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The Dating site Plenty of Fish


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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok so mentioning this in the evolution of relationship letter is ok? If so will they send me RFE to prove its not an IMB? Looking for direction on best way to address this when I do Petition for and file the I-130

Yes, can mention met online and where, and won't be asked to prove is not an IMB, this is a well known dating site the site is not arranging marriages.

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After having lived in China for six years it didn't take long to learn that a Western white face is a high priority for single Chinese women. It's now well-known that a Western man in China has pretty much his pick of the litter. So many website girls seek contact with a Western man and know nothing about him before moving the conversation to marriage.

 

That's a lot of weight to bear for a man whose unfamiliar with the crazy China exodus syndrome. It's takes careful discretion and discernment to determine the intention and wherewithall of the feeding frenzies.

 

I love China and Chinese people, but it's important to remain objective, focused and aware of what is happening in China today. There are loads of women who will seek to marry a man they just met and don't even know his name. The only criteria is that he is Western, and white. Be aware and awake.

Edited by HotBaozi (see edit history)
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This isn't quite the same thing (it's about whiteness of skin, and westerners to a lesser degree), but from the SCMP

 

New international study led by Chinese team finds the diverging complexions of Han Chinese and native Africans and Southeast Asians was caused by a mutation of the OCA2 gene 15,224 years ago

 

 

Men in the country can often seem obsessed with fair skin, especially in a partner, while many women have in the past favoured a Caucasian or “trophy” husband. This has long been dismissed as a social, economic or cultural problem, but new evidence suggests it may stem from a genetic predisposition.

 

For thousands of years, China was ruled by pale-looking nobles in the north, and the invasion of Europeans in its more modern history further added to the perception that a white skin colouring was somehow superior.

 

The first pale-skinned people may have been mistaken for sickly individuals by other members of their clan or tribe, who were predominantly dark-skinned

 

. . .

 

A quick pore through a Chinese search engine quickly reveals what many modern Chinese woman aspire to be: Bai-fu-mei. This portmanteau of three Chinese characters - “white”, “rich”, “beautiful” - puts white first, even though in today’s China, wealth is for many the most desirable quality.

A study by market research company Mintel last year found that more than 95 per cent of Chinese women aged 20 to 49 had used facial masks to whiten their face - or three times as many as in Britain.

 

 

 

http://www.scmp.com/sites/default/files/styles/486w/public/images/methode/2016/01/12/587b01c2-b8eb-11e5-9ce7-2395197ababe_486x.jpg?itok=9PzL41Eq

 

Fashion icon and starlet Fan Bingbing appeared in the Hollywood blockbuster X-Men: Days of Future Past in 2014. Photo: SCMP Pictures

 

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Yes I found that out quickly. I spoke to a woman also from China for 1 month she was 44 I'm 59...Yes I was smitten haha It didn't take me long to figure out she wanted to get married right away. Yes I thought I'm the man right? Hahaha It didn't have anything to do with me, just what she had in her mind what she wanted. so I gracefully backed away. I meet my future wife (51) she is so much different. Great personality, good job, own house , car ect. Plus she asked me all the right questions about me. Didn't smile at every word I said, wasn't always trying to please or tickle my ears like the others. Maybe I felt more secure knowing she didn't need me. We talk with each others family and friends on qq or skype built a good relationship. Fell in love , but not in the first 30 days. And it keeps growing stronger despite the distance. maybe that is the secret take the physical out and you really do have the like the person you are talking to.

 

This whole process has me a little stress out not wanting to make a mistake in the formality of the CR-1 petition. It seems like we all start out paranoid because someone who doesn't know you can make a decision that will have a big impact on your life. we were both in long term marriage's and realize that life is not always a fairy tale but we have the experience to know what it takes to keep a marriage healthy as anyone can. 6 months together may not seem long to most, but because all we have for now is talk ( I'm lucky her English is good )we do a lot of it and know each other better than in our precious marriages. Like everyone else who finds their way here to this site I'm truly thankful to everyone. I can imagine it can get old hear the say stories from so many of us. ...Thanks again !

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Hey there Buddy,

 

"maybe that is the secret take the physical out and you really do have the like the person you are talking to"

 

Well said, and hard to do, I know. When I was introduced to Yifang, I was certainly smitten as well. But I had also had the experience of being on a dating site where I was bombarded with ladies that (after a very short while) showed me that they didn't really care for me....they just cared that I was a westerner.The dialogue inevitably turned sexual, very quickly, and it was clear that this was the standard enticement method. I had pretty much given up meeting a decent, stable lady when I met Yifang. After meeting her, she also asked all the right questions, and was polite, but not at all like the ladies that I had met before. We talked about the problems she had with her son, and how to manage them. We talked about everyday life, her parents, friends, my family....everything under the sun. And as we talked, I knew more and more that this was an honest, kind, good-hearted woman with good values. I was hooked.

 

Once we married, and I started the I-130 process, I was also scared sh**less of making a mistake. I got through it, but it was before I found these guys here. I found out that there were a lot of things I could have done, that I didn't. I ended up with an RFE that set us back a month, but it honestly wasn't something that could have been prevented, so I took the opportunity to send in a crapload of extra documents and relationship evidence - all things I learned from the more experienced people here. Since that time, every question I've had, has been answered by the good folks here. Now, I'm able to contribute a little myself.

 

You'll make it through, buddy. And you'll probably make a few mistakes along the way. No worries....usually all these mistakes cost you is time, if anything. Keep a close eye on this forum and VJ...research the topics for the stage of the journey that you're currently at and the next one. The good folks here won't steer you wrong. And your sweetie will be here before you know it! Tsap is fond of saying "Everyone gets the visa"....it's true...all it takes is persistence and time.

 

Good luck, buddy! :D :D

Warren

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Thanks Warren I really appreciate you giving back. I hope to be able to do the same someday . I'm sure as I navigate through this I will have more questions. My cousin who married his wife 13 years ago in China, he met her there while teaching English. Didn't know about this site and wished he would of. He had some difficulties getting his wife here. Someone told him about CFL much later in the process. He is still happy married and has 2 children. He told me to come here for questions cause things have changed since he went through the petitioning for his wife and forgot a lot of it.

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