Racism in the US and how our SO's can cope?

[david_dawei]

The freedom I like in China is the freedom from having to have a car.  I love public transportation.  Living in Tennessee (down here with Trigg and the sheep) I pretty much have to drive everywhere.

 

Anyway, what I meant was, it doesn't seem like Chinese are very likely to start a fight with a foreigner.  The most I have experienced is a few comments.

I had that same thought... When I came back, I began to wonder why I had a car. Public Trans is also very good where I am..

 

Fighting with a foreigner... I think it would take a drunken atmosphere..

 

I think the chinese see themselves as the 'host' to any foreigner. I was shown this in so many ways and different circumstances.

 

But, one night in a bar, I almost got in two fights.. So I think the 'host' thing stays outside the bar door...

[NY-Viking]

You guys haven't spent much time in China.

 

The "host atmosphere" is not a universal. But it is true, people are generally pretty friendly.

[david_dawei]

You guys haven't spent much time in China.

Not long enough.. someone is still back there..

[awch]

It also depends on what kind of foreigner you are.

[pkfops]

My SO watches American movies.

 

She repeats things she sees and hears.

 

I have to tell her about the American

slang word for negro.

 

"What that means".

 

[david_dawei]

You guys haven't spent much time in China.

 

The "host atmosphere" is not a universal.  But it is true, people are generally pretty friendly.

I guess it doesn't have to be universal.. just at the places we frequent ! And Baoding seems to have a reasonable 'patent' on it...

 

I had people get out of line, move aside, and generally serve me like a king. They were tickled to have a foreigner in their midst. And I made a lot of friends.

[david_dawei]

My SO watches American movies.

 

She repeats things she sees and hears.

 

I have to tell her about the American

slang word for negro.

 

"What that means".

 

I'm not sure how 'universal' this is.. but i thougth that was one of the chinese prejudices..

[Dan R]

My SO watches American movies.

 

She repeats things she sees and hears.

 

I have to tell her about the American

slang word for negro.

 

"What that means".

 

I'm not sure how 'universal' this is.. but i thougth that was one of the chinese prejudices..

It is and one we are working on before she gets here. Ir isn't anything real strong from what I heard and I am sure once she meets friends it will vanish with experience. I am more concerned about when she learns Chink, Gook and Kike but they know about prejudice and have much to learn in our society. My SO is clever and it is just part of adjustment. They will quickly learn they are not the Han majority here if they were at home. If they are not Han they will already know these things well.

[david_dawei]

My SO watches American movies.

 

She repeats things she sees and hears.

 

I have to tell her about the American

slang word for negro.

 

"What that means".

 

I'm not sure how 'universal' this is.. but i thougth that was one of the chinese prejudices..

It is and one we are working on before she gets here. Ir isn't anything real strong from what I heard and I am sure once she meets friends it will vanish with experience. I am more concerned about when she learns Chink, Gook and Kike but they know about prejudice and have much to learn in our society. My SO is clever and it is just part of adjustment. They will quickly learn they are not the Han majority here if they were at home. If they are not Han they will already know these things well.

I had long suspected that the reason the 'black pearl' fear started at 001 was self-evident...

 

I don't think people from this board would of jumped to a label just because someone was hard.. unless we had some prejudice against them or their race.

[Dan R]

My SO watches American movies.

 

She repeats things she sees and hears.

 

I have to tell her about the American

slang word for negro.

 

"What that means".

 

I'm not sure how 'universal' this is.. but i thougth that was one of the chinese prejudices..

It is and one we are working on before she gets here. Ir isn't anything real strong from what I heard and I am sure once she meets friends it will vanish with experience. I am more concerned about when she learns Chink, Gook and Kike but they know about prejudice and have much to learn in our society. My SO is clever and it is just part of adjustment. They will quickly learn they are not the Han majority here if they were at home. If they are not Han they will already know these things well.

I had long suspected that the reason the 'black pearl' fear started at 001 was self-evident...

 

I don't think people from this board would of jumped to a label just because someone was hard.. unless we had some prejudice against them or their race.

Sad but true I'm afraid. When an SO has an easy or friendly interview with her it is regarded as out of character rather than taken as filling out a better picture of her. When I was a teacher the teacher's lounge was like that. They would fill in each other as to the problems of specific students. This was how many of the teachers decided who to make an effort with. Always ethnic and racial designation was prominent. I felt sorry for the students. Several I was warned about I had no problem with. One in a few weeks became an A student in my class only with perfect attendance. Forwarned can be a useful advisery of caution as long as we do not use it to create self fulfilling prophecies.

[hayuesen]

During my time in China I have found that while in general, the Chinese are quite welcoming and not inclined to too much prejudice, it certainly did exist. Having a fairly good grasp of the language, I did routinely here comments that I am sure they thought I did not understand.

 

Regarding the Han, there certainly was prejudice and institutionalized bias. Especially favoritism for those from the north/Beijing area. Hainan natives rarely occupied positions of power in their own government. These were given out to northerners in general.

 

I should note, however, that these prejudices were usually more prevalent among people in power. Most of the common Chinese I met, while perhaps taken aback at first speaking to a foreigner in Chinese, were very warm and welcoming.

 

As far as hostility towards foreigners, I think what you find in China is similar to what you find anywhere: The likely antagonists will be the drunk, the ignorant, of young males (who often fall into that later category anyways)

[NicolaNSam]

The Chinese are fed by their government that Americans "Look down" on them and think they are sub-human. Its VERY false to say that the situation is different in any country because I remember a furniture factory wanting to go to America where "The people are friendly" and "everyone says Hello to you when you pass them in the streets" That's how I felt while I was in China.

Nicola's grandparents came and everywhere we go people see that they are visiting and not from here so everyone gives them the "Royal" treatment. Holding the doors for them and smiling at them, asking them if they like America. Customers walk into our store and hug them and try to tell them how they wish they could visit China. Most people welcome visitors and I don't think one country is better than the other.

[Dan R]

Most people seem more tolerant of the traveler than other races or ethnicities they must live with. Racism was aggressively institutionalized early on by segregation of religions in colonies and formal slavery of Africans. As time went on slavery was banned and racism continued to be enforced by law. Technically this ended with the 1964 Civil Rights Act and continues to be tightened up as laws for age, gender and etc. are added. At all levels of government group interests dictate application of law. Often they push for return to a "Golden Age" of security and racism. This is not drunks or isolated individuals. It is application of the laws we live under. We should be aware so we can help our SOs as new immigrants deal with what comes up.

[hayuesen]

Please, by no way take this as a defense of the Chinese government. I just wanted to add a different perspective:

 

While it is true that the Chinese government exercises control the media, I have found that many Chinese are quite well informed about what is going on in the world. Indeed, they often knew much more than my American compatriots in the "free" world.

 

I read some posts and you would think that the entire population in China lives under the proverbial massive thumb of the government. It was my experience during my time in China (3 years) that the government had much less involvement in the daily citizen's life than ours does with our own populace.

 

While we enjoy the great luxury of freedom of the press in this country, this does not mean we get the whole story or an unbiased opinion. Anyone who thinks any media in any country gives a "fair and balanced" perspective on something should think again. Try reading the World Press Review and you wont believe articles on the same topic from different parts of the world are talking about the same thing. We all have our own cultural blinders and no nation has a patent on the truth.

 

The reason I bring this up is that all of us have chosen to commit to a relationship with someone from a very different culture who is making a great sacrifice and commitment to be with the one they love. We must all police ourselves to avoid a patronizing and condescending attitude towards our SO's and their traditions. I had the experience in China of struggling with the language and customs and I know what a challenge it can be. My SO was patient and never mean-spirit in putting up with the slow pace of my learning. I can only hope I am as kind and supportive when she arrives here.

 

There are a lot of great things about this country, but there is also a lot we could learn from China. China is an over-populated, over-polluted country with plenty of challenges to face, but it has great strengths in its traditions and the strength of its family ties. I'll take these over Jerry Springer and 12 year olds dressing like Britney any day of the week.

 

My point is keep an open mind, realize we dont know everything and have our own faults to admit to.

 

Footnote: If there are any out there who care to cast me as an anti-US Sinophile, please know I have direct experience of the many problems in China and served in the military for 6 years.

 

Peace

[BuffaloPaul]

My SO watches American movies.

 

She repeats things she sees and hears.

I have found that I am constantly having to defend American life or telling my SO why it is different from in the movies. My SO has all her information about race and racial prejudices from American movies.