DennisLeiqin
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Posts posted by DennisLeiqin
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Seems like the cruise persons would have answers to these questions.
Sounds like life is good for you David... nice to read just a bit of an update.
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Poor bugger, it looks like he should have left out the A.
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I've been thinking about this and realize living within and among the largest US Chinese community, we have available just about everything and anything you'd want or get in China.Saw this catalog today when having lunch with my wife. Seems a good source for supplements, beauty supplies, and appliances.
Leiqin goes to the Chinese herbalist ~ once a month to buy her special herbs and medicines. Stores here have Wisconsin and Korean ginsing by the barrel.
Point is, if anyone wants to send us a list of things you need that you must have and can't find where you live, send me a PM (in Chinese OK) and we'll purchase and mail it to you... prepaid (within reason).
Or PM me with your phone number and I'll have Leiqin call and talk to your wife about her needs.
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Hi Hank, Fostering a Chinese student is a popular way to supplement income here in SoCal. Chinese prefer their child stay with an English speaking family.
Most often the school that he's attending would file for the students I20 (student visa) and once approved send to the student. Check with his school. They will have all the answers to your questions.
Good luck and don't let him stay up all night on QQ chatting with his friends back in China.
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The charger OUTPUT: 5V-2000mAThe figures show you can charge three at those power requirements without increasing the charge time.
Gotta question this - wouldn't you need to know the current requirements for the charging?
The specs he gave are for the hub only.
So, yes, what is he charging?
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Congratulations, Dan... now don't let it go to your head.
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A penny doesn't buy much or anything in the US anymore. Watched some TV show recently that said how it cost more to make a penny than a penny is intrinsically worth.
Yet, those pennys are valuable to many in the world. I remember my first trip to China, I paid one Yuan for a pedal cab. The Yuan was worth the equivalent of 12-1/2 cents back then. Made me think how that 1/2cent was probably important to my 'driver'.
We have coin offerings at our church. Those coins are collected and given to World Visions who uses the money to feed those displaced by the Haiti earthquake. $100 will feed 2000 meals.
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Nice... I will use that story too, from time to time.
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"To the moon, Alice..."
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Darn it, the music drowned out CC's speech.
Cripes, and I wanted to hear it!
Still...congratulations Lee and CC.
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A young woman with a soiled infant strapped to her back rummaging through trash.
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Leiqin asked me this just recently too. Whether a large group or just us, we'd sure like to see you and Ling again, Mike.time for a so cal get together ?
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Got me back...good laugh!!I don't know nuthin' about rithmetic and diets...and I assume you already know about the sleep studies by professionals, if you are talkin' about SA. Overweight is not the only cause of SA, it is a cause though. If you haven't taken a sleep study please listen to what Dennis says.
I too sleep with a CPAP, sorta awkward at first with love makin' but now when I put on my mask, the wife puts on a mask too....usually a Chairman Mao or (my personal favorite) a Richard Nixon mask and we have at it like wild dawgs in heat.
Dennis, do you know where I can get a pair of readin' glasses that will fit over a CPAP mask? The VA gave me all the SA stuff but after all the hot n' sweaty, and holdin' each other durin' the afterglo stuff I like to wind down with readin' me some Clive Cussler, etc before slippin' off to PTSD nightmare land.
Good luck with the diet and a Chinese wife buddy.
tsap seui
Depends on your mask. I use a Mirage Ultra Nasal mask and have learned that I can keep my glasses on, under my mask, while I watch TV.
Yeah, wearin' a CPAP ain't the sexiest bedtime thing, but kinda wish I had brought it with me on my first trip to China. I do believe that after hearing me snore, that young lady realized what a lifetime of torture awaited her if she decided to immigrate with me.
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Chinese have a difficult time understanding the differences between carbs and protein. They have this (assumed urban legend) idea that Americans are fat because we eat too much meat. Problem is, when Chinese continue to eat their diets high in rice and noodles and become sedate like most Americans, diabetes often becomes a problem. I know several Chinese who've developed diabetes since living here.Does anyone have the overview or the basics of the Atkin's Diet in Chinese? I am finding it difficult to explain the diet to my wife. Right now to her the diet sounds like a sin and she forbids to stop eating rice! I would really like her to have a better understanding of the diet. Twice I have lost 30 lbs on this diet at different times of my life. (This time the doctor said if I lose 30 lbs I will be able to overcome sleep apnea, thus the importance.)
Sorry, but you're going to need another Chinese who understands how our bodies coverts excess carbs into sugar and that excess sugar is then stored as fat. My wife took a nutrition class given in Chinese by the county health dept where she learned about carbs and protein...still, she can't give up her rice and noodles.
I have sleep apnea and sleep with a CPAP. Please insist that your doctor prescribe a sleep study. Snoring and sleep disorders cause a lack of oxygen to your blood. Your heart must work hard to supply oxygen thus potentially shortening life. Apnea is a serious problem, yet easily treated without medication or surgery. Get that sleep study!
Good luck.
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Good luck. Hope you find her a 'keeper' too. You know where the blame lies if he turns out to have flaws like most of us men have.We just returned from China and a month of happiness for Lao po and for me feeling like a mushroom...bored outta my skin. But while there I enjoyed our 29 yoa niece's company several times. She talked Lao po into helping her find a Western man to become friends with. Of course the job was delegated to me. (aka the big mushroom). As for the niece she's got a great personality and a lot of fun, a real keeper. She runs the family business, is a college grad and began law school. She is very musical and at karaoke she sings like, Celine Dion. She likes to travel and is adventurous when she can take off the business woman hat. Her English is fair but with a couple months immersion she'd be fluent. I'm thinking about Asian Friend Finder if I must be her go between/filter...I just don't see how this will be any fun for Lao gon.
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I do believe that within our large circle of Chinese friends giving and sharing is now common practice which was once seldom done. Most are eager to learn of the western/Christian way of giving and sharing without expecting anything in return that goes to our foundation of Do Unto Others...
Sadly, it's difficult, one must keep your guard up and be wary of those newly arrived who have not adjusted to the ways of the west. As, they will very likely try to use you and drain you of your good will.
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First thought was that's one way to extract some teeth.Soon to come...... Fight at the dentist office. The Dentist almost punched out a paient.... (No not me).
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Nate's post made me think about my original foray into bringing her and her daughter here...It probably wasn't that the marriage was more important than being together for her...it was that marriage represented the guarantee of future security.
I could write books and books and books about what I understand of the female mind, and the way it plays out in Chinese culture (in my opinion, men and women are extremely different in thoughts, emotions, motivations, etc...all women are the same, but the culture a person grows up in filters the way it is expressed...your culture tells you what behavior is acceptable, tells you *how* to achieve what you want).
One of the other points about it not being a binary choice is that it isn't just "She loves me and we will be happy forever" or "She is using me and doesn't love me."
Love and trust grow over time.
Everything you say and do either (and everything she says and does) either increases love and trust, or decreases them.
That's why you can get away with arguments and problems in your 40th year of marriage that you can't the day after you met.
So if you love her, you should be doing things that show her who you are, that she can trust you to do what you said you will. And you should be looking for indications of her character, her emotional reaction to different things, the way she releases emotional pressure, etc. It's hard, because EVERYONE puts on their best face early in the relationship.
Both men and women complain about the things that get dropped after you settle in to the relationship. Women complain about not getting the romance anymore. Men complain about not getting the sexual stuff anymore. (Crudely: I've heard dozens of men repeat this as if it were a fact: "when the marriage starts, the bjs stop")
So, basically, women are hypergamous. They want a man who is at least a little bit smarter, taller, more successful, richer. Women also think about a marriage as getting help in life. They want someone to help out around the house, help raise the kids, help earn money for a better life and retirement, take care of the lawn, and squish bugs. Women marry to improve their lot in life.
Chinese women marry because there is intense social pressure for them to marry and have children. If a woman makes it to spinster age (35 and unmarried), their mother WILL arrange a marriage for them. My wife had to beg her mom to hold off a year until she saw whether I would follow through on marriage or not. (Her parents love me...in no small part because they are grateful that she found a husband who loves her AND respects them AND supports her putting a high priority on taking care of them).
Also for Chinese women, regardless of your financial situation, getting to come to the US fulfills her hypergamous urge. Coming to the US puts her in a top class of Chinese women, better than the hundreds of millions that are stuck in small town, small cities, or the lowest economic rungs of the big cities. (plus, she probably doesn't have the capacity to understand exactly what your financial situation is...we tell them about mortgages and car loans and its almost like they don't hear it, because willingly and unconcernedly carrying debt loads like that don't compute for them...I think it is an instinctual cultural assumption that a Chinese man wouldn't even look for a wife until his debt was gone...this American man is looking for a wife, therefore he must not really have any debt he can't pay off immediately)
Because you already talked about marriage so much, when you suddenly started talking about being together and NOT marrying, you damaged the trust. From her perspective, you were not following through on your promises. You showed her you were not trustworthy anymore.
Because it isn't a binary choice, and because trust and love build over time, playing games like testing her to find out whether "marriage" or "being together" is more important too often creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. The obsession with "red flags" or "warning signs" usually does that.
Humans aren't perfect. If you go looking for problems, you'll almost always find them. If you start to suspect her commitment, she'll start to suspect yours, and that never ends well.
Most of the trainwrecks of marriage that have been detailed in the breakup/problem section of Candle For Love could have been avoided if there had been more patience and more understanding at a crucial time. The problem is, it is very difficult to identify the crucial time. Most of the trainwrecks occurred years after the wrong choice was made...the problem festered out of sight...by the time it manifested, it was too late.
I'm sorry yours fell apart. If you try to get back together, remember that in her mind, this is all your fault for being untrustworthy. You will just about have to crawl across broken glass to get her to trust you again. If you aren't willing to go farther than you think is necessary to convince her of your sincerity, don't even try.
Always an interesting question; if I could do it over, how would it be done differently?
Although I am happy with the outcome and I have a good wife and marriage today, I sometimes wonder how things might have been today had my former SO and I not parted ways and I brought her and her daughter to America to be with me.
I doubt that I would have done anything different. I am who I am. I have learned a long time ago to be wary. I fell off that turnip truck, oh….round about 1970.
After traveling to meet her, exchanging rings and going off on a honeymoon - all in a matter of the first few days of arriving in Nanning - I remained skeptical. I kept asking how could this younger, (22 years younger than I) woman could love someone whom she didn’t know and could barely talk to. WTF? Was this some weird dream that I had entered? One moment I’m hunkered down, alone with my computer and in a seeming instant I am transported to Yangshoe, China with this woman who calls me her husband. OK. I go along for the ride….for the adventure.
After returning home, I continued to ask her ‘why does she love me?’ Today, I realize that love, as we know it, doesn’t always figure into the equation for a Chinese woman. To my good and naïve fortune, however, I did not know this and continued to ask and question her, even when she continued to assure me and tell me to ‘just believe’ and have faith.
It is not such a thin line that one must tread to choose to either throw ourselves in, head first, helter skelter to staying wary of red flags and questioning constantly. Yet, the question IS: were my constant questions warning flags for her that I was an untrusting and suspicious man, as she once wondered? Or, had I not questioned her would we be together today and would we have been happy together now? Who knows? Yet, I think this is the dilemma that many of us face when we venture down this road.
I still don’t have answers. Does one throw the dice and go at it with blind faith and hope for the best? Or, does one become an inquisitioner with the hope to find what lurks behind and underneath the soul of this exotic person who cannot talk to me and will forever be an enigma and run the risk of making her high tail herself as far away from me as humanly possible?
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My rhetorical post wasn't meant for anyone in particular.'Wow, dern, damn, she will sleep with me? I had best try to keep her. I may never find another one like her.'
She committed herself when she slepted with him, unsure if he knows what that means to her. I understand his position, singel parent, three kids at home, it's not like he can just pick-up and go and live in China, travel yes. I hope he's able to re-connect with her.
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Awesome!...such varied comments and questions...makes me wonder what Americans would want to ask Chinese...What Does Ordinary Chinese People Want to Ask America
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'Wow, dern, damn, she will sleep with me? I had best try to keep her. I may never find another one like her.'
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Absolutely correct. But, do you ever get snide comments from men? Only time I did was while in GZ and those comments came from rural men working in GZ. My thought was then and after reading this article that those men who see us with 'their women' sometimes take it out on us easy targets, regardless whether the woman I am with is a thirty-something divorcee. But again, just a thought...From my experiences both in China and among the Chinese community here is SoCal, I find that white skin and European ancestry is viewed with high esteem by many...especially women. Therein lies the animosity among many Chinese men. Sure, those men with wives get caught up in wanting to get their picture taken with the white guy too. But, for single men to see their women swoon and coo over western men whom western women would not give a second glance is no doubt disheartening. Especially disheartening to men who are desperate to find a loving wife amidst slim pickings, especially if those men from the countryside and are city workers laboring for a pittance for a wage and feel hopeless in attracting a spouse.
Can you imagine if the circumstance were reversed and us poor Yanks were watching our ladies swoon over old, ugly fat Chinese dudes?
You have to realize, though, Dennis, that most of our others are divorced (and some with children) which makes them less desirable to these men. If they are "desperate", why would they be so picky?
My wife said that she had had several marriage proposals after her divorce (and one child), but from what I see here, that's unusual.
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From my experiences both in China and among the Chinese community here in SoCal, I find that white skin and European ancestry is viewed with high esteem by many...especially women. Therein lies the animosity among many Chinese men. Sure, those men with wives get caught up in wanting to get their picture taken with the white guy too. But, for single men to see their women swoon and coo over western men whom western women would not give a second glance is no doubt disheartening. Especially disheartening to men who are desperate to find a loving wife amidst slim pickings, especially if those men from the countryside and are city workers laboring for a pittance for a wage and feel hopeless in attracting a spouse.
Can you imagine if the circumstance were reversed and us poor Yanks were watching our ladies swoon over old, ugly fat Chinese dudes?
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If the woman isn’t as concerned with the USC’s character, income, values etc as he is with hers, then the USC should be asking himself; why isn’t she?
Best way to learn Chinese?
in Culture & Language Discussion
Posted
For awhile I tried to learn one new Chinese phrase each week. I'd repeat it over and over. I'd write it down in pin yin and in phonetic sounds and carry it with me. I'd practice on every Chinese I knew (found out that depending on where they're from they might have a different pronunciation, so I usually would stick with the South China sound of my wife). I now am proficient with ~50 common phrases. Problem is that I don't have a working vocabulary like 2mike&jin where I can sting words together to make a sentence.
Volunteer teaching ESL to Chinese I notice that the students tend to have difficulty putting words together to make a sentence. I've suggested that they too learn a phrase a week... "May I use your restroom? How much does this cost? What is your name? I am happy to meet you. I live in Alhambra... " Seems to help them excel