shushuweiwei
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Posts posted by shushuweiwei
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I know. To be totally honest were doing fine. We laughed earlier on the phone and were back on track. It was important for me to lay it all out there for others. I know we blew it and I wished I had found this site before I flew to China and got married but that's water under the bridge. I also know that sometimes the truth "stings" to quote David Gray. I asked about meeting with an VO and they told me no way... We're still planning our future and are beginning to learn the unconvienent truth about this process. But, I have fantastic job, a great wife and a great life. I just need them all in one country!!! Oh and THANK YOU.
Glad you guys are good!
Yea, if you ask about meeting a VO they will say no but if you make an appt to get anything notarized then you get called to a window to talk with a VO and you have an opportunity to chat
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I posted this for those going to GUZ. I'm not looking for 20/20 backvision from anyone. I understand we blew it and the fight continues. I'm a grown man, I can deal with disappointment. Lets pretend I'm not a VO lets realistically just be who I am a Manufacturing Supervisor with little knowlege of the Guangzhou Embassy. That is not a crime. And, we have never mislead anyone or falsified any form. They can slow us down but we will be sucessful eventually because we love each other. But, throwing me back under the VO bus is messed up. I have had enough. I get it. We messed up!!!!!!!
I don't think anyone is trying to rub it in your face, but you must be in tremendous pain and it is a tender wound right now. The deconstruction of the interview "debriefings" helps people who are starting out and it is a noble thing that you put it out there for everyone's benefit.
Stay in touch with tsap seui, he went through the same thing. I'm sure there were moments when he wished his life wasn't being dissected by everyone here but in the end I think he'd say it was worth it and that it was a life changing experience, for the better. I'm sure he'll correct me if I'm off base on those assumptions.
He may not even realize how much his story helped people like me navigate the process. Your willingness to share your story will help others who are close behind you as well.
That is little consolation to your broken heart now, I know, but when you get to where tsappy is it will be. In case you've read his story in detail, you don't have to try to die and scare the crap out of all of us to get where he is, like he did. I thought that was terribly inconsiderate of him to do that.
Life will get better and the courage to share your story will help you and others. One of the things I did, because of the abject fear of experiencing the pain you are feeling, was to make an appt the day before my wife's interview, ostensibly for the purpose of getting an EOR letter notarized. It gave me the opportunity to chat with a VO and ended up being an interview of my own that I think lasted longer than my wife's. After a little banter that established rapport, he went through the letter I had written and pointed out what aspects might raise questions for a VO. I was able to give more details about those things (including how we communicated) and he typed it all into her file. One of the comments he made was that he dreads the call to notarized an EOR letter because it is usually someone post blue slip who is pissed off and unpleasant. So he noted that it was a nice surprise to have it be someone who was "planning ahead" and was still pleasant and polite.
Maybe that opportunity will arise for you at a future interview or for someone else who is just starting out. Thanks for sharing your story and opening it up to this process. For now, skip over the posts that feel too difficult and save them for another day, when your heart is in a better place.
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Based on a quote from DZX in another thread:
"Her city/province ; may help in understanding her background and psychological side."
This got me thinking about my SO and, since we're still early in our relationship (8 months email, one visit, second visit in January), whether some insight into regional temperament could be something I could learn from. If nothing else, maybe this could serve as a springboard for some discussion about perceptions of such differences.
Given, of course, the truisms about generalizations and that they'll be taken with a grain of salt and don't necessarily apply to my SO, let me lay this out and see if anyone has anything to say:
1. Location: Liaoning Province, city of Yingkou (so, an urban northeasterner).
2. Education: two-year college degree in accounting and management (also in Yingkou). Her parents were both teachers (high school I think) and live in nearby Liaoyang.
3. Age: 52. She has an older sister and a younger sister.
4. Offspring: one son, 20, in university in Japan (computer science).
5. Previous marriage: once. She has been a widow for about 15 years.
6. English ability: none.
7. financial: she is retired and lives on a small (but according to her, sufficient) pension. She owns her apartment in Yingkou. So far, she has not let me send her money.
To me, she is very playful, loves to laugh, quite talkative (man, the Liaoning accent is tough for me!), and outgoing. I don't know how much of this is thought to be "typical" of that region/generation...
Any thoughts?
no profound thoughts but just to let you know my wife is from Yingkou, I believe xishi district but she is here in the US now. My wife is 33. Playful, funny, loves to laugh but a bit shy. Don't know if that's a trend or a coincidence. If your gf wants to speak with a Yingkou girl who made it through the process let me know and I'll ask my wife.
Good Luck to you both.
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I highly recommend this page on Mandarin phonetics at Sinosplice.
We have no tongue blade sounds in English and so learning the proper tongue position for the tongue blade sounds x, q and j will help you to pronounce Mandarin in a more natural way. Making a sound with the tongue blade engaged with the palate requires a slightly more forceful exhalation to make a clear sound and practicing that helps to sound authentic. I'm sure the first time we all said "xie xie" that we attempted to use some form of our familiar sibilant sound "sh". I'm sure all had trouble at first hearing the difference between the sibilants in Mandarin and the tongue blade sound "x". Practicing it correctly, in my experience, makes it easier to hear as well as to say.
Learning which sounds require your tongue to be back in the retroflexed position is also very helpful as almost all English speakers try to find a shortcut way to make the sound that avoids retroflexing as we rarely do it in English.
In my experience, when a native Mandarin speaker hears you correctly make these sounds they are often surprised and interested in hearing you speak more, which often gets you more free lessons. My wife gets frustrated when her English teacher asks her to teach him a Chinese word because he can't say it correctly even after many repetitions. She comes home and asks me why other America people can't say Chinese correctly like me. I laugh because I can actually speak very very little Mandarin but I make the sounds correctly and that makes her happy.
There is also the idea of learning language like a child, which although more difficult at our advanced ages
, is still possible. Just listen intently when you are around people speaking Chinese and watch the actions associated with what they say. I am blessed with a mother in law who loves to talk to me and I just listen. Gradually your hearing of the language changes and you feel more sure of what sound is being made and which tone is being spoken. It's exciting when you suddenly know what was said even if it's a little thing. I listen when my wife talks to her family and to her Chinese friends. When her eyes dart to me momentarily and she says "Ta shi" I know that I'm the "ta" who is "shi-ing" something and I try to see if I can figure out what I "shi-d"I have used livemocha.com as well and found it somewhat helpful for learning some vocabulary and simple grammar.
There is a "Chinese Character a Day" calendar that shows correct stroke order and has boxes around the outside to practice writing the characters. I think it is a good start for learning to write characters. Usually we are more intent on learning to understand and speak so writing characters is usually less of a priority and that's a way to start that is easy but gets you writing 365 characters by years end.
Many people have given a lot of great advice. I hope you enjoy learning Mandarin.
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Yes USCIS should send you a letter giving you an option to contest the decision.I have not heard from USCIS on returned I-130 application.Will I hear from USCIS or is it final that it has been denied?what will the next step be?
It's difficult to give you any specific information without really knowing more about your case, especially which USCIS Service Center you were processed through.
The USCIS service center is California . She had the interview on 4-20-2009 and was given a white slip due to her english was poor. The I-130 was returned to the California service center and I have not heard from them.It has been 6 months since the interview.Will USCIS contact me or is the white slip final?
Since it has been this long you may want to schedule an info-pass appointment at USCIS and ask about this, or call DOS visa services to find out when the consulate sent the case back to the states.
DOS: 202-663-1225
First time I have heard of a denial due to poor English.
But probably not the first time we've heard of a denial based on the assumption of non-bonafide based on the assumption that the couple can't communicate based on the beneficiary's poor English. Hopefully, the OP understands that going forward and was just shorthanding that by saying "due to her English was poor".
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The US has been warned by UN Special Reporter on Extra Judicial Executions. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8329412.stm
Maybe the international law needs to be changed. Wasn't this law passed to hold Saddam Hussein and Idi Amin and others of their ilk accountable.
I don't think those two people are named in the law. I think it was written to cover anyone who kills indiscriminately.
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Anyone out there know a good source for Chinese music videos with pinyin subtitles? I need to improve my KTV skills. Sorry for the English, on my work computer.
There are some on youtube. I learned Xiao Wei from a ktv video on youtube for my wife. (Her family made me sing it 10 times at our wedding. Probably for comedic value more than anything else)
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My wife's father-in-law's brother wants to visit the United States. Since he can't find another sucker to fill out an affidavit of financial support, he has turned to me. Of course, my wife wants to help out her uncle, so I have no choice.
So I have a few questions:
1. What form do I need to fill out to support this guy?
2. I don't really know or even trust the guy. If I fill out an affidavit of support, what am I liable for? He is only planning to come for a few weeks, and I am pretty sure that he will leave. However, I don't really know what his intentions are. He says that he is here to visit his mother in California, who can't support him because she is on welfare. But the guy is a schemeing rat... so he could be doing something illegal for all I know. If he screws up, can I get in trouble?
3. Has anyone else experienced pressures from your Chinese wife's family? As soon as I married her, all of the relatives line up for favors. It's so infuriating. Unfortunately, I don't have a choice in this matter. Either I support the jerk or I alienate my wife's entire family... which is not an option because she is very, very close to them.
Wouldn't your wife's father-in-law's brother be your uncle (your father's brother)?
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One note: You can use the green-card to enter Mexico, Canada, and the Caribbean without a visitor's visa.
Did my wife ask you to post that?
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The welcome letter or EAD card cannot be used to re-enter the USA, however the actual photo-green card can. We have used the 2-year CR-Green-card on several occasions to re-enter from trips to Canada.
Was this note attached to EAD card?
What exactly was the wording on the note?
Yea, dumb mistake on my part. Excited about the wife getting the card and read down the bulleted list and my mind skipped over the change from green card to EAD.
They must use this paper, with the slots for the card like a credit card comes on, for all the cards.
I'm chalking it up to working too hard.
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My wife received her 2 yr card today and her "welcome to the US" letter at the same time.
As you can see in the timeline, pretty speedy. She only had her EAD card for 1 week before Green card arrived.
The approval is dated 8/4, we got the approval email 8/7, and she got the approval notice and the card today, 8/10.
I hope it goes as quickly for everyone else! We've been very lucky. Filing 129-F to green card in 15 months. Thanks to everyone for help along the way.
One question, on the paper the green card is stuck to it has a list of important info about your green card and one is "your card can't be used to re-enter the US." I thought that was one of the main things one would use their green card for. What do they mean?
Exact wording?
You need to apply for AP if you will be gone longer than a year, and may need a returning resident SB-1 visa for longer stays overseas
My mistake. I reread it and it switches from talking about the green card to talking about the EAD card and I missed the subject change. Sorry.
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My wife received her 2 yr card today and her "welcome to the US" letter at the same time.
As you can see in the timeline, pretty speedy. She only had her EAD card for 1 week before Green card arrived.
The approval is dated 8/4, we got the approval email 8/7, and she got the approval notice and the card today, 8/10.
I hope it goes as quickly for everyone else! We've been very lucky. Filing 129-F to green card in 15 months. Thanks to everyone for help along the way.
One question, on the paper the green card is stuck to it has a list of important info about your green card and one is "your card can't be used to re-enter the US." I thought that was one of the main things one would use their green card for. What do they mean?
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Look closely at his passport, it should have an I-551 stamp, the stamp = green-card.
The actual card can take up to a month or longer to get.
Yes she knows that, she is just anxious to have the green card
As long as the green card would not turn into a green hat(ÂÌñ×Ó£©, ha ha ha.
By the way, who knows what a green hat means in Chinese?
Amanda
Amanda! I hope you don't get green hat! I will have to fly down and help Richard get over the shock!
BTW, Weiwei got her green card today!
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http://www.ustreas.gov/press/releases/js335.htm
However, the final rule gives financial institutions the flexibility to implement procedures to verify identity in other ways appropriate to their individual circumstances.
42 USC 408 makes it a FELONY to use threat, duress, or coercion to try to force a person by fear or deceit to provide his SSN in an unlawful manner.
At least what you quoted here says the banks have flexibility in deciding how they will identify people under the statute. It doesn't appear to say it is illegal for them to decide that their policy will be SSN.
As far as the second part above. I don't think they'd find them politely saying they won't open an account for you without the SSN to constitute a threat, duress or coercion.
My reading of what you've quoted here at least is that you proved the bank's point. They have a duty under the law to ensure the identity of the account holder, it suggests some ways they might do that but gives them latitude to set their own policies as to what documents to require. They aren't demanding you turn over your SSN. You're free to leave if you don't want to open the account.
I'm not sure what you'd fire across their bow with this but I didn't read the whole statutes, just what you quoted here.
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Here is what we did. First we got married, that way we could get the SSN in her married name.
Steps:1. Enter the USA
2. Wait a couple of weeks and then apply for SSN (Many SSA officers tend to give a hard time if you try to apply for one after marriage.
#3 Apply for marriage license.(Some states wont issue a license unless both persons have SSN (The reason K-1 can apply for SSN and the other K-Visa types cannot.))
First off, A big thank you to everyone who gave a detailed description/steps and shared their experiences.
Reading the two quotes above I see where it seems logical to marry first and then get the SS# but the second quote tends to try and steer me away from that. I also know that when dealing with government agencies, taking the "logical" approach is not always the most efficient.
I called the office that issues the marriage certificate in my area and a valid passport along with a birth certificate is all that is necessary to obtain the license so that shouldn't be a problem.
"Many SSA officers tend to give a hard time if you try to apply for one after marriage." Would you please explain the reasoning behind this?
With all of the above in mind, what are the pros and cons of marrying first vs. SS# first?
Thanks in advance,
Max
In NY, an SSN is not required to obtain a marriage license but the license states that it must be returned after the wedding with both SSNs on it or a wedding certificate won't be issued. This probably varies from state to state so you have to check in your state whether you can get both a marriage license and marriage certificate without an SSN.
If you are in NY, it seems you need to get the SSN to get the marriage certificate (but not the marriage license) that you'll need for the SSN in the married name.
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Congratulations to you both! Come home soon!
Joe & Weiwei
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PINK!
She was asked 2 questions how did you meet and do you have any photos. He never even looked at the photos LOL
He was in his mid 20's with long wavy hair and glasses.
Congratulations!
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is it required to submit form I-94 (the arrival/departure card) when applying for adjustment of status? the immigration people at the airport kept ours. is there anything else they'll take as evidence of her status in the united states? thanks for your help.
When Weiwei arrived they stapled the I-94 to the page opposite her visa in her passport. Are you sure they didn't put it somewhere in her passport?
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Someone recently attached the short cut to the China medical exam instructions. It looks like there are two places in Beijing to get this done. Any problem with taking care of the exam in Beijing before heading to Guangzhou. Seems like it would take some of the anxiety of getting it done while in an unfamiliar city.
Weiwei did her medical in Beijing in January before we left for Guangzhou. It went smoothly. If your SO has questions about it you can PM me and we can see if they can discuss it.
Joe
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Someone recently attached the short cut to the China medical exam instructions. It looks like there are two places in Beijing to get this done. Any problem with taking care of the exam in Beijing before heading to Guangzhou. Seems like it would take some of the anxiety of getting it done while in an unfamiliar city.
Weiwei did her medical in Beijing in January before we left for Guangzhou. It went smoothly. If your SO has questions about it you can PM me and we can see if they can discuss it.
Joe
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Sounds like prejudice (Jackie) against mainlanders.
In the context of the rest of the article, it doesn't seem that way. In fact, the title isn't necessarily a fair representation of the article itself.
In many ways, it sounds to me like Jackie was simply towing the line. Speaking to a Chinese audience, he basically said that he thinks the mainland way is better, not Taiwan or Hong Kong - giving the people what they wanted to hear, to an extent.
On the other hand, he DID have the guts to speak up about the quality of Chinese goods, even given the possibility that it might rub some people the wrong way.
I essentially agree... but he had the guts to say something historically and philosophically profound.
We've gotten to a point in history where you cannot say anything without some group taking some offense... instead of seeing if there is something to learn from the comment.
Jackie Chan is well-respected amongst the Chinese people. He's one that was actually born and raised in the East, and then grew to be a world traveler. During his travels, he's been fortunate enough to live and experience the differences between one culture and another. In my view, the US would do a lot better for itself by bringing back the controls exercised in schools and homes before 1960. Back in the days when a teacher could discipline a student for misbehaving and failing to do their assigned work.
Teachers never lost the ability to discipline students for such things. I think you meant to say back when they could use violence to discipline.
Whether you are talking about students or detainees, violence never loses its charm, despite its lack of effectiveness.
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Is the name on your credit cards exactly the same as your name on your passport? Middle name or middle initial? Someone add the Jr you never use to one of them? If it isn't you can run into trouble.
I tried to use a card with my middle initial and not my middle name that appears on my passport at a large store in Beijing and after being shuttled around to several cashiers, several phone calls and extended conversation with my then fiancee, they handed my card and passport back and she said "let's go!", refusing to tell me what they said. Back at the hotel I found out she was told I was trying to use someone else credit card! She was embarrassed and I was asked to prove that I really was me!
So if one of your cards says EXACTLY what your passport says, it could save you some trouble.
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I'm leaving for Chengdu on the 14th of May, returning on the 25th.
OK, so far my list of must-haves gleaned from reading the archives includes:
-- modest gift for the young lady
-- American style TP
-- baby wipes (cleanliness is next to godliness)
-- raincoats for Mr. Happy
-- my travel laptop (with skype and headset)
-- iPod
-- digicam
-- eyemask, neck cushion, Ambien & alky for sleeping on the plane
-- passport w/ Chinese tourist visa
I'm hoping to get away with a 22" carryon to unpack at the hotel and a messenger bag for gear I will use on the plane.
Also,what is the deal with hotel laundries in China ... do they understand the difference between normal wash and gentle wash, etc?
If you want to get by on one carryon, www.onebag.com is an invaluable resource. I use their packing technique and packing list.
At www.cdc.gov you can print out a guide that is very complete as to what OTC and Rx meds you may wish to have with you. Talk to your doc about getting the Rx's.
Have fun and good luck.
Joe
Diabetes and diet with a Chinese spouse.
in Stateside
Posted
Carl
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but I'm glad you're thinking about your diet. Take the opportunity to go to Diabetic Education classes that are usually offered at the hospital and often include a session with the dietitian. A good dietitian can usually accommodate to cultural food preferences. You will learn to count carbs there and that will help you evaluate the meals you are eating.
As far as oils go, try to use healthy oils and then having extra won't be so bad. The Smart Balance blends are good (and there is a cooking oil). Weiwei uses it and has no problem cooking with it. She even eats the spread sometimes but she calls it Smart Butter :-) Since you have diabetes your mortality risk is significantly decreased if you are on a statin and you keep your LDL at 70 or less. As long as your LDL is <70 you are OK with the oils.
If you have an iPhone/iPod/iPad there is an app called GoMeals that can help you keep track of intake. There are many prepared foods in the database but also generic items like eggs, cabbage, etc that you can select as favorites and create a menu of the common ingredients that your wife is using. As you enter what you've eaten for the day there is a running tab at the top with your calories, carbs, protein, fat.
Don't overdo it on the protein because it is a stress on your kidneys and you want to keep them well perfused. Being on an ACE inhibitor or Angiotensin receptor blocker helps to keep your BP down and protects your kidneys.
Hope that your Vitamin D level was checked. Vitamin D helps to reduce insulin resistance and helps your pancreas release insulin so it is good to be sure that you have a good level and if not, take a supplement.
Hope that helps a little. Keep your BP as low as you can tolerate without passing out, your LDL low, get your Hemoglobin A1c down to 6.5% and exercise regularly and you will be great.
Joe