Mengxin

[jgrier5]

I totally understand your rant. Look at my timeline. We had it pretty rough, and when all of the finance visas were getting interview dates I was bitter. I couldn't really be that happy for other people when I was feeling my own sorrow.

The process suks, people don't care, and you are in it all alone. I feel you on that.

Listen to sad music, drink wine before bed, eat cheetos, and spend endless hours talking to your spouse. That is all that will help you through this. Oh yea, and pray.

[boba]

I too can feel the pain you both are feeling. Look at my time line and my application is a K-1. Is it fair that others have been more fortunate probably not? Why have I been chosen to endure more is a question I often ask myself. However I feel that the time I am forced to be away from Meixiang has only strengthened our love for each other. The letters and conversation on the phone are sweet treasures I will cherish for the rest of my life. I believe our time will come and then we will be together again. How sweet those moments will be when we can hold each other every day for the rest of our lives. I know I am not the only one to feel frustration and pain. My struggle is almost over now and some day yours will be too.

 

Boba and Meixiang

[david_dawei]

My timeline is not going to equal your pain, but I can at least share in the 'separation' anxiety we all face. Life is not fair, so let's not play the game to pretend it is supposed to be. Let's face the reality that government processes move like a slug in mud and their view on such critically emotional topics as reuniting spouses seems less important than wars in other countries and jumping into the politically motivated spotlight at any moment.

 

After I left Zixuan (to return to the US) the first time, she was devastated.. After I left her the second time, I was devasted. Still trying to recover from it. My friend in China laughs at me.. says, "this is how it should be, you share the sorrow".

 

This prevailing attitude of the Chinese to 'accept' lifes experiences, whatever they are' is rooted in the taoist/buddhist/zen backgrounds. I studied this for a few years and grew to enjoy this way of thinking.

 

My SO recently wrote me a line from a poem: "Has a little desire to drink because of something on one's mind, changes to makes lovesickness tear"

 

Another day, she sent me the story of the monk agitated from sweeping everyday. THe head monk told him to cut the tree down so he could stop his sweeping. Overjoyed, the monk did so.. but then the next day, was very uncomfortable about his routine now being broken, no more leaves to sweep!

 

I could explain in long winded detail my take on the meaning, but asked my SO to give me her meaning.. Her concise reply was: "Life is to be accept by you; accept the things happening every day. Life's joys and sorrows are to be experienced. "

 

Does anyone elses SO feed them this philosphical conundrums so that they keep from sinking any deeper in Western impatience?

 

Treading water feels a little like treading through these sayings and stories... a little like treading through a visa process too.

[jgrier5]

Touching. Very touching.

[eeyore]

I hear ya, I'm still waiting for the p3. I can't believe that its taking so long. I called the NVC and asked them to mail out a 2nd p3 in case the first one was lost (which looks to be the case).

[ptcrusier333rph]

David, my SO is a litature teacher, I get poems everyday in english and Viet namese, she loves words, and I like how she write.

I had a Viet namese man translate a poem I keep missing up, he sent back a message asking me if this is how she writes, I said yes, got responds back lucky man to have a woman that writes like the wind and the birds.

 

meaning her writing was beautiful.

 

She is a buddhist but not devote. so not got any of the proverb from that but I do get stories of folk lore.

 

robert

[david_dawei]

Robert,

 

I am glad to hear about your exchanges on poems, etc. I feel very lucky that Zixuan and I both like poems and Zen stories.. Actually, it's very lucky that I spent a few years on 'self-exploration" in Zen, otherwise I'd never have gotten the meaning of the stories or poems. Just goes to show that life brings some meaning to you, not necessarily at the time you expect. Cherish the writings and her !!

[kfman]

I hear ya, I'm still waiting for the p3. I can't believe that its taking so long. I called the NVC and asked them to mail out a 2nd p3 in case the first one was lost (which looks to be the case).

Yeah Eeyore, I can definately feel your pain also.. check our timelines.. .look familiar?....

 

Seems so many of us CR-1's are forgotton. Nooneofu did a great job with timelines, but missed on mine.. oh well. He tried, and I hoped...

 

Like Jgrier says... pray.

 

and cheetos.

 

[BuffaloPaul]

I remember reading some story (sure it's Eastern philosophy but not whether its Zen or not). Can't remember the whole story but it goes like this:

 

A beautiful horse wandered into a mans possession - good luck or bad?

 

The mans son feel off the horse while riding it and broke his leg - good luck or bad?

 

The Emporer declared a war and called for all young men to join the army. The mans son could not go because of his broken leg - good luck or bad?

 

I think the story never ends. The point being that life happens to you and their ain't no point complaining about it since you never know how things will turn out in the end.

[inxy]

Have patients, lots of it. The waiting is foreverness. Your life has been suspended, like in a limbo. You can not plan, you can not do anything. You are basically killing time till. In time it will happen. A very long time.

 

My wife got freaky a month ago over the lenght of time till we are together in the US. . My word to her - be patient - it will happen in time.

 

Married on 1-6-04. On Friday I leave on my fourth trip to spend a week with Qiong. It is nice but it does not realy help. You will live and in time your loved one will be here. Just hang in.

 

Bruce

[eeyore]

Yeah Eeyore, I can definately feel your pain also.. check our timelines.. .look familiar?....

 

Seems so many of us CR-1's are forgotton. Nooneofu did a great job with timelines, but missed on mine.. oh well. He tried, and I hoped...

 

Like Jgrier says... pray.

 

and cheetos.

 

Ya but you had your p3 4 months ago I'm still waiting. You will have your p4 soon our starting time is only 15 days different and your 4 months ahead of me.

 

Well my k3 is the namecheck process but I'm still light years behind and NOT happy about it but there is not much I can do.

 

If things are heading the way I think they are it just might time to consider putting the house on the market and move to China.

[eeyore]

Bahan,

 

The more that I look at your time line, the more discouraged I get. The only thing that is close is the start date. Did you file with the Vermont service center?

 

I can't look any more.

[markndannie]

Yes the CR1 process is or feels so long. I should get my AOS this week, and hopefully the p3 this month too. My house is on the market and i hope to be together with my wife in China until she gets her visa. Life is too short to be apart, now that i have found the one true love of my life. If I have to live in china then so be it. I know it will still be another 6 or 7 months the way things are going, so i will soon be on my way. I wish i could offer some words of encouragement, when I read some of the posts about seperation i am very moved. Lets hope that the process wil get improved and know that it will end someday and your life will be complete.

mark

[Mengxin]

http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons6/4.gifhttp://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons6/6.gifhttp://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons6/25.gif appriecate the cool tone of the thread guys. Seems like my blood pressure rises and falls with every post. Seem kind of weird to feel so connected with so many people I never met before and don't even know. We're all sort of brothers and sisters here. Sounds kind of deep, but it's also the same reason I feel comfortable pouring my heart out. I don't mean to attack or offend anyone. If I do, well then write your congressman or senator about it. Call the newspaper and the 10 o'clock news.

....oh god , here we go again. (keep yourself together marshall, think of your happy place.) 1 amy, breath, 2 amy , breath 3 amyzzz

 

huh? what? were was I? I just had this dream and then these bad guys were chasing me... and then ... no more and then!!!

Sanity IS Perspective. I should put my buddah quote back in my sig. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Thanks for listening to my misery. Not a minute of the day goes by that I don't think about my wife.

You know when your downloading files and you see the folders flying across the screen . Your alsmost to the end of the download and the computer locks up. I'm that file in between at that moment. That's how I feel.

[eeyore]

Yes the CR1 process is or feels so long.  I should get my AOS this week, and hopefully the p3 this month too.  My house is on the market and i hope to be together with my wife in China until she gets her visa.  Life is too short to be apart, now that i have found the one true love of my life.  If I have to live in china then so be it.  I know it will still be another 6 or 7 months the way things are going, so i will soon be on my way.  I wish i could offer some words of encouragement, when I read some of the posts about seperation i am very moved.  Lets hope that the process wil get improved and know that it will end someday and your life will be complete.

mark

The only thing if I go to China it will have to be more or less for good because once I quit my job it will be highly unlikely that I can sponsor her. We are both considering moving to Thailand. If she does not have an interview date thats what we will do. I can't see making her wait for more than a year.