiled woman and demanding sometimes. I need all his attention like a baby girl. I am sorry almost every month( because of my period) I gave my husband hard time. Luckly he can understand me and tried his best to comfort me. I have bad temper, so does my husband. Sometime we had arguments badly. I chated to some ladys on 001 and was very surprised to find they never had argument or quarrels with their fiances or husbands. I think it is abnormal. Maybe because their english is not good enough? or they just want to please their men all times? Another question is why american guys focus on love equality? My husband always said we need be equal, but when I first knew him I told him I need his love more because I am his woman Women is weak somehow and need her men more love and attention. Now my love deal with my husband is 60%---40%---60% that means he loves me 60%, I love him 40% and then I will give him another 60% in return. see our love is 120% now My husband seems very patriotic. I like Lancom facial lotions, but he always asked me to find another brand lotions, because he said French betrayed american in both world wars, and he doesn't like french at all. B) very very stubborn guy. He told me he never drive French cars, not becuase cars quality is not good, just because they have French brands. I tried american brand lotions he bought me, but it didnt work well. Every time I had to spend long time asking him to buy lancome for me Finally he got what I want but he always said he did it just for me even though he didnt like to do it. How about you guys here? Hi Paula, Sounds like you and your GG have a relationship similar to me and my MM. We both love our country and argued about this the first time we met. Now we understand each others love of country and try not to say anything bad. I am also a patient man like your GG, but my MM is not very patient. She was upset about the visa process at first because she did not think there was any order to it. She was too afraid of not getting the visa. But she has spent much time on 001 and now realizes that the process is fairly predicatable and everyone that keeps trying gets their visa. She is also very spoiled and wants more of my love. American women have demanded this equality that you speak of. I think my ex-wife wanted to be in charge 100% of the time. As for the French, I think of them the samy way some Chinese think of the Japanese (even though my ancesters were all from France) I do not like them either and refuse to buy their products. Link to comment
david_dawei Posted April 30, 2005 Report Share Posted April 30, 2005 I do not like them either and refuse to buy their products. Seriously? wow... Two strikes against the french... I cannot imagine hold a grudge against a race.. I'm not trying to get personal, but this really surprises me to hear people talk like this. Otherwise where's our dream for utopia, where all people are part of one family.. and even where the wolf and goat will get along... maybe even the sheep and goat debate ends! Link to comment
Guest aosnow Posted May 1, 2005 Report Share Posted May 1, 2005 when did French become a race as opposed to a nationality? Link to comment
david_dawei Posted May 1, 2005 Report Share Posted May 1, 2005 when did French become a race as opposed to a nationality?Webster's II: race: A body of people united by a common history or nationality <the Spanish race> Link to comment
Guest aosnow Posted May 1, 2005 Report Share Posted May 1, 2005 na·tion·al·i·ty ( P ) Pronunciation Key (nsh-nl-t, nsh-nl-)n. pl. na·tion·al·i·ties The status of belonging to a particular nation by origin, birth, or naturalization. A people having common origins or traditions and often constituting a nation. Existence as a politically autonomous entity; national independence. National character. Nationalism. which is closer? Link to comment
david_dawei Posted May 1, 2005 Report Share Posted May 1, 2005 closer doesn't matter if both are permitted and the point is understood... I'm not writing a technical nor legal document. I'm probably lucky I spelled it correctly... unless you want to 'ding' me for the lower case use... Link to comment
Guest aosnow Posted May 1, 2005 Report Share Posted May 1, 2005 no ding intended.Perhaps I was being hypertechnical because, in the law, race and nationality are quite distinct. Link to comment
david_dawei Posted May 1, 2005 Report Share Posted May 1, 2005 no ding intended.Perhaps I was being hypertechnical because, in the law, race and nationality are quite distinct.That's actually very interesting... Link to comment
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