PhoenixRising
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Posts posted by PhoenixRising
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Home is what you make of it be it in the US, China or England. China is nice for visting areas where you may only visited in history books. Remember the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence until you get there.
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I went through 3 hurricanes and I can tell you they ain't no fun. How do you move a million people and where do they all go? We hada hard time moving a 100k out of New Orleans 4 years ago.
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The Constitution of the United States is one of the greatest documents ever written for all mankind. Some how we have drifted away from some these tennents the last 80 years or so. Especially the last 8 years.
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I see that some of the posts I wrote have been edited. I am not sorry what so ever that I trumped an Ace from a very superficial person on his comments. We live in America the land of the free. This is a little bit of info that helped make our country and the envy of the world.
1. Freedom of speech and expression
2. Freedom of every person to worship God in his own way everywhere in the world.
3. Freedom from want.
4. Freedom from fear.
If this post is edited and you claim yourself to be an American. Please turn your birth certificate in. Only a traitor to the USA would edit these hallowed words!
God Bless America!
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We all know how expensive medical treatment is here in the USA. I need some dental work. My SO tells me that denistry in China is so much less then America. She was told by an American man that he saved over $3,000 on his dental work in China compared to the US. My dental work is not this extensive fortunately for me. I need two crowns put on. It hell to get old.
My question to her is: What kind of treatement can you expect in China. Has anyone had a dental experience in China?
PR,
I only have a short time before I go back to work. However, I agree wholeheartedly with Jim_ Julian, in response posts.
I will make a post later concerning the dental care in China vs the US. I will tell you this much. Dentists in US came up with a cure for my wife at the estimated cost $10,000. Their cure wouldn't have even solved the the disease. They were treating the symptoms and taking cash to boot!
I promise I will post later. The care that my wife received changed my mind forever.
Dave
Yes let me know Dave because I want Mom and daughter to have teeth checked out when here, might do it there before we leave. But daughter will need to see a dentist before she can go to school here anyway? We also have a new Chinese medical college here in Illinois might check it out, good day at work man!
You mean to tell me the American Medical profession would do such a thing to their patients? Hell yes they would! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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We all know how expensive medical treatment is here in the USA. I need some dental work. My SO tells me that denistry in China is so much less then America. She was told by an American man that he saved over $3,000 on his dental work in China compared to the US. My dental work is not this extensive fortunately for me. I need two crowns put on. It hell to get old.
My question to her is: What kind of treatement can you expect in China. Has anyone had a dental experience in China?
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Our interview is a few days away and in a heated argument my wife tore up our NOA which is needed for the AOS interview. Whether or not she decides to make amends, did this just dramatically hurt our case? This was nearly 2 years of hard work to approach this moment, and now it's in shreds.
Sounds like someone needs a anger management course.
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Pumpkin Spiced Pancakes
Serves two
Pecan Syrup:
1 cup maple-flavored pancake syrup
5 tablespoons pecans, toasted and chopped
Pancakes:
1 cup buttermilk pancake mix
1 cup cold water
1/3 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
Nonstick vegetable cooking spray
Butter, room temperature
Pecan Syrup Preparation:
Combine maple syrup and pecans in small microwave-safe bowl. Heat in microwave on high until hot, about 25 seconds. Set pecan syrup aside and keep warm.
Pancake Preparation:
In a medium bowl, whisk pancake mix, water, pumpkin, cinnamon, and ginger until just blended (do not over mix; mixture should be lumpy).
Spray a heavy griddle with nonstick spray and heat griddle over medium heat. Spoon 2 tablespoons of batter onto griddle to form each pancake. Cook for 2 minutes or until bubbles appear, then turn pancakes over and cook for 2 minutes longer. Transfer pancakes to plates. Top with butter and serve with warm pecan syrup.
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My SO's daughter will be graduating college in 2009. She is now indicating that she would like to live in the USA as a LPR. I explained to my SO that her daughter will be over 21 when she graduates from school and it will be very difficult for her to gain entry in the US. It may take 5-10 years before being approved.
She tells me she understands this. I was also told by a Chinese woman that where Mama goes so goes the child. I do not want this to become a problem for us. Children are thickerer then Marriage in most cases. Her daughter is a very sharp kid. She has a good personality and wants to achieve things in life.
Since she may want to come to the USA to live and work is there some sort of a work visa she can obtain?
It isn't clear to me how you feel about this (do you feel it will be a problem for your marriage if she comes to the U.S.?), but couldn't she finish college in the U.S.? Seems to me, if that is possible, it would solve the 10 - 15 year wait issue and allow her to go post-grad here in the U.S. anyway. She'd better hurry though; the clock is ticking.
If it were me and I was determined to be here in the States, I would eat any additional classes, proceed with college and then go for the post-grad degree. Best of both worlds?
I have no objection to her coming here to the US and finishing her degree. However she wishes to graduate in China. Maybe she can come here later go for her masters. That maybe the ticket here.
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My SO's daughter will be graduating college in 2009. She is now indicating that she would like to live in the USA as a LPR. I explained to my SO that her daughter will be over 21 when she graduates from school and it will be very difficult for her to gain entry in the US. It may take 5-10 years before being approved.
She tells me she understands this. I was also told by a Chinese woman that where Mama goes so goes the child. I do not want this to become a problem for us. Children are thickerer then Marriage in most cases. Her daughter is a very sharp kid. She has a good personality and wants to achieve things in life.
Since she may want to come to the USA to live and work is there some sort of a work visa she can obtain?
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I saw plenty of Puer tea at the Kam Man Market in Quincy, MA (near Boston) today. The cake type from Yunnan costs $5.99.
It's important to know how to identify genuine Pu'er. Brick tea from the foothills of the Himalayas can have toxic levels of flouride due to run-off from the mountains. Flourosis is common in that area. This isn't a problem with Pu'er tea, which is by definition from Yunnan. It's also handy to know how to identify Pu'er as counterfeiting is very common in China; cheap brick teas are often sold as Pu'er when they aren't even close in content or quality. Ask your vendor for a copy of the O.T.R.D.C. (Organic Tea Research and Development Center) Certificate that assures compliance with organic farming, processing and handling standards (THREE separate certificates!). The sanctions against conterfeiting those compliance certificates are severe; tea is serious business in China and no sane person would fake compliance.
If the tea you are describing is in bing (round cake) form, I can almost guarantee that it isn't genuine. You are talking a retail price somewhere in the neighborhood of 44 to 45 RMB. Almost impossible to imagine when international surface freight charges alone can run 10 to 15 RMB per cake. Factor in other expenses and you can see how unlikely this is...
Beware conterfeit tea. There are several million people in China (and the rest of the world) who would be happy to take your money in exchange for something that isn't real.
This type of tea would help eliminate tooth decay. But as we should all know you get what you pay for.
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Being in singledom for as long as you have been. You may wish to take a refresher course in Pre-Cannae on how not to so independent. I was divorced for many years also before getting remarried. The second marriage I had ended in a divorce also. When I was married the second time I was not use to having anyone around me. I had alot of test drives before her but like you I just could not find the right model or they did not want me as a customer. I made a number of mistakes in my second marriage with my new wife. I regret these errors now.
Allow her do to do things with you and for you. Show her that she is the most important person in your World. If she likes take her and her daughter camping with you. Show them the last of the great American Cowboy land and tell her everyday how much you love her and that you are so thankful you have a family again. That is priceless.
I found a wonderful lady in China and I am determined not to make the same errors again.
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My SOs English is improving everyday. Hopefully once she is here it will be much better then now. I would hate to see us have a problem with each other over a simple misunderstanding that could lead to a mountain of trouble.
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I explained things before hand to my wife. But later we found out her translator lied (to both of us) about my finances. When I went over to visit her, I tried to explain, but she just ignored it. I had limited finances when I was there, but this didn't seem to ring any bells. I told her I rented an apartment, that I didn't own a house. I even sent photos. But somehow her translator convinced her I had a house.
We have had some tough times due to the translator problems. But also I think all Chinese women think American men are rich beyond their wildest dream. My wife expects a new diamond ring, an Omega watch ($2200), a new house, and gifts for every USA holiday.
I have put my monthly expenses on paper, trying to explain it to her. It hasn't worked. "American husband buy everything for Chinese wife" - is what I hear constantly.
Also I am having trouble with Chinese wives on websites giving my wife advice. Most often they are misinformed because their husbands take care of it. They explain it to my wife wrong, causing us grief and during our application process, wrong information in our applications that had to be re-done.
I am also having problems with Chinese wives bragging about how much their husband gives them and buys them. Sorry but I can't afford all these things and it is hurting our marriage to the point of possible divorce. Women, shut your mouths, if you don't completely know what is going on, don't give advice. Also don't brag to your friends how much you are given - this has been the biggest problem in our marriage. She wants what all the "rich" wives get. Sorry I'm not rich.
Now I am trying to convince her of the need for health insurance, but other Chinese women have told her she doesn't need it - when in actuality, beside for the insurance, we need it for proof in our 10 year green card application. She keeps saying her friends said they don't need it - I'm fairly sure these are from women who are covered under their husbands insurance policy and don't realize it. Husbands please educate your wives before they completely ruin my marriage.
A $2,200 Watch, A new house, A new Diamond Ring, Gifts for for her on every American holiday? Baby what have you done for me lately? Have her Chinese girl friends provide this for her. Afterall the US is the gold mountain in these gold diggers eyes.
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Hi All,
I have been wrestling with this problem for some time and I was hoping that someone can help me understand my girl a little better. We are now in the gathering documents and filling out forms stage of a fiancee visa to bring her and her son to America. I have nearly everything I need now to begin the process. I just came home from my third visit to her.
For the most part, we get along very well. Our one biggest problem is disagreements over money. I am not rich, but I am not poor either. I have a good paying job, some savings in the bank, and some investments that are growing slowly. I have tried to explain my financial circumstances thoroughly and accurately on more than one occasion, but I'm still not sure she really gets it.
My girl had, at one time been a fairly successful businesswoman in China, but her business has faltered. Now, she has big dreams of studying international business in America, eventually opening an international import-export business in America and China, and becoming rich. Meanwhile, she has also been playing the stock market in China. I have agreed to help pay for hers and her son's education when they come here. And, although I don't really care about getting rich, I have said that I would be willing to try to help us do so if that is what she wants.
She says she loves me and wants to come to America, but she is also worried that I will always say no to her on issues of money and will tire of her after she comes here and will throw her out. Hence, she has been trying very hard to find a way to become financially solvent before she comes here. She is going to school shortly to study yoga instruction. When she completes her course, she will have a certificate that allows her to teach in both China and America.
I have given her a little money two times already, once to prop up her business, the other to study yoga. And I have not been tight with money during my visits. Now, she wants me to give her more to invest in the Chinese stock market. She insists that she can double our money in one year. For the most part, I believe she is sincere, but, even if she is, I am reluctant to risk more money because I feel we may need it to help to bring her and her son here and to live on, educate, etc. I am not sure that we will be able to spend the money we make from the stock market in China here in America (i.e. the Chinese government will allow the money to be taken out). Also, nothing is foolproof. I worry that the market could go sour. She insists that there is no risk, that she can make money this way. She says I love money more than her. I now worry that maybe she loves money more than me.
So now, I am trying to put all of this in perspective. I can understand how she might be afraid to leave China and come to a strange land and become totally dependent on me for a while, but she sounds as though she wants to instantly step into wealth without having to work for it. I love this woman, but I am not a big big risk taker, and I sometimes feel that I am becoming a big disappointment to her.
Please help me put all of this in perspective. Is this just an example of Chinese pragmatism - wanting to bas marriage on love + a solid financial foundation - or is something ugly happening here?
Thanks
Been there with other ladies in the past. You love money more then me? When this was said to me once I told this past love you love spending money more then you love me. I answered a question with a question. She told me that I did not know how to love. She was a very self centered and spoiled woman. If you had the cash you had her undying love as long as you aloud her to be in charge of your revenue sharing program. This never happened with me and nor did I get a call from AMEX telling me to leave home without it.
Your SO asked you for money to prop up her business. Why? Some people always wish to have a business but they do not know how to manage money very well and they generally have a business failure. The lure of owning a business is that they think it is big and easy money to be made. They find out the hard way that it is not. As for playing the Chinese Stock market that is a gamble by itself. Any stockmarket is. You must make the choice if you think that financial desire is ahead her undying love then you better really think about this one. If your personal finances suffers from a cold your love life will most likely catch pneumonia.
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American Ginseng? The pill or the herb?
Try to find Wisconsin ginseng in the root form. It's supposed to be some of the best in the world. Hard to get in China. Maybe try a local Asian market? I ordered mine online but I don't think you have enough time to get it before you leave.
GNC has it as well as other quality vitamin stores.
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My SO and I have worked out a happy medium to this. She knew that her request botherd me. I told her that I could afford the monthly allowance. However what where you doing to make a living before we met was my question to her. She said she wished to use some of the money that I would send to her to buy new clothing and some other personal items she would like to bring to America when her interview is granted. Also she wanted to save some of the money for a rainy day.
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My SO wishes to learn how to drive a car after she is here in the USA. I hope I can find her a drivers manual in Chinese for her driving test.
I have heard that Canada has them available. Does any one know how to get one? My State told me that they do not have any available in Chinese.
Here's a link to Washington State driver's manuals.
http://www.dol.wa.gov/driverslicense/guide.html
You will see you can download it in Chinese.
My wife used this as an aid when studying for her Oregon License.
You might need to highlight and go over with her any differences between Washington rules and your state as certain things vary especially things like insurance coverage limits, liability levels required and so forth.
Good luck.
Thank You very much.
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My SO wishes to learn how to drive a car after she is here in the USA. I hope I can find her a drivers manual in Chinese for her driving test.
I have heard that Canada has them available. Does any one know how to get one? My State told me that they do not have any available in Chinese.
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I have read a number of posts concerning Culture here on this sight.
I beleive alot of the problems that have arisen between couples are from different cultural opinions. Hell right here in the USA we have different cultures. Look at the deep American South compared to the West Coast they are almost completely different countries.
I started a small firestorm with one of my Cultural posts a few months ago. I wish to avoid if possible the Cultural problems that will arise with my SO and when they do come up I wish to be better informed on how to handle this as well as my SO should be aware of the cultural differences.
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There are several variations Internet Marriage Scams. Usually the target, male or female is contacted through mutual desire to meet. Internet Dating sites. The person is then groomed into the con. Takes about 4-9 months. Remember your desires are the catalyst to keep you happy, they ask for items in increments, small additional living cost, accommodations etc then get a commitment to marry. That is what their ad states (looking for marriage), because you think it is a different culture you say they are just very direct, why beat around the bush, its more convenient and "that's what I was on the site for too" The reputation of foreign wives is good. You may have just been hooked, do some further checking, make a surprise trip or if possible and feel out the situation.
Soft and wonderful e-mails of new love, soft to the ear and the heart, promises of a full and life long healthy relationship. The mark will be brought into the financial aspect of the con when they take the hook and bait.
It is a long con, could last several years, usually a minimum of 1 to 3 years.
Goals of the con:
1. Financial- to obtain a financial target or goal, increased lifestyle, new homes, condos, autos, bilk the mark anywhere from 10,000.00 to 100's of thousands of dollars more the better. Send large sums of money back to home country on one false pretext or another.
2. Obtain entry into a foreign country through marriage.
3. Ultimately when the top goal is satisfied, to end the relationship, return to the home country, to the original "unmarried" "true" spouse, marry this person, hopefully having not been caught for fraud, and live the goal lifestyle obtained.
If the wedding is fast, hold your wallet and get ready to lose everything. If they determine you are not the wealth mine they were looking for, Wham-o-Bamo hang on and be ready for a rough ride, they will claim they are unhappy, do almost anything for a divorce early. This ensures there will probably be no property to split. You tried your best but have probably already done good amount of damage to your life savings and or general income.
If love = money...think!
If something smells funny, it is probably rotten. The fraud is simple, difficult to detect. If you do become suspicious and you are married, hire a private detective in the country or city where your spouse is, if your bold go home on a unannounced trip with gifts. If their arms are open of surprise and happiness your probably o.k.
If not, you will know and it could get dangerous, do not stay, fight or argue, have the next flight same day already booked and move on. Recommendation: always use Private Detective agency when possible minimum of 2-3 surveillances over 1-2 months. Get your information. If you are wealthy this could protect prior family, children of previous marriage, your wealth and your sanity. As well as your life!
If you can try to find a way to live there or strongly suggest you would like to luve there, if they don't want you living there, your probably putting a dent into someone else's...the "true" spouses love/sex life. It significantly raises the possibility of the two of them being caught. In most of these countries, jails and prisons are not good places to be so do not do anything if you catch them, leave. You'll know if something's up. Emotional body and spoken language says volumes, so does your intimacy, pay attention. If you do not feel anything wrong, your probably o.k. have a great marriage and a good life.
If you suspect a scam/fraud, do not contact their local authority; contact your home country immigration authority and State Department after you have left the country.
These persons have played on your heart, hard earned money so it is best to catch the fraud as quickly as possible into the relationship so you can move on...lesson learned.
If any men or women who have had a similar experience, or suspect you are the mark, take some action before you are left in tears, broken "divorced" and damaged "used" goods.
I hope everyone gets a good and healthy relationship built on honesty, intimacy and life long love. This is what we all hope and pray for.
That's some good information, Tom. Some very good points but wouldn't the visa officers detect fraud during the interview appointment? That's what they're trained for. You don't hear much about it but I bet they have stopped many fraudulent cases in GZ alone. Of course, they don't catch it all but I think most cases are where a couple have irreconcilable differences and the one returns back to their country, namely China in are cases.
It would be easier for K1 then for K3 or IR1. K1's aren't married. They have 90 days. (i won't go there),
But K3's and IR1's are married which makes it more difficult, (children, divorce, property, etc.)
I think the IV unit in Guangzhou does a good job in nabbing fraud. I think some of them are good enough to smell it! By catching fraud, it saves everyone the grief. But if not, I think you've made some excellent points that people can go by.
Very good points and food for thought.
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True communist philosophy is not a bad concept. The problem is it goes against human nature. Greed and envy can be great motivators. Being forced to share with others isn't. You're not as likely to work hard if you don't get to keep the fruits of your labor.
I dont see communism mentioned in the OP it says "socialism" which is not the same as communism. Also I dont share the belief that human nature is Envy and Greed. There is no single shared "human nature" that determines how we behave or structure our societies.
Communism is the Daughter of Socialism.
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Thank you for your advice. Like most of us we have heard the stories about Gold Diggers, Green Card Girlies etc. I read on a websight titled "Your Bride Is In The Mail" by Gary Clark. He mentions if you start sending money now it will never stop. Don't do it he recomends. I am fronting all the costs for her Visa, her travel to Guangzhou and her trip her to the USA. We also discussed that she should not gog to work until she has been more aquainted with the USA plus the additional cost for her nursing certificate and the cost for English classes her in the USA. I paid for our ceremonial wedding banquet, wedding pictures, Red Envelopes to her parents, Another banquet for her friends etc. When we where together I more then proved my commitment to and my finacial stability to her. What she is asking for I can afford this without breaking a sweat. My concern is will when it will stop. I am marrying her. I am not a polygamist that wishes to marry a Village. I know that she wishes to send money back home to China. She has her daughter that is a concern to her. Her Daughter wishes to stay in China and finish her education in two years. Then maybe come to the USA. The problem is that she will be 22 when she graduates from college. We could be looking at a 10 year wait for her. Maybe a 5 year wait if my SO becomes a citizen. I just wish to be on a level playing field with us. I beleive in my heart that my SO is very real. I do not want the money issuse to become a problem for us.
This may be one of those times where generalizations (don't start giving) are badly applied... you just to judge the person and situation.
One issue that I think is important to some chinese ladies is that of 'generosity'... and that doesn't mean one gives everything they ask, it means they offer before they are asked or because they see a need. This kind of 'reading the situation and proactively acting' is much more important in chinese culture than in ours IMO.
I have been very generous to my SO and her family members. During our seperation I have sent her gifts and we have given each other the encouragement to hang in there until she recieves her visa.
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My SO and I had a long discussion early this morning. She has informed me that she will need a monthly living expense now. She is working in the medical field and now she wants me to send her a $100 per month. This is not alot of money but my question to her is why? You where making a living before you met me why now this extra cost. Her response was I could ease her burden if I would do this. She said that many woman she knows who have American/British Fiances help their Fiancees out in this manner.
I do not now why all of a sudden she needs a living allowance. She lives in Guangxi Province and I do not know if this is a custom there or what. I do not wish to seem analytical here but I have concerns now. I hate to use the words Red Flags. However this is an issue we must resolve one way or the other.
I showed my wife your post and here's what she said:
What's the difficulty? Either send her the money or move on.
I just chuckled.
Mr. Phoenix, you're very free to do as you wish. If you don't feel comfortable sending the money, then you shouldn't. However, you should also keep in mind that your SO may not feel comfortable or secure with you not wanting to "ease her burden" in her time of need.
It is not unusual for men to financially support their GFs in China--be they Chinese or non-Chinese men. It's not an un-reasonable request that your SO is making. It may seem a bit more peculiar to an American, but not unusual in China. Still, there are gold-diggers out there so you do need to be cautious. (But $100 is really very little money. A gold digger would be asking for a lot more.) The ultimate decision is yours and you do need to feel at peace with whatever decision you make.
Good luck.
Thank you for your advice. Like most of us we have heard the stories about Gold Diggers, Green Card Girlies etc. I read on a websight titled "Your Bride Is In The Mail" by Gary Clark. He mentions if you start sending money now it will never stop. Don't do it he recomends. I am fronting all the costs for her Visa, her travel to Guangzhou and her trip her to the USA. We also discussed that she should not go to work until she has been more aquainted with the USA plus the additional cost for her nursing certificate and the cost for English classes her in the USA. I paid for our ceremonial wedding banquet, wedding pictures, Red Envelopes to her parents, Another banquet for her friends etc. When we where together I more then proved my commitment to and my finacial stability to her. What she is asking for I can afford this without breaking a sweat. My concern is will when it will stop. I am marrying her. I am not a polygamist that wishes to marry a Village. I know that she wishes to send money back home to China. She has her daughter that is a concern to her. Her Daughter wishes to stay in China and finish her education in two years. Then maybe come to the USA. The problem is that she will be 22 when she graduates from college. We could be looking at a 10 year wait for her. Maybe a 5 year wait if my SO becomes a citizen. I just wish to be on a level playing field with us. I beleive in my heart that my SO is very real. I do not want the money issuse to become a problem for us.
New Attempts to Cool Property Markets
in The Middle Kingdom - 中国
Posted
China appears to heading in the same direction as the US did with overinflated housing prices. If the bubble breaks in China it could set off shock wave around the world. Where is China's Ace in the hole?