Jump to content

Dating websites for Finding an American man


steppinthrax
 Share

Recommended Posts

My wife's cousin want's to find an American man and eventually move to the U.S. to live with him. My wife indicated that some of her friends have used Match.com and Date.com???? I understand that those sites cost around 15 or so a month. What other sites are there for this type of situation. Reliability is a question because one of my wife's friends used a few sites where she was catfished multiple times....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

What do you mean by "catshished multiple times"?

Sorry, I meant Catfished...

 

People who pretend to be someone who they aren't online. Usually for purposes of fraud (i.e. obtaining money etc....))

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catfished

 

Sorry about my quick reply with the misspelling.

 

I believe that all of us men here at CFL have been around this block once maybe more and all have an opinion about your question. Here's mine...

 

US dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony etc are typically Americans (westerners) looking for an American mate or date. If your wife's cousin is fluent in both written and spoken English, I would suggest that she join any of these sites. I would not recommend her joining if she uses a translator service to read, write and catch someone for her. Those who use those services usually do so through Chinalovelinks.com, AsianFriendFinders or any number of sites that try to hook up an Asian woman with a western man through any means possible.

 

If money is an issue for her, some sites give price breaks to the ladies.

You should know that your wife's cousin and millions of other Chinese women are looking for the same goal. The competition is truly unreal.

 

There really is no simple one answer fits all to the OPs question. A little more information would help as to her age, children status, and English literacy might help giving a more appropriate answer too.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

What do you mean by "catshished multiple times"?

Sorry, I meant Catfished...

 

People who pretend to be someone who they aren't online. Usually for purposes of fraud (i.e. obtaining money etc....))

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catfished

 

Sorry about my quick reply with the misspelling.

 

I believe that all of us men here at CFL have been around this block once maybe more and all have an opinion about your question. Here's mine...

 

US dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony etc are typically Americans (westerners) looking for an American mate or date. If your wife's cousin is fluent in both written and spoken English, I would suggest that she join any of these sites. I would not recommend her joining if she uses a translator service to read, write and catch someone for her. Those who use those services usually do so through Chinalovelinks.com, AsianFriendFinders or any number of sites that try to hook up an Asian woman with a western man through any means possible.

 

If money is an issue for her, some sites give price breaks to the ladies.

You should know that your wife's cousin and millions of other Chinese women are looking for the same goal. The competition is truly unreal.

 

There really is no simple one answer fits all to the OPs question. A little more information would help as to her age, children status, and English literacy might help giving a more appropriate answer too.

 

Dennis remember good old Smiling Asia (Eunice). She made many a statement on finding a good Western guy on the net was like hitting the lottery.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

 

What do you mean by "catshished multiple times"?

Sorry, I meant Catfished...

 

People who pretend to be someone who they aren't online. Usually for purposes of fraud (i.e. obtaining money etc....))

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catfished

 

Sorry about my quick reply with the misspelling.

 

I believe that all of us men here at CFL have been around this block once maybe more and all have an opinion about your question. Here's mine...

 

US dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony etc are typically Americans (westerners) looking for an American mate or date. If your wife's cousin is fluent in both written and spoken English, I would suggest that she join any of these sites. I would not recommend her joining if she uses a translator service to read, write and catch someone for her. Those who use those services usually do so through Chinalovelinks.com, AsianFriendFinders or any number of sites that try to hook up an Asian woman with a western man through any means possible.

 

If money is an issue for her, some sites give price breaks to the ladies.

You should know that your wife's cousin and millions of other Chinese women are looking for the same goal. The competition is truly unreal.

 

There really is no simple one answer fits all to the OPs question. A little more information would help as to her age, children status, and English literacy might help giving a more appropriate answer too.

 

Dennis remember good old Smiling Asia (Eunice). She made many a statement on finding a good Western guy on the net was like hitting the lottery.

 

 

 

Thomas/Dennis:

 

Yes, Eunice made MANY!! good statements here on CFL.

I remember those days back when we all were going down this long visa road.

 

Oh!! The memory's of the old days?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I remember Eunice's answer. I doubt that the OP does and I believe that he deserves an honest answer from those of us who know.

What's the honest answers....

 

How is she a M.O.B??? She's not living in a poor situation etc..... She's of "age"... My wife just suggested this because she wants to have some relatives "here" in the U.S.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Yes, I remember Eunice's answer. I doubt that the OP does and I believe that he deserves an honest answer from those of us who know.

What's the honest answers....

 

How is she a M.O.B??? She's not living in a poor situation etc..... She's of "age"... My wife just suggested this because she wants to have some relatives "here" in the U.S.....

 

 

 

To quote from Dennis' earlier post - "There really is no simple one answer fits all to the OPs question. A little more information would help as to her age, children status, and English literacy might help giving a more appropriate answer too."

 

It's not the web site that she uses that will determine her "catch" - it's how she uses them, how well (and accurately) she portrays herself, and whether she learns to recognize the bottom feeders (pardon the expression).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Yes, I remember Eunice's answer. I doubt that the OP does and I believe that he deserves an honest answer from those of us who know.

What's the honest answers....

 

How is she a M.O.B??? She's not living in a poor situation etc..... She's of "age"... My wife just suggested this because she wants to have some relatives "here" in the U.S.....

 

I am always afraid of these situations. Will she be marring some poor sap just to get close to your wife so that she will have relatives here in the US with her. Your words not mine. Recipe for disaster for my part. She should be looking for a husband to love, cherish and adore her not to use him to move to be close to a relative. I am sorry if I seem callous, I really am not, but it dose set up a predisposition for marriage failure. Just my opinion and that ain't worth much. I do wish her good luck and wish that she is sincere in her pursuit of a real honest to goodness for lifetime husband. If she was lucky enough to find such a person he probably would live a thousand or two thousand miles from your and your wife.

 

We have a member that stops by occasionally that was looking for just such a situation and she finally did hook up but she was expecting a top of the line American man. Young, college educated professional man, good looking with money. I never have heard him say anything about how that all worked out. Perhaps the next time that he comes by I might ask him.

 

Good luck

Larry

 

Edit: I sure do miss Eunice. She told it like it was from a Chinese and an American prospective. She didn't cut either side any slack. If I hadn't been already married I might have taken a leap across the pond to meet her myself. You couldn't BS that ole gal that for sure. She knew what the real deal was. I truly from the bottom of my heart hope that she has found happiness in her life. She helped a lot of folks here from making a mistake and helped a lot of couples get it together.

Edited by amberjack1234 (see edit history)
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, my wife was a mail order bride. :giggle: She, just like many other wives (if the truth ever was told :rotfl: ) was looking for a way to America. I just happened to be the lucky white guy who drove the taxi out of China. :victory: I live in the real world and never deluded myself that it was all love. The love, and great relationship, that all came later....after we got to know each other better than the culmitave year stays from 7 trips. Now some guy living in China long term who met and built up an honest to God long term face to face daily relationship with his gal, that would be a different story. Like everything else in life...ya either makes it, or ya don't. We were lucky.

Yeah, I know, everybody else's wife was hard core stone in love with them when they made their 2 or 3 two week fantasy trips to China to meet their girl. :flowers_and_kisses: :rotfl: Excuse me please, but, yeah right. :yay:

To answer the OP's question, any of the websites will do. I met my gal...er ah...somebody??? on American Singles. com. It just turned out to be Wenyan who rode the train down to Beijing to meet me.

 

 

tsap seui

A mere skeptical taxi driver who wouldn't change a thing about how I met my lil' rabbit :worthy: , and what her original purpose was for meeting me. Somewhere along the long taxi ride we fell in love...neither one of us kids ourselves otherwise. :eyebrow: Actually, it's quite funny....and we do like funny.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife's cousin want's to find an American man and eventually move to the U.S. to live with him. My wife indicated that some of her friends have used Match.com and Date.com???? I understand that those sites cost around 15 or so a month. What other sites are there for this type of situation. Reliability is a question because one of my wife's friends used a few sites where she was catfished multiple times....

Hi Steppinthrax,

 

I'm glad you post the question here. I didn't know much about the dating website, but I hope our folks here provide you some usefully info.

 

I watched a documentary called "mail order bride" on Netflix, it was about American guys seeking Russian brides. They profiled 2 couples, besides the stories from the Russian girls and the American guys, they also added perspectives from the Russian dating agency, this industry in Russia and some worst case happened... I would say to some extend, Russian is similar to China -- Chinese men are losing their heart and soul to money, once they have money, they want power. They are not focus on family life, many Chinese women are disappointed with Chinese men.

 

The American men I see, they put families in a very important place.

 

I wish your wife's friend good luck in this journey!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, my wife was a mail order bride. :giggle: She, just like many other wives (if the truth ever was told :rotfl: ) was looking for a way to America. I just happened to be the lucky white guy who drove the taxi out of China. :victory: I live in the real world and never deluded myself that it was all love. The love, and great relationship, that all came later....after we got to know each other better than the culmitave year stays from 7 trips. Now some guy living in China long term who met and built up an honest to God long term face to face daily relationship with his gal, that would be a different story. Like everything else in life...ya either makes it, or ya don't. We were lucky.

Yeah, I know, everybody else's wife was hard core stone in love with them when they made their 2 or 3 two week fantasy trips to China to meet their girl. :flowers_and_kisses: :rotfl: Excuse me please, but, yeah right. :yay:

To answer the OP's question, any of the websites will do. I met my gal...er ah...somebody??? on American Singles. com. It just turned out to be Wenyan who rode the train down to Beijing to meet me.

 

 

tsap seui

A mere skeptical taxi driver who wouldn't change a thing about how I met my lil' rabbit :worthy: , and what her original purpose was for meeting me. Somewhere along the long taxi ride we fell in love...neither one of us kids ourselves otherwise. :eyebrow: Actually, it's quite funny....and we do like funny.

Ronny, I had you in my mind when I wrote my post. :V: I knew that you have been the exception but I think that you will have to agree that you were VERY, VERY, VERY lucky in the respect that the SOB's that kept you two apart so long :sosad: ALSO did you a favor by allowing the two of you to REALLY get to know each other too. :pash:

 

Another thing that you are right about is that just a few emails and a SKYPE a day is not going to make a Chinese gal fall head over heals in love with you that's for sure and neither is one Fantasy Island trip going to do it either. If anyone thinks so they are just deluding themselves. :nonono: For me this is the reason for many of the marriage failures but not all. What you did RIGHT is that you went over there and spend considerable time with Wenyan each of the 7 trips that you made. :happy2: Not many folks can do that. They have 8-5 jobs that will not allow that to happen. I doubt very much that an employer's would let one of his employees leave on 7 trips for 30 or more days each trip to visit a Chinese gal but you were in a position that you could. Don't you agree? I think that this was one the main reason for your success that you were lucky enough to be able to spend so much time with her and her son before you finally got the powers to be to let her and your son come to the US. :mbounce: But I don't think what you were able to do would work for the average Joe the plumber working stiff. So they just have to take the leap of faith and hope for the best but to marry someone just to get to the US to be close to a relative, for me, is just asking for disaster. :secret: :sweating_buckets: Of course it just might work, as it did you and Weyan, but it would be a LONG shot by any means.

 

Now for me Liren came to the US on a B-2 visa for business and we met on the airplane over here from China. :plane: She was given a 12 months stay on her original visa from Beijing but the immigration guy at San Francisco POE ask her if she didn't think that 6 months would do it and she, shaking in her shoes think if she said no that he would refuse it all together, said yes. :sweating_buckets: So she went to Salt Lake City for 2 months, after we spent a week in SF together seeing the sights and after us keeping in touch with each other she wanted to come to see where I lived. I am thinking to myself that I would like to keep this gal as a friend and if, she being from a very large city like Beijing, ever came to my little fishing village, turned tourist attraction, I would never see or hear from her again. :bye2: I did finally agree and she came and stayed for 4 months. :bounce8: She then had to return to Beijing and fulfill her contract with her boss and their major international company of which she was in integral part of and her visa was expiring. Damn, I wish that she had spoke up and told the guy at her POE that she needed the full 12 months to complete her business trip. Turns out that she absolutely loved it here except for the part of having to depend on a personal car with on public transportation. It was on February the third that she left. I was absolutely heart broken and never thought that I would see her again. :bye2: So on 17 April 2001 three days before my birthday I took off to Beijing and told her that I would be out of town for a couple of days. I was in the snack bar when she got off from work drinking a Coke when she came out of the elevator. Security would not let me go up one of the 10 elevators to her floor where she worked. I slipped out of the building behind her right on her heels, she never turned around even standing waiting for her chauffeur to pick her up. When the car arrived, in just a minute or two I had to bump into her from behind a couple of times to get her to turn around. I thought that she was going to faint when she saw me. :rotfl: Well we had 30 glorious days together and the day that I was to leave she told me that she had a surprise for me that she was coming back to the state with me for 30 days. :guitar: Then in September of that same year I went back to see her for 30 more days. She came back with me on 6 October and we got married here in the US and 2 November. That was 13 wonderful years ago. :angel: Very long story short we were fortunate enough to have right much time to get to know each other too. Even though it was not spread over a period of 7 years of ANGUISH not knowing if they were going to let her immigrate here or not. Everyone is not as lucky as you and I were though.

 

Larry

 

Edit to make some month changes.

Edited by amberjack1234 (see edit history)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...