a survey

[Guest lilac6451]

Hello everybody,

 

I am doing a survey for all the Chinese ladies who want to find am American, Canadian or men from other western countries. Since there are so many differences between cultures and traditions, there is no exception about love. Many close women friends of mine have complained a lot about the men they met online, their relationship sometimes just doesnt work out due to the misunderstanding between cultures. So anyone with any advice on what shows a man is real or how you can judge if he really likes you and will develop into love is appreciated. Drop one line.

 

 

lilac

[Patrick & Li]

I feel extremely fortunate to have met my wife, Almost as if it was fate.

 

I remember the 1st day i talked to my wife, she stated she believed we were a "Good fit". This was based on such a small bit of information that i had given her. I wasn't as sure as she was, but i was willing to explore the possibilities. Over the course of our relationship from then to now, I have fallen deeply in love with my wife, and she with me. But truly, it is mainly because she was soooo right from that first fateful day. We WERE a good fit. Everything that she stands for and believes is why i have fallen so deeply for her. Everything that i stand for and believe is why she has fallen so deeply for me.

 

I don't believe you can make "Love" happen. I mean....It just happens!

Relationships require work, and they also require BALANCE.

 

Can a Chinese woman choose a Western mate? Yes, I believe she can. But her true intentions have to be about wanting love and family, and nothing else. She must seek a man who truly wants and needs the same.

 

My wife and I have often discussed how there are so many BAD people in this world. There are so many Chinese ladies who go through the motions, but in fact are only interested in the "Green Card". Just as there are so many men who lie and decieve the Chinese girls just so they can come to China for a Sex-escapade.

 

Bottom line is, You have to be careful when choosing your mate.

 

 

Good luck, Patrick

[warpedbored]

I agree with Patrick. I have heard stories of many women who are unhappy once they get here because their husbands don't turn out to be like they thought they were. Same thing for some of the men. There are good and bad people everywhere. I think the main thing is their motives. Is she looking for a husband who will love and cherish her or just a man that makes a lot of money to buy her things? Is he looking for a wife to share his life with or just a good looking young woman to have sex with?

[se_lang]

Hello everybody,

 

I am doing a survey for all the Chinese ladies who want to find am American, Canadian or men from other western countries. Since there are so many differences between cultures and traditions, there is no exception about love. Many close women friends of mine have complained a lot about the men they met online, their relationship sometimes just doesnt work out due to the misunderstanding between cultures. So anyone with any advice on what shows a man is real or how  you can judge if he really likes you and will develop into love is appreciated. Drop one line.

 

 

lilac

I see the only way around cultural misunderstandings is to learn as much as you can about the other culture and I don't just mean like history but simple things like table manners, public/private behaviors, child rearing, if you don't put an effort into learning these things then there will be trouble. I was sitting at a restaurant in Shanghai with my MM and she was in typical Chinese fashion chowing down on the food in a manner that would cause most Americans to think she was raised by animals (well at least my mother ) It was really bothering me, how can I teach my own kids proper table manners when my future wife has none. I had knots in my stomach about how I could bring this up to her is a polite manner, I forget how I said it to her, but without skipping a single bite she says "I know, but we are in China so we eat like Chinese". So as long as she knows and I understand things are different then I see no problem she knows America is different and accepts she will have to make changes and I understand she is Chinese and will need help adjusting.

[Martytb]

When one decides to marry outside their culture the first thing they must accept is difference. When ever I experience culture shock my first reation must be accetpance. She/he is brought up in a different world than mine. it is a very unique and wonderful feeling to experience a culture that is different than our own. In many ways it is part of the attraction we both have for the other. My wife loves me because I adore her in a way no Chinese man could. I love my wife because she loves me in a way no western woman can. We are so lucky to have discovered each other.

I mean all of us here on CFL not just WeiPing and me.

There is a heaven on earth and WE have found it.

[ndjarrett]

I agree with donahso. Talk. Yaya and I talked about everything. At first she would always think our relationship had a problem because I kept asking all these hard questions...lol. But then she firgured out I was just trying to discuss the hard issues now so we would understand each other better and be prepared for them if they ever come up. But we have talked about everything and are open with each other about everything. Communication is the biggest key...I think.

 

But both sides also need a lot of patience. Especially if the Chinese person has not had a lot of English training. We have both learned not to take something said that sounds bad as bad until we ask to further explain. Many things can come out the wrong way in translation...lol. We can chat pretty darned good these days. But when I first started talking (voice, not type), I had to go very slow and spell almost every word. I learned a lot of patience during this time (and I am not always the most patient man ).

 

There should be some give & take. We both have some very different habits. Some will always be different...this is ok. Others we are willing to change and compromise on.

 

For me it was just a feeling I got when chatting with Yaya. I talked to several girls on different dating websites. But, Yaya seemed the most genuine sincere person in her writing.