david_dawei
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Posts posted by david_dawei
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In Chinese families, the son-in-law usually calls his would-be parents-in-law “uncle” and“aunt” before marriage as a sign of respect. It is considered extremely impolite to addressan elderly person by his or her full name.
And the step-daughter will [should] follow suit; first calling you uncle and then later dad...
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I don't completely agree with this one:
Cigarettes and Chinese liquor (baijiu) are among the most common gifts for parents. But becareful. You should ask your girlfriend first whether her father smokes or drinks.Otherwise it would be very embarrassing for you to take two cartons of expensiveChunghwa Cigarettes (the most popular gift cigarettes in China), only to find he is a non-smoker. Baijiu is usually okay but not necessarily in all cases.Because parents usually downplay any gifts they get as that is customary to not appear to 'need' the gift... and any gift which they would not consume themselves are used by them as gifts to others on appropriate occasions... so expensive cigarettes or jiu are generally well received, IMO. If you want to impress them with jiu, buy Maotai.
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Rote, memorization isn't just affecting their brains in how to behave in the classroom...
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That is a classic line ("When a girl goes to bed, she goes to sleep!") but I don't think it is altogether true.
The idea is that a woman has 'life' on her mind and is more engaged in her existence on some level; a girl sees the world as pandering to her needs so she doesn't have to be pre-occupied with it all.
The subtlety is a real woman is more engaged and has life on her mind... while awake. Sleep is the time to let that go and pick it up in the morning.
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The Chinese student #1) obsesses about the score!!! 2) Is more likely to think memorization is the key to the top score 3) believes (because they were told) that long hours is superior to any other way of studying (as opposed to "work smarter, not harder"). This, despite me telling her repeatedly that the grad schools just want to know that you passed the TOEFL, not where your score ranked. She was taught (in TOEFL) class) that during her speaking test the key is to talk as quickly as possible and use as many words as possible - as far as I know, there is no correllation between word count and speakng effectiveness.
Excellent post....
I find my step-daughter, first year of schooling is US is in a community college, struggling with all this... but I don't see that china's attempts at learning english is remotely close to preparing them for the US. Every class (history, economics, biology, accounting, english, etc) is an entirely new language to learn on some level... through brute force of long hours they can get through it but they are only prepared for this road for the most part.
And they can't seem to realize that talking fast and pronouncing most of the words wrong and strung sloppily together just makes one feel they don't really care about the language. This is one of the most pressing issues I have battled and am winning so far.
But for the chinese, the western education also is an escape from the pressure of the elite only issue. If they have the money (or can get it together), then there is a good chance they can go somewhere to school in the US. Their are more and more programs to assist with this, including HS exchange.
In the end, whether they can shift from rote, memorization to critical thinking skills is the real hope I have for their education.
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1. If I could come up with at least the month, then I would enter the first day of that month. If I had no guess I would just put the year.
2. In the result box you could write: Approved. We ultimately did not marry. She returned home.
For the basic filing it is usually recommended that you include an 'Evolution of Relationship' letter to show how you meet your current fiancee, etc. If you wanted to explain that past filing, you could do that in the letter but I would keep it very short and simple.
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I tend to think domicile is less important as most maintain some evidence of it (ID, bank accounts, etc) and it's easy to get back early and have an address... showing the financial support is the bigger issue, IMO.
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I don't see a debate going on but rather helping the OP look at it from various sides, pros and cons.
If he had never filed, then I can see minimizing the filing but as he clearly filed the wrong status, that looms larger, IMO, than which exact married status to do when.
It is up to him to figure all that out in the end and do what helps them the most.
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I am told by the Chinese locals that they avoid helping others to keep themselves safe from injury scammers. They say if you help someone that it's possible for them to suddenly claim you are the one who injured them. Then, instead of being helpful, you will wind up paying hospital bills. While this kind of thing may happen, surely it's not as often as Chinese television news and Internet leads them to believe. There are many fables and tales of gossip that are perpetuated by Chinese media. You'd think the government would be working to stop these rumors rather than trying so hard to silence their critics.
Bottom line to many chinese behaviors is fear... It is so deep and takes so many paths it is inconceivable in our minds.
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I am not sure I totally follow.. meaning: If he changes later to Joint, he may get money back.. her foreign income will likely be a non-issue anyways.
At least he can run the numbers later and then decide...
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One exemption when filing "Married, filing separately". Your tax liability remains at $0, so no fees or penalties should be incurred.
There's a section in the directions on "Assembling Your Return" - your old 1040 is not included.
When you submit your Affidavit of Support, be sure to include both the 1040 and 1040X.
Ah yes...
When I did this, I actually made the change to filing jointly and that is when the exemptions change. So the next time he changes for that, after she is here, he'll fill out the earlier part(s).
Does anyone see a limitation to changing status? Meaning whether he cannot do a second change? That would be worth at least knowing.
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6. Per above, there was no reason for me to fill in Parts I or II. On Part III I wrote, as my explanation for amendment: Changing status from "single" to "married, but filing separately."
Part I asks if you are changing the number of exemptions... It seems to me that you are.... which means part I applies.
How are you reading it differently?
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You want to get this changed to Married, filing separately for those past years.
Realize that you'll amend AGAIN once she is here to Married, filing jointly as you should get an even better tax break (or refund).
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Mick,
What you said about caution is all too true and may actually be part of the reason some true masters don't want to share their way... if they are going to do it they know their physical and spiritual responsibility.
That must of been surreal to see it disappear with such suddenness.
What you describe sounds like what I have heard others call 'stillness-movement' but it may simply be similar in names alone. But I am glad to see you say 'visualization' as that is often a component that is not well understood. But the self-help it affords is tremendous, as you say.
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duh... thanks for clarifying to the reading impaired
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Qigong comes from extremely ancient practices documented on pottery, silk paper and passed down in various traditional forms. I could give background and history to some degree but I suspect this is not a topic of interest to most. Suffice to say that it falls within the globally known practices of "energy work" as the word itself might breakdown to. While this is much more well known in Asia proper, other countries have very similar practices and abilities which tie them by a common thread of simply achieving something of a connection to the cosmos (universal energy). Such a connection 'opens' the body and mind to access something beyond perception and the senses.
While one can trace back the 'Wu' (Shamans) to such practices/powers as well, the earlier matriarchal society had female Shamans. As modern society is wont to be critical of anything which it cannot experience or prove, we end up with re-writing history to protect our ignorance and ensure we can make sense of everything in this world. But even Confucius wrote of these 'doctor's which is the word used in ancient times of their ability to heal. Later these 'Wu' doctors become labeled more like 'witch doctors' and so one can see the evolution of pejorative labeling through time.
With the march of time, prior belief systems turn to superstition by outsiders; people refuse to accept such old tales and begin a campaign to ensure no one else believes it either. This came to full force with the CCP which sought to dismantle all traditional ideas including a devastating blow to TCM. TCM was part and parcel with Qigong for most of it's history because TCM comes from Qigong roots. The only saving grace is that TCM still utilizes acupuncture and explains everything in terms of Qi flowing through the body.
It should be realized that at one time, Qigong was actually embraced by the state government because it was a welcomed answer to a swelling population which could not be provide medical treatment so easily... and Qigong offered a very proven, preventative approach. The problem occurred that such a strong following occurred that millions were suddenly practicing and it appeared to potentially be a threat to central rule. Then a reversal occurred in the government and a smear campaign began to ensure it was not only banned as a practice but to utter the mere word became equally fearful.... even today. Try talking to someone in China about Qigong and note their facial expression. What they fear is not the superstition of Qigong but the real power of the government's campaign.
I have studied under two Qigong masters and now correspond to a Shaman who has a very secretive lineage. Secret linages started with the tribal area as they sought to keep the 'secrets' to themselves. This all changed once QIgong was banned What this experience as shown me more than anything else is the the 'secrets' are actually still being kept for the most part. Meaning, what was passed to the US is not in many cases the entire lineage... and what people did was claim lineages and powers and charlatans seeking to make money.
There is a known story in the Qing Dynasty (Manchu rule) where the court asked Tai Ji masters to come and teach the court... to refuse meant death but the easy answer was to give the 'external' method but keep the 'internal' methods from them. This continues to some degree today but not simply because they want to hide it but because the internal methods are very difficult to attain the levels expected; and westerners have a harder time of breaking through some of these methods. Most who have practiced it, say they 'know' Tai Ji but generally they know the external methods. I trained with a Taiji master from Taiwan who taught a class at a buddhist temple. One day he invited me to attend the 'chinese only' class... I immediately saw the differences being taught on the 'internal' methods.
I think for the most part, the real teachers are happy to let the masses be ignorant of the real parts... as it is simply too difficult for most to master. Think about Yoga. It is incredibly popular but in its origin, one was supposed to master the six (or so) levels before they did the external method we see in the west. What we have in the west is almost exclusively the external method of yoga.
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You would never of posted the information? Even with VPN?
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I'm not so sure such an idea would happen as China is very deliberate in their global dealings and very diverse in their investments abroad as well as at home. But their economic collapse might be felt by all the countries heavily dependent on China exports to them.
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If all is well, most likely she will be asked to come back in... Don't worry delays; just get them what they want, when they ask it. thinking 'delays' is a path in insanity on some level. Focus on the next step. Now wait to see what they say next.
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One can't open their mouth without pissing someone off... Its just that someone in the public eye gets their voice traveled around the world in a youtube microsecond... It all seems a game on some level and social media is taken over as the Wizard...
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Yes, you can file the extension online. My memory is that you can file within 90 days of the expiration and you'll get a notice back saying it was received and that the notice serves as the new expiration date (ie: the requested extended date) until further notice.
In other words, no further news back is good new. As long as they do not deny the extension it is assumed as accepted. You will likely get an official approved notice anyways.
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Well, she's not going to try to conceal the fact that she's married from the consulate. She will be stating that she's married when she fills out her form for renewal...hopefully that doesn't affect her chances of approval too much. ?
She will be going to the states this year on her existing visa, so there won't be the status change this time on her visa, but next year she'll be going through on her hopefully renewed visa with the status change.
Also, we won't be going through customs together as we will not be travelling together.
Any more suggestions on plan of attack here or any issues anyone foresees are much welcomed.
Thanks, Tom
Yes, I wasn't talking so much about the renewal but the trip on the existing visa; her status on the visa does not match her actual status. While there is no requirement (that I am aware of) to update the visa [it remains valid through it's expiration date], she would not want to avoid simply answering the truth.
That is she will enter alone seems to play in her favor on some level but even a simple question like "who are you visiting?" should not be answered in a way which appears to avoid the truth. I am not suggesting she offer up info not asked about, but only to answer directly to any, even, simple questions.
good luck and keep us informed.
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Yes, as Randy clarified... not necessarily a problem... but in some cases I've seen this common thread and one doesn't realize it till it's too late. Just keep the focus your relationship and no need to try and call something out that was not the case; then they might wonder why point that out.
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An American child living in China would be perfectly legal. I'm simply suggesting that as a possible alternative, in case there are no better options.
True... with the proper visa. The headache would be maintain the visa status over long periods of time.
That headache amounts to about $125USD every year under current laws. The child may be eligible for permanent residency..
Until there is permanent residency, the headache might include having to leave china and re-entering to get another visa. I know some have been able to simply 'extend' over and over and over and even get longer extensions each time.
I would only say that we do agree in general and the local authorities are also the ones who would deal with these extensions vs residency issues... best to find a local friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend who is in the police station; sometimes that works wonders.
"The ten years China was crazy."
in The Middle Kingdom - 中国
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And a remarkably polarizing time of opinion or regard by the generations who experienced it vs did not.
I personally find myself unable to take a strong side other than to say there needs to be more respect for the former but the latter offer a balance which defies the mind at times.
BTW: Swans is a worthwhile book to read.