Jeikun Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 For those who don't know Enight, watch out - she will take your logic and twist you into little pieces.I like her already Link to comment
warpedbored Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 I think the reason this is such a hot topic is 1: it hits us in our strongest fears, and 2: It angers us because fraud cases are what makes our quest so difficult. Link to comment
yuan95 Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 Yes, we agree with your points. Link to comment
Guest enight Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 Thanks Don, that's an excellent article! great writing and clear view. thanks for introducing me too Link to comment
John & Hai Yan Posted June 29, 2004 Report Share Posted June 29, 2004 Ditto... In regards to your post Don, I think your post is very well written and well thought out. The challenges that two people must face, from two vastly different countries and cultures, must not be underestimated. It would be wise for all of us, to try not only to understand each other as individuals, but also try as much as possible, to understand each other's culture and customs. Link to comment
skibum Posted June 30, 2004 Report Share Posted June 30, 2004 Steve, have you figured out what to do? Link to comment
a2396 Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 I am sorry to read this. It is unfortunate that a relationship gets is such a state when I am sure a lot of so time and effort went into building it. The language barriers can be a problem, but I think the bigger one is that the nature of such long distance "connections" do not allow for the amount of personal contact that one would have if the couple were both living in the same area/city/county during courtship. That makes the honesty and accuracy of two way communication more important than what we are normally acustomed to in our life here in USA. It is a hard thing to achieve in any case and challenging. I think many prefer to save the difficult isssues for later resolution. I would say get divorced soon or see a marriage counselor and see if you can resolve the problems. Link to comment
oregonknl Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 Jeeezzze ~! Another hopeless situation (in my opinion) I go to China, and then have to catch up with depressing news on the Candle... First Tazsa, (and Maiya) --- Now this.... Sorry, I don't see any hope. Here we have a situation where he clearly showed his love for his children --- made it clear that they MUST be a part of his life, and she ignored his message, because she is so self-centered... I went through that, before I met MY Fei, ------a woman in Beijing. I was honest about my situation (two daughters) ------she just thought I would change my mind ----in her favor (send them back to their mother) --- YEAH, ABOUT THE TIME HELL FREEZES OVER ~!!! So BEFORE hell freezes over the solution is simple ----- dump the bitch --PROTECT THE CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS !!!! DON ~!!! "My wife thinks there is a great difference between natural children and adopted /step children. It is a bone of contention, but I insist on maintaining contact with children, now adults, who I raised and think of me as their father." GEEEZZZE~! At our pot luck at Mt. Tabor, Xiahong was so outgoing, and warm to Jet that I thought I had won a convert to China Adoption ! (which was my initial goal of my first posts on CLF) ----Kim Link to comment
Jeikun Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 Jeeezzze ~! Another hopeless situation (in my opinion) I go to China, and then have to catch up with depressing news on the Candle... First Tazsa, (and Maiya) --- Now this.... Sorry, I don't see any hope. Here we have a situation where he clearly showed his love for his children --- made it clear that they MUST be a part of his life, and she ignored his message, because she is so self-centered... I went through that, before I met MY Fei, ------a woman in Beijing. I was honest about my situation (two daughters) ------she just thought I would change my mind ----in her favor (send them back to their mother) --- YEAH, ABOUT THE TIME HELL FREEZES OVER ~!!! So BEFORE hell freezes over the solution is simple ----- dump the bitch --PROTECT THE CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS !!!! DON ~!!! "My wife thinks there is a great difference between natural children and adopted /step children. It is a bone of contention, but I insist on maintaining contact with children, now adults, who I raised and think of me as their father." GEEEZZZE~! At our pot luck at Mt. Tabor, Xiahong was so outgoing, and warm to Jet that I thought I had won a convert to China Adoption ! (which was my initial goal of my first posts on CLF) ----KimI thought of your story as soon as I read this thread, Kim. I think I guessed pretty well what your reply would be too I really have to agree with you there though. Though I have no children myself, your children should come first... period. If you're entering into a relationship with someone with children, you should expect, even encourage this. Jealousy between the new guy/girl in a parents life and the children is stupid, misplaced, and damaging. Link to comment
Guest enight Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 ---- dump the bitch --PROTECT THE CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS !!!!'dump the bitch'? you certainly are not a gentleman even she was a bitch. Link to comment
Guest hakkamike Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 You may be right, he my not be a gentleman but he sounds like a hell of a good father toooo me, and his children should come first as oregonknl stated. Later, Michael Perez Link to comment
maiyademama Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 I am beginning to wonder if Steve really was the author of the original post... where did he go? Link to comment
Guest enight Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 ... teach me, why should put the kids on the first place ? they would visit you once a week; a month; a year when you are 70? they gave you financial support when you need them as most of kids do to their parents in China? they send you a gift pack; a card or a phone call on father's day or you brithday; Christmas? or... they would carry your name (or not), so 'Mr. Smith' would be known after 100 years? Link to comment
MoonCarolCafe Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 ... teach me, why should put the kids on the first place ? they would visit you once a week; a month; a year when you are 70? they gave you financial support when you need them as most of kids do to their parents in China? they send you a gift pack; a card or a phone call on father's day or you brithday; Christmas? or... they would carry your name (or not), so 'Mr. Smith' would be known after 100 years?Depends (no pun intended). If you put your children first, raise them right, be a good parent they probably will. On the other hand if they know they are second to whatever man/woman you are sleeping with at the moment... Kind of a self-fulfiling prophesy, reap-what-you-sow sort of deal. Edit: My grandfather is 80-something, and I see him several times a month. Usually you get more conservative as you age-- but Karl Marx would call my G'pa "far left" Makes for delightfully lively arguments. He did not raise me, but he raised tha man who raised me, and look how I came out. Link to comment
Guest hakkamike Posted July 1, 2004 Report Share Posted July 1, 2004 Maybe you are right I will talk to my 3 tonight and tell them I dont want to have anything to do with them anymore because they do not take care of me the same as Chinese children take care of their parents and then I will have talk with Lusheng to see what we can do about sending her twins back to China as they are not really mine, thanks for helping, I see the light. Later, Michael Perez Link to comment
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