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Dating websites for Finding an American man


steppinthrax
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Hi Joecy, long time no see! Sharing the waiting time or paper work at Guangzhou, I can say nothing. I didn't know anyone who was walking the same path as I did. I didn't know 001 Chinese forum and I knew nothing of CFL. We met in China and we married in China and we had our life in China. So I did not have any waiting time to endure.

Ronny's story is very moving! We can make a movie based on their experience. All good men are gathering here on CFL now! Larry's story is special too. His first wife prayed to get Larry a new wife before her last breath. Then right on the plane, Liren came to Larry's arms. Isn't it a miracle?

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Yes, Yajie she did exactly that as I told you. She knew I did not like to be alone. I could not do it until long after she was gone though and I kept my promise to go to China like I had always want since I was in the eighth grade. Look what I found. I can't help but think that she had a part in it. She always said that she would always be looking down on me and giving me guidance.

 

Ronny, is a magnificent writer and has a gift with words. Yajie he is writing a book as well.

 

Larry

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Hey!!! I'm blushing over here. I'm not all that much, just a man who likes to laugh, and lucky enough to find and love one of China's many beautiful women. Lucky Ronny.

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Wow, I have to admit this topic really intrigue me because I have the same thinking to get my cousin to be in US, if it's God's will. I helped her managing Eharmony account where my husband and I had worked out, but I will definitely say it's God's job if He didn't prepare for her and the potential one. At this moment, nothing really worked out for her and I realize that she's not preparing herself to be active looking for this. Of course, she's still pretty young, so, I will keep praying for her and hopefully God will give us such luck to be close in US.

 

I think I am the exception which unlike most of the cases that guys went to meet the lady. In fact, I had never met my husband in person when we decided to get marry. Literally, I may be one of the "mail ordered bride" if this is a neutral term(and I paid the air ticket to meet him and return back to China). However, I strongly don't recommend others to take the same steps if you haven't gone through a lot of studying process of each other. My husband and I were crystal clear what we wanted for the spouse based on biblical principle and we have done a lot of research as well as personal experience. Anyone who had been Eharmony would knew how serious they matched up and, my husband and I voluntarily finished the matching process even though we had jumped to the email contact. There are many spiritual books and relationship guidance books which had been translated into Chinese, so we went through quite many books, such as <Love&Respect>, <The five love language>, <Letters to Philip>,<Letters to Karen>, <struggling man>, <So long insecurity>, etc. That is to say, not only we had learned ourselves into certain depth until we had the confidence that we can take the commitment of marriage seriously and no option for divorce, but also we learned each other well by asking each other a lot of questions and do personality quiz, we shared views on sex, finance management, parenting(my husband had never been married before but I have a elementary school boy), health management and families issues, etc. We were so open that he told me about his physical defect and I shared him what my biggest temptation is and the wounds that I had since my childhood. That is to say, we had shared the worst side of each other and, we had been tested on that, which made us to make up our mind to be together. I went to US on B2 visa, but seriously I didn't tell lie because I was permitted to enter US clearly telling the POE that I was meeting my fiance and had my wedding in 10 days. However, we chose to go through legitimate process to apply spouse visa for me and my son and waited for this long to be together. Actually, we are still waiting for each other to meet. I am in both 001 forum and some qq groups, such long duration is the biggest challenges for new couples. Thank God that we withstood such challenges and our love gets even stronger as we knew each other better through consistent communication. If any of the Chinese ladies or American guys want to get an alien wife, it is important to prepare psychologically for this. Frankly I met many of friends in China who wanted to achieve the same goal, it is more realistic if they take both language studies as well as visa procedure studies. Neither China nor US is a country of heaven. I am goose-chilling when I think of filing for our tax already! I will definitely miss the simple tax reporting work in China.

 

Anyways, like Joecy said, Chinese ladies are most disappointed for the soul lost of Chinese men, and for the fact that divorce rate is getting higher and a lot of single moms are struggling to raise children alone, I would definitely encourage them to step out to strike for their own happiness. A big applause for American men's generosity to share father love to step children and their family-centered value.

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Welcome Snowzhong! You're from Guangzhou. So you must be melted like gentle water!

Edited by Catherineli (see edit history)
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WOW!!! I am truly amazed at your beautiful, and very unique story. I've got to say, your story is the most unique one I have ever heard. My hat is off to you both for taking the step of going through the whole legal process. I am beside myself at your story, and all the work you two have put into your relationship. Wonderfully amazing!!!!

 

Please lose any thought of "mail order bride" unless it is in humorous jest as I use with my wife. That is an insulting and derogatory term that gets thrown about in an uncalled for and arrogant manner. You can only forgive people for their use of that term.

 

What a warm feeling your story gives me. I wish you the best of luck at your interview. I hope you will post to us of your success, and come back to post your thoughts from time to time.

 

My wife, during the worst of times for us in our waiting, is the one who told me that for a long time God had planned, and prepared for us to meet. Without getting into a lengthy talk on that, I do feel that way in every molecule of my being. Something deep inside me, some little voice I could have overlooked so easily, that small soft voice calmed me and told me to make that trip to China, even when every "rational" thought said it was crazy. That trip turned out to be the most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life. I got to meet the woman I was supposed to meet. It was a gift I remain humble to.

 

Again, good luck on October 27th, and thank you so much for posting your story. You and your man are two unique people. May happiness always shine on you both.

 

Rawknee

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Snowzhong,

 

Your sharing is wonderful!! I'm truly happy for you and your husband, you came from a long way!

 

The books you listed are such great resource for long-distance couples! My husband and I went through the same, in fact, reading these books kept us sane:

1. When we were understanding each other and relook at love: <<The Rules of Love>> <<How to save your married before it starts>>

2. When we were in the infinite waiting: <<The Power of Now>>

3. When I thought I couldn't make it: Nelson Mandela's <<The long walk to freedom>>

4. When meeting stepdaughters: <<Helping your kids cope with Divorce>> ... books later on being a step mother

 

It's Oct.27, the day of your interview, hope you could come back to share the result with us.

Good or bad, we are here for you!

 

ps. Your English is perfect! Where did you learn your English?

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I went to US on B2 visa, but seriously I didn't tell lie because I was permitted to enter US clearly telling the POE that I was meeting my fiance and had my wedding in 10 days. However, we chose to go through legitimate process to apply spouse visa for me and my son and waited for this long to be together.

 

I can't believe you told them the truth, and they still let you in?

Isn't this consider a intention of immigrant and usually the POE will reject entry?

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I went to US on B2 visa, but seriously I didn't tell lie because I was permitted to enter US clearly telling the POE that I was meeting my fiance and had my wedding in 10 days. However, we chose to go through legitimate process to apply spouse visa for me and my son and waited for this long to be together.

 

I can't believe you told them the truth, and they still let you in?

Isn't this consider a intention of immigrant and usually the POE will reject entry?

 

 

 

You can get married anywhere and at any time you want - the marriage itself is not an immigrations issue.

 

If they suspect you wish to STAY after getting married, you may be denied entry.

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I see the OP hasn't been around for awhile. I didn't get much past the first page and thought I would just pitch in here.

 

I don't consider a dating website a mail order bride. There is no agency in control, like in a true mail order bride company. Besides Tsapper's situation turned out pretty good (what an act of God hehehe) :D . I think a new member to CFL can easily be offended even if tongue in cheek meant. He has no background about us ol boys here. :D yet. Of course sometimes I aint so tactful myself or give explanation.

 

I don't much find it out of the question or a bad thing that the young lady would like to find a husband somewhat near her friend. I took the OP as a kind of, if it worked out thing, it would be nice. Even if anywhere in the USA or Canada they can visit much easier than half a world apart. I also just don't see anything wrong with it, because I am assuming the lady would not take advantage of a man just to be near her friend. That kind of gets into fraud and we don't know that yet. Besides my wife and I have certainly talked about this. We would like for one or more of my single buddies to hook up with a Chinese or better yet one of her friends. I find her friends quite mature and easy to get along with, and honest. In fact, I have a single friend who is chatting with one of her friends already, but that may not work out so far.

 

I searched and www.chineselovelinks.com has changed to http://www.chinalovecupid.com/ . I want to say that the ladies never have to pay, but can chat and things if the man has, or the other way around. But someone on the other side might verify that. There are scams, but you can read about that and weed them out pretty easy.

Edited by Doug (see edit history)
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I went to US on B2 visa, but seriously I didn't tell lie because I was permitted to enter US clearly telling the POE that I was meeting my fiance and had my wedding in 10 days. However, we chose to go through legitimate process to apply spouse visa for me and my son and waited for this long to be together.

 

I can't believe you told them the truth, and they still let you in?

Isn't this consider a intention of immigrant and usually the POE will reject entry?

 

Thank you all for your encouraging nice words. Our Visa has just been approved on Oct. 27. Now it was the time for my husband and I to discuss over practical thing how to live in US while my husband is still a student with part time work and I have to find a job to support our family. Filing tax seems to be the most difficult thing among all hassles. Anyways, with God, everything is capable and we had approved that when I entered US for the first time. You were right Joecy, the POE might have rejected my entrance considering that I was the most suspicious of immigrant. However, I had done what I could done--book return ticket, left my son in China. I guess that was what proved them that I didn't intent to adjust my status but going to wait for long visa procedure. The POE was super nice, Gene, the POE, she actually checked my husband out for me to see whether he was the kind of upright man or not. She told me that she was going to decline me if she found out that my husband wasn't a sincere guy to marry to. I really perceived this as God's test because that we were so easy to tell lie just to make things easy, but I chose not to and God still allowed it to happen for us. So, another affirmation of God's will for us to be together. Our first prayer which had been affirmed was my B2 visa application. I went across the interview without telling lies and, the visa was approved in about five minutes. I guess that was meant to be, and thanks to my good communication skill. I took English as profession since secondary school and after graduation, I took another three years on English to get my associate degree. I enjoy learning language pretty much and now I am working on my French. :)

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