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  1. I meet Chinese women almost weekly who've overstayed. When I first meet the woman, I can almost size up her profile just by her age... Most are in their thirties. They leave a teenage child behind in China to be cared for by the child's grandparents. These women may or may not be married and are usually mum or coy about saying whether they are or not. They overcame a sense of hopelessness after their husband’s divorced or abandoned them for another woman. Job opportunities in China are few. Remarrying ‘UP’ is unlikely. Remarrying at all is daunting. And, they know it is difficult and sometimes risky to find a west man through the internet. They also know that if their feet can get on US soil they’ll have a world of opportunities available to them that they’d never have by staying in China. Then there are some overstayed women who are married and their husband’s finance them while the women establish themselves here. These women and these relationships puzzle me. They seem to have little contact with their husbands. Years may pass without seeing each other. The women will frequently QQ with their child, yet I will seldom hear them mention their husbands. Although not rich, they seem to have enough money for the necessities of an apartment, car and sometimes travel without having to work long hours in the Chinese community or work at all. I’m guessing that their husband’s are rich enough to afford to send their wife away while they play…but, that’s just a guess. One thing most of these women have in common is, once here, their desire to stay and live out their lives here. Even with a GC, most will chose to remain here to live while making annual trips back to China for visits. Many have dreams of their child attending a US university. Seldom does that dream come true. Women in China know there is no deportation threat by overstaying. They all know they are free to live here, go to school, graduate, get a drivers license, buy and drive a car, own a home... So, they apply for a visa. Work visas are limited. From my experience, most arrive here on a tourist visa. Once here they work in the Chinese underground economy. The jobs available to them are nanny, elderly care, cleaning homes, working in restaurants, and massage. There are few options but to work for a Chinese boss who'll expect them to work 12-on 12-off, 7 days a week. I believe that INS prefers that these women adjust their status and become legal. Yet, it's not so easy. Immigration court is an adversary. If these women feel confident that they overstayed for good reason they’ll hire an immigration attorney who will file for AOS and then represent them in immigration court. Those are usually women who arrived on a fiancé visa. Those women have little recourse but to claim they were abused in order to gain legal status. Many who try to scam the system again fail. Those who have a legitimate case pass. Meaning, those who appear before immigration court with a lawyer and a convincing case will often be given the benefit of the doubt. The letter of the immigration law is simply left to the mercy of an immigration judge to decide if the person overstayed for good reason. As in most court cases, it is up to the judge to decide if the testimony is the truth or not. If they do not have a legal case, their only recourse for a GC is to marry a USC. These women tell me they simply want a good man to love them. If the man is a good man they will stay to love and care for him. I have helped many ladies join internet dating sites like Match.com. Some have married. Some have married Chinese men. And, some have married American men. All of them seem to have a happy and contented married life here now. At least, the couples that I have heard through our network of friends have all turned into positive marriages and the couples whom I know and keep in contact with personally too. There are obvious courtship advantages with both persons already here on US soil that one cannot have separated by an ocean, continent and culture. These are simply my antidotal experience from years living among the Chinese community here in Los Angeles. Nothing I say is gospel… simply my opinion. I would appreciate David_D's take on this (as well as other men) who have lived within and among Chinese here in the US.
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