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Joecy
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We Chinese women are not all the same, but we all grow up using chopsticks, hate to be tanned, taught to obey sons, husbands & authorities, also, almost of us fascinate about America & its people.

 

We fell in love with our American knight, who brought us/planning to bring us to the US, to build a happy-ever-after-brand new life… but the reality hit us hard: language barrier, culture shocks, no friends and parents around, hard to find a job to continue our career, we feel lost…. Meanwhile, our husbands/finances want us to bond with their family and children, which is both exciting and nerve wracking--- how to manage in-laws and step children relationship, while we can’t even understand what they are saying, nor make ourselves understood.

 

Our husbands/finances, on the other hands, see the physical difference we have with western women, but that fundamental culture differences, which result in different way of think, might be hard to discover and understand.

 

We hope through this forum, we Chinese women living in the US can have a platform to share our:

· Immigration challenges

· Culture dilemmas

· Career development in the US

 

We also hope to provide different perspectives to our American loved one on:

· Chinese women’s habit, liking, and mindset.

· Chinese Families/Friend habit, behavior, relationship.

· Anything that puzzles you about Chinese women.

 

We believe in: happy Chinese wife, happy life J

 

Joecy

Edited by Joecy (see edit history)
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Good luck with the new forum.

 

 

Happy Chinese wife, happy life. No truer words have ever been spoken. :victory:

Or just in general, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!!!.... ;-).

 

Great to be back here in Candle for Love. I have been busy since i arrived here in Michigan. Almost finished with school, and now we are expecting a baby girl ;-)...

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Good luck with the new forum.

 

 

Happy Chinese wife, happy life. No truer words have ever been spoken. :victory:

Or just in general, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!!!.... ;-).

 

Great to be back here in Candle for Love. I have been busy since i arrived here in Michigan. Almost finished with school, and now we are expecting a baby girl ;-)...

 

A big congratulations!!!!!! :cheering: :cheering: :cheering: :cheering:

 

Most of us old timers have learned the secret by now of having a happy life with a Chinese spouse but sometimes a little kick in the pants is helpful even for us. Most here help with visa issues but we do get the ones that are having marital troubles as well. Mostly we hear only one side so that is all we have to go by. Most of us try to keep this in mind when we respond with advice but it is still one sided advice. The real problems are all over the board, husbands fault, wife's fault, both at fault, her child's, his child's fault or both at fault, parents fault his or hers or both, cultural issues. Chinese wife can not learn enough english and lives no where around other Chinese girls for friendship, help and advice. There is a lot to overcome. Of course don't let me forget the all important one money. Some American's overstate their wealth and when the Chinese gal gets here she finds out that he want's someone to help him work and get get out of debt and she can't help because she don't know enough english. We had a guy or two just like that right on this forum and the other forum, On the other side of the coin we had a guy that had a Chinese wife here that worked at a Chinese restaurant that was bilking older gentlemen, if you can call them that, out of money. I believe it was $40,000 for just one old gentleman.

 

It's just all over the place as I said. Any one problem can lead to a separation or any combinations of them and usually there are more than one issue. Be advised that if you stay with it long enough you will hear everything under the sun and then some. That's why I don't post much anymore. Actually it was an Englishman gentleman and a Chinese lady that mostly turned me away a long time ago.

 

Good luck all

Larry

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Welcom Larry back home!!!!!!!! Now you have many new brothers and sisters who are bringing you sunlight!! No wonder you look so good today!!!

 

Yajie greeting to you!

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Good luck with the new forum.

 

 

Happy Chinese wife, happy life. No truer words have ever been spoken. :victory:

Or just in general, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!!!.... ;-).

 

Great to be back here in Candle for Love. I have been busy since i arrived here in Michigan. Almost finished with school, and now we are expecting a baby girl ;-)...

 

Congratulations Mrs. Gravestey!! Great News!! Let's hope the baby girls gets her daddy's good looks. :lol:

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Good luck with the new forum.

 

 

Happy Chinese wife, happy life. No truer words have ever been spoken. :victory:

Or just in general, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!!!.... ;-).

 

Great to be back here in Candle for Love. I have been busy since i arrived here in Michigan. Almost finished with school, and now we are expecting a baby girl ;-)...

 

Congratulations Mrs. Gravestey!! Great News!! Let's hope the baby girls gets her daddy's good looks. :lol:

 

Hao Bu Hao,

 

Hahaha, i know, right? Thank you!

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Or just in general, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!!!.... ;-).

 

Great to be back here in Candle for Love. I have been busy since i arrived here in Michigan. Almost finished with school, and now we are expecting a baby girl ;-)...

 

Congratulations, Mrs. Gravestey! There is another one of us on the way to be a new mom, I'll let her announce the news herself ;)

 

Such a good timing to finish your school! What are you studying?

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amberjack1234, on 04 Aug 2014 - 8:17 PM, said:

 

Most of us old timers have learned the secret by now of having a happy life with a Chinese spouse but sometimes a little kick in the pants is helpful even for us.

 

- Please keep sharing your secret, and yes, we all need a little kick, when we start to take things for granted...

 

Most here help with visa issues but we do get the ones that are having marital troubles as well. Mostly we hear only one side so that is all we have to go by. Most of us try to keep this in mind when we respond with advice but it is still one sided advice. The real problems are all over the board, husbands fault, wife's fault, both at fault, her child's, his child's fault or both at fault, parents fault his or hers or both, cultural issues. Chinese wife can not learn enough english and lives no where around other Chinese girls for friendship, help and advice. There is a lot to overcome.

 

- Larry, it's so reassuring for me to hear that, which means I am not crazy! There are lots of challenges for both Chinese women and American guys to work together!! The marriage itself is complicated enough, not to mention adding language+culture on top. We didn't pick a easy path!

 

Of course don't let me forget the all important one money. Some American's overstate their wealth and when the Chinese gal gets here she finds out that he want's someone to help him work and get get out of debt and she can't help because she don't know enough english. We had a guy or two just like that right on this forum and the other forum, On the other side of the coin we had a guy that had a Chinese wife here that worked at a Chinese restaurant that was bilking older gentlemen, if you can call them that, out of money. I believe it was $40,000 for just one old gentleman.

 

 

Yes, money, money, money! Money can't buy love, but money is the foundation of love.

 

Most Chinese women are taught to earn their own living, being a housewife is very very rare and considered very luxurious in China.

 

Hope we can find more ways for Chinese women to make money in the US. Might start with learning English? Might start with restaurant, grocery store, work at casino,taking care of child or seniors...to be a Chinese teacher. Chinese women used to make a lot in China or in high ranking position might start with lowest position or entry level in the US.

 

No single way is easy, US is no place for lazy bones, not even for little beautiful Chinese women!

 

Hope all women can share their experiences of finding a job, education, doing a business, or volunteering experiences with CFL.

 

Work makes woman more beautiful!

 

 

Larry, thank you so much for still posting here!

Chinese women salute you~~~

Edited by Joecy (see edit history)
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Or just in general, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!!!.... ;-).

 

Great to be back here in Candle for Love. I have been busy since i arrived here in Michigan. Almost finished with school, and now we are expecting a baby girl ;-)...

 

Congratulations, Mrs. Gravestey! There is another one of us on the way to be a new mom, I'll let her announce the news herself ;)

 

Such a good timing to finish your school! What are you studying?

 

Congrats, Mrs. Gravestey!! How many weeks are you? When is your due date? My due date is in January, 2015.

 

I am very excited, but anxious being a first time parent. I came to the US in early, 2010, and I have enjoyed all kind of food, American, Mexican, Indian, Greek.....and now I only want authentic Chinese food. I realized how deep my Chinese root is... ;) I have been homesick a lot ever since I am pregnant.

 

A big culture shock I noticed over this weekend, my in-laws came by our house to visit, my mother-in-law and I started talking about the baby, she mentioned that when she had her baby ( my hubby), she didn't get any help, she said her mother visited her and the baby the day they got home from the hospital, and then left in an hour... I explained to her that in China, most of mother-in-law and mother would stay for a few weeks to help out with the newborn and new mom, the new mom will be confined to bed for the whole month...after hearing what I said, she was very shocked...not to mention when I told her that we can't shower or wash hair for at least two weeks. :nonono:

Edited by RubyA (see edit history)
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No man is truly married or happy until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. :secret: :surprise:

Yep, know each other so well, that a look say a 100000 words :gleam:

 

btw, Thomas, I like the "Olive Tree" you recommended, didn't know there's an English version. It's beautiful, bring back many memories.

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