Hello from Florida! Help me out!!!

[david_dawei]

Just to address

 

1. She found me once. She didn't stalk me down, she knew I had a Facebook, but at the original time we met, she didn't have access to it. Some time after we lost contact she ended up being able to access facebook, and new enough about me to find me pretty easily. On my part sifting through myspace to find a Shen, Chen in Shanghai was not that simple. But people make it sound like she is hunting me down, on the prowl for my visa, there is no real reason to believe that. People lose contact, and people find each other again.

 

2. I am going to ditch the lawyer, in favor of the knowledge here.

 

3. Correct me if I am wrong but any co sponsors, even if my income is adequate would be helpful right?

 

4. I plan on consolidating evidence into its most powerful form, but I also plan on presenting the quantity also.

 

5. We are waiting for her to Finish her degree, and it's mainly because its something she WANTS to do, whether it be peace of mind or whatever reason, I told her I would respect any needs she has. I figure we have time on our side as of now and any length from us meeting in person to when we file will just be beneficial?. I would love to marry her, and whatever way it needs to be done, will be done. We are both committed, and understand this wont be easy. I'm here to gather as much information as possible before hand to make educated decisions. From what I have heard the best way to do this would be wait for the K1 visa, but if need be, we have no problem pursuing a k3. It's all about playing the game of chess strategically, as to not play cards when not necessary at the moment.

 

6. With much research, and talking to different groups on the phone, it's actually not very difficult for say a Chinese nurse to become qualified to work here, it's mainly just certification, but she would not be required to retake her classes.

 

 

I am sorry if I come off worried, but I am. I have found someone very dear to me. It should be between (Me, and her) our relationship now has Uncle Sam putting his big boot in, I understand why. I need encouragement, because I tend to beat myself up, because people always look to me for the one with answers, or solutions and right now I don't have any. To be completely honest. I am like you said " I am stuck in overdrive" and I don't know how to stop it? Problem is I am a very goal, and action oriented person. Waiting games get to me, I want to at least have a sailing course, so even if not "sailing" I at least know the details of what needs to be done. I cant help but spend all my time researching material, and the overwhelming presence of everything just gets me lost sometimes. I found someone very dear to me. I want to be with her, but that keeps forcing me I'm trying to sleep, get up and open the computer to read.

 

The real question is, how did all of you do it? How were you able to keep from going nuts with worry? Does it get easier? How do you guys handle shutting the computer and resting?

 

Please keep in mind not to get upset with me, I am moldable, I not set on any path yet. I will do whatever is best, You guys are the experts, I am not. Encourage me, and please educate me.

1. I never said "stalk" and "hunt". I simply said she found you twice... You call it "again"... it's semantics... but there is a reason she finds you again a few years later. You really have no idea how many invites she sends out a year. She has found someone who responded.

 

I once got an invite from a Shanghai lady... I turned her down... laughing. She could not understand why I was laughing and I told her that I would have a hard time explaining to my daughter why I was going to visit someone her own age. She still did not find it funny. She wanted someone to come to Shanghai for a relationship for marriage to as westerner; it is really that simple and pragmatic to her. I told her good-bye and she asked me again nicely if I wanted to come or not...

 

Yes, people find each other again... they don't always end up deciding to marry on the first meeting. I meet a lady many years ago online and then lost her. Almost 2 years later we ran across each other again... she was still 'searching' for someone. I saw she was very kind and honest and open and we talked to no end... but I was not going to go there with someone 'on the search'. But we remained friends... to this day... she is in NY now. Finally found someone to 'come visit her'.

 

There is a subtly in what transpires in these Sino-American relationships... You just are not aware of it yet... but time will be your best teacher.

 

2. Good. Don't hesitate to come and ask but be thoughtful and organized in your thought, as you generally seem to be. It should help to calm you as you see there is method to the filing madness.

 

3. NO. If your financials do not require a co-sponsor the VO will reject any co-sponsor. They only ask for it IF THEY WANT/NEED IT. You can have it on-hand but if your job continues as you shared, there is no need. I would put that worry aside but know you have it covered.

 

4. The evidence should be wide in coverage but quantity is not the issue here. Just be smart about it. If you are a USCIS worker and receive 100 lb petition vs a 5 lb petition... the 100 lb petition obviously doesn't understand the process... they are trying to push an elephant through a doorway. But you are in charge of your case so it is your decision in the end. My advice is to always show them you understand the process and are very organized about it with more than sufficient info without overwhelming them.

 

The first filling is only to USCIS. They only care if you qualify... and you do... There are only about a dozen things to even send... the "extra" stuff most people recommend is NOT for USCIS but in hopes that GUZ sees it prior to an interview to help sway their opinion of the case. While this is useful to do be mindful of two things:

a. Whatever you submit satisfies their wont to understand how and why you meet. This probably helps them profile the case for 'immigrant intention', IMO... the most important question they consider, again IMO, is: Why did they meet and how did they meet... kinda like asking, "who found who under what circumstances". While you can say you meet a few years ago, I am not sure how that helps or not... in fact, if you have absolutely no evidence of having meet a few years ago, what will she do if the VO asks for proof of that online meeting? If nothing can be provided, that is damaging. So realize, any claim you make MUST be able to be proven in some way (ie: they can ask a question based on what you have stated).

b. Your interview is 9 months later; the relationship AFTER you file is sometimes more important to them. How many times did you visit? Do pictures reflect varied locations, outside, with family too, etc.

 

5. Not sure where you heard the best way is to wait for a K1... You should not read any stories about other consulates since none is like GUZ... only stick to their track record. And patterns are cyclic; what was a good strategy a few years ago is not today; and visa verse. What you'll need to consider is whether they will use your age against you. There are cases where they pretty much told the young couple to take their time and get married if your serious... How do they say that? With a denial. But once you go down the K1 road, don't fret any outcome; only plan for tomorrow.

 

6. That's good. I am not trying to talk you out of it just to be realistic. A chinese doctor can't even practice in the US... there are simply limitations in some job transfer skills until they get some classes or certification.

 

Maybe part of it is personality and part maturity or emotion or a sense of the pressure of time... some have come through here and worry that the government is simply keeping them apart and delaying their ability to marry and have a life together... and blames the system... well, that is silly. If one wants to be together then go move to china. The government does not stop USCs (US Citizens) from going overseas, marrying, and living. What it does do is control who can come INTO the US. That is the role of DOS and the consulates are charged with determining if someone is trying to gain access for "immigration benefits". This is a tricky issue which I won't go into deeper unless you ask or start another thread but opinions vary on what this means but I'll simply say that most denials are because they feel the relationship is not 'bonafide' and then most scream and yell that their relationship is indeed true ! This is not what the government is saying really. It is more like they are saying that the person entered the relationship with a motivation of going to the US; although they may truly have feelings for you; but the evidence gives them a sense of their motivation for the relationship.

 

I personally just don't worry too much about things. Worry can't control the outcome but it can tear you inside out. I don't find much use for it. I was very strategic knowing my own case and the climate at GUZ. I visited 6 times, then we married in China, then filed... by the time of the interview we had 9 trips together and almost 2 years of communication. Despite all that, it turns out at the interview we were marked for denial; most likely because I had a past relationship with a chinese lady. I knew this would be the problem in my case and planned around it. My story is told in detail at the site at other links so I won't go on here. We did pass but because my wife had absolutely no worry herself and gave an answer to every question in the 40 minutes she was grilled. She knew me inside-out, down to where I was born, grew up, lived, worked in various cities, child, their birthdays, etc... There is a lot to discuss over 2 years which is of practical use.

[Bparks777]

So my question? We technically did meet 3 years ago, but I don't think we can even prove that. So do I start from where we picked back up with no mention of previous events?

 

We started talking again consistantly again in May 2011, I will file for the petition I'm lookin at the end of August-December. I am planning on properly proposing to her with a ring and everything in August. So by the time our interview rolls around we would have about 2 years of consistant daily communication, with plenty of evidence. including probably 6 or so trips of me visiting.

 

I keep on trying to explain to myself, that the consulates at GUZ are logical, reasonable people. I tell myself that, we both are clean no records, we have a legit relationship, have nothing to hide, no kids, no previous spouses, no previous petitions, our age is similiar, she speaks perfect English, we waited, and took our time, have financial support, family support, and that we are simply two people that happen to love eachother, we dont really raise any red flags, and with proper preparing we have nothing to worry about.

 

So in your honest opinion, with proper preparing, and utilization of info and support here. We will be just fine don't you think?

 

Whether it be her going through her k1 visa the first time, or us resorting to using a cr-1 / k3 of some sort. Reason we wanted to use a k1 was becaus it would allow extra time for planning, and we could put together 2 nice ceremonies.

 

But just for my minds sake, I think this is a solid case, and we will be fine?

Edited February 22, 2012 by Bparks777 (see edit history)

[honeybun]

I think you have a solid case.

 

As for what to think of GUZ, all you can do is expect them to be logical and reasonable. You have little alternative but to present a case that is honest and makes as much sense as possible to a reasonable person.

 

About whether to mention the previous online "meeting," I would say to include it only if you don't feel right explaining the beginning of your relationship in a way that makes sense without this "rekindling."

 

My situation with my wife was a little bit similar. We met in China in 2005 at a university (young like you guys, my wife was only 18), but were only friends and were not in contact at all for at least a half year after I left China. After that, we started communicating sporadically, after I emailed her to see how she had been doing. We started talking more and more, and the next time I came back to China to visit friends she caught me in a net she had started weaving (see David Dawei's post above; I'll add that, with young Chinese people, they see relationships as serious very quickly, as I'm sure you know ). When we applied for her K-1 visa in Summer-Fall 2008, I did mention our original meeting. It made a lot of sense to me, and I had some pictures of us together looking quite a bit younger and spending time together with some of our other friends. However, none of the pictures had dates printed on them (all hand-written by me), and I submitted no proof of us actually being at the same university at the same period in time. Looking back, all these things could have gotten us in trouble, but I wasn't aware of this website when I did our initial filing. We thankfully made it through with no problems, and she is getting ready to apply for citizenship this summer.

[Bparks777]

I just want to take a moment to really thank all of you.

 

Even though we are strangers you guys have been the source for a lot of my comfort. I know I came off as freaking out, I was. Who can blame me? My life, and priorities have changed so drastically. It can go a bit ballistic in the head.

 

Thanks for your support, and thank you for the knowledge.

I am taking this slow, and will be sure to make this case as organized and logical as humanly possible. I know we will be together, we are dedicated and understand it may take some time. We understand the first time around may not go as we hope, and that this process may get messy. I wish you all could meet her.

 

As of now I am trying to stop worrying so much, and I am just simply enjoying knowing I have a wonderful woman, and taking happiness in that we are together, and that even if there is distance that's simply logistical.

 

Once again thank you all, and thanks in advance for all the help, support, and encouragement you will offer in the future.

 

With love, and hope.

-Brian

Edited February 22, 2012 by Bparks777 (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

I just want to take a moment to really thank all of you.

 

Even though we are strangers you guys have been the source for a lot of my comfort. I know I came off as freaking out, I was. Who can blame me? My life, and priorities have changed so drastically. It can go a bit ballistic in the head.

 

Thanks for your support, and thank you for the knowledge.

I am taking this slow, and will be sure to make this case as organized and logical as humanly possible. I know we will be together, we are dedicated and understand it may take some time. We understand the first time around may not go as we hope, and that this process may get messy. I wish you all could meet her.

 

As of now I am trying to stop worrying so much, and I am just simply enjoying knowing I have a wonderful woman, and taking happiness in that we are together, and that even if there is distance that's simply logistical.

 

Once again thank you all, and thanks in advance for all the help, support, and encouragement you will offer in the future.

 

With love, and hope.

-Brian

Ok... Thankful Fluff accepted... now Focus... welcome to CFL

[Randy W]

. . .

 

As for what to think of GUZ, all you can do is expect them to be logical and reasonable. You have little alternative but to present a case that is honest and makes as much sense as possible to a reasonable person.

 

. . .

 

 

This reflects my own feelings exactly. It's helpful to spot and be aware of "trends" and how they may affect your own case, but it's much more important to treat it like you may just get a fair shake. Present your case on its own merits, and keep an eye on the overall picture that you present.

[david_dawei]

. . .

 

As for what to think of GUZ, all you can do is expect them to be logical and reasonable. You have little alternative but to present a case that is honest and makes as much sense as possible to a reasonable person.

 

. . .

 

 

This reflects my own feelings exactly. It's helpful to spot and be aware of "trends" and how they may affect your own case, but it's much more important to treat it like you may just get a fair shake. Present your case on its own merits, and keep an eye on the overall picture that you present.

I agree with the advice given on this but that is maybe the easy part; to hope they are reasonable and logical and going to give a fair shake.

 

The difficult part is one evaluating their own case as objectively as possible and presenting a reasonable and logical case which satisfies a VO... Many think they need to show two love birds flying to incredible heights and soar on the clouds. A VO may not really care about your love life if they have some concern about the way the relationship started.

 

One example: The logical side of the VO may include an understanding of how the couple meet towards making a determination about whether immigration benefits are being sought as part of the relationship. I am personally not sure how they can really determine that so easy but this is the gist of what they are charged with, and the meaning of a not bonafide relationship in most cases.

 

The more I ponder my own case the more it seems they are profiling for reasons that determining such things are not so easy... We had one of the most solid cases and her 40 minute Q&A to answer very detailed questions proved it... but the fact is, it seems they really expected to find a reason to deny us.

 

But as you guys are saying: In the end, the VO was reasonable and issued a visa as she ultimately could not find a problem to base the denial on. BUT... if we had not meticulously prepared, followed a few gut reactions and put ourselves in the VOs seat to consider what was going to come our way, we might of had a different result.

 

I don't think everyone has to be so meticulous. It still goes back to one has to objectively know their own case and to know trends and VO questions/concerns certainly helps.

[Randy W]

Yes - just don't lose sight of your own case. Addressing "concerns" and/or "trends" CAN come across as making excuses, insincerity, or even pointing out your own flaws, if you're not careful. A case which stands on its own merits, while preparing for any adversity stands the best chance, as you found out. You HAVE to allow for the VERY real possibility that you MAY just get a fair shake.

[Bparks777]

A question?

 

See we met on a fun little anonymous chat room. We hit it off, exchanged info, and started talking on a regular basis on myspace. My account was hacked, and some very inappropriate emails were sent out. In my attempt to stop them from reaching their destinations I deleted my account, meanwhile out of the rush to stop the emails, I forgot to write down her info.

 

At the time she didn't have access to Facebook, but she knew some basic info about me, where I lived, my name, etc. Fast forward a couple years, she now has a Facebook, and probably about 6 months after registering she messaged me, I added her as a friend, we started talking again, I visited her to experience the Chinese New Year, and thus sparked a relationship.

 

I do not have evidence of an initial meeting, how would you guys suggest I present that aspect? The only real thing I can prove is that a girl from Shanghai messaged me in May 2011. Would it come off as fishy if I just simply explained what happen? Losing contact, then regaining contact?

Edited February 24, 2012 by Bparks777 (see edit history)

[Randy W]

A question?

 

See we met on a fun little anonymous chat room. We hit it off, exchanged info, and started talking on a regular basis on myspace. My account was hacked, and some very inappropriate emails were sent out. In my attempt to stop them from reaching their destinations I deleted my account, meanwhile out of the rush to stop the emails, I forgot to write down her info.

 

At the time she didn't have access to Facebook, but she knew some basic info about me, where I lived, my name, etc. Fast forward a couple years, she now has a Facebook, and probably about 6 months after registering she messaged me, I added her as a friend, we started talking again, I visited her to experience the Chinese New Year, and thus sparked a relationship.

 

I do not have evidence of an initial meeting, how would you guys suggest I present that aspect? The only real thing I can prove is that a girl from Shanghai messaged me in May 2011. Would it come off as fishy if I just simply explained what happen? Losing contact, then regaining contact?

 

Like I've said, explanations often come across as excuses. You might mention it as an initial contact, which was resumed later on Facebook. No reason at all to paint it as a disconnect of any kind. It's your choice - just remember that you want to paint a picture of what you've got.

 

The information you give here is a believable explanation, but, in my judgement, needlessly distracts from your story.

Edited February 24, 2012 by Randy W (see edit history)

[Bparks777]

A question?

 

See we met on a fun little anonymous chat room. We hit it off, exchanged info, and started talking on a regular basis on myspace. My account was hacked, and some very inappropriate emails were sent out. In my attempt to stop them from reaching their destinations I deleted my account, meanwhile out of the rush to stop the emails, I forgot to write down her info.

 

At the time she didn't have access to Facebook, but she knew some basic info about me, where I lived, my name, etc. Fast forward a couple years, she now has a Facebook, and probably about 6 months after registering she messaged me, I added her as a friend, we started talking again, I visited her to experience the Chinese New Year, and thus sparked a relationship.

 

I do not have evidence of an initial meeting, how would you guys suggest I present that aspect? The only real thing I can prove is that a girl from Shanghai messaged me in May 2011. Would it come off as fishy if I just simply explained what happen? Losing contact, then regaining contact?

 

Like I've said, explanations often come across as excuses. You might mention it as an initial contact, which was resumed later on Facebook. No reason at all to paint it as a disconnect of any kind. It's your choice - just remember that you want to paint a picture of what you've got.

 

The information you give here is a believable explanation, but, in my judgement, needlessly distracts from your story.

 

Oh ok, sorry I wasn't really following on this matter.

 

So if I were to pretty much explain that "we met on a fun anonymous chat site, exchanged info, continued speaking on myspace, which then later transcended to us speaking on FaceBook, we became more interested in each other, leading to our first meeting in Shanghai and so on". Rather than drawing attention to the fact that we lost contact. Just illustrate the course our communication has taken. Point is to give what is asked, summarizing, and not over answering a question right?

 

Sorry I wasn't completely following on your earlier tips.

Edited February 25, 2012 by Bparks777 (see edit history)

[Randy W]

A question?

 

See we met on a fun little anonymous chat room. We hit it off, exchanged info, and started talking on a regular basis on myspace. My account was hacked, and some very inappropriate emails were sent out. In my attempt to stop them from reaching their destinations I deleted my account, meanwhile out of the rush to stop the emails, I forgot to write down her info.

 

At the time she didn't have access to Facebook, but she knew some basic info about me, where I lived, my name, etc. Fast forward a couple years, she now has a Facebook, and probably about 6 months after registering she messaged me, I added her as a friend, we started talking again, I visited her to experience the Chinese New Year, and thus sparked a relationship.

 

I do not have evidence of an initial meeting, how would you guys suggest I present that aspect? The only real thing I can prove is that a girl from Shanghai messaged me in May 2011. Would it come off as fishy if I just simply explained what happen? Losing contact, then regaining contact?

 

Like I've said, explanations often come across as excuses. You might mention it as an initial contact, which was resumed later on Facebook. No reason at all to paint it as a disconnect of any kind. It's your choice - just remember that you want to paint a picture of what you've got.

 

The information you give here is a believable explanation, but, in my judgement, needlessly distracts from your story.

 

Oh ok, sorry I wasn't really following on this matter.

 

So if I were to pretty much explain that "we met on a fun anonymous chat site, exchanged info, continued speaking on myspace, which then later transcended to us speaking on FaceBook, we became more interested in each other, leading to our first meeting in Shanghai and so on". Rather than drawing attention to the fact that we lost contact. Just illustrate the course our communication has taken. Point is to give what is asked, summarizing, and not over answering a question right?

 

Sorry I wasn't completely following on your earlier tips.

 

Yes - exactly. Sorting of like re-connecting with an old friend, with it then developing into romance.

[Amaro]

I met my wife on skype. In a letter I explained that we spoke everyday and I eventually booked a ticket to go visit her. Long story short.

[Bparks777]

Perfect, thanks for the advice. Im feeling more and more confident in our case .

 

After some thinking and talking about timing, we decided to start the petition in August - December. By the time we have our interview come around, we will have known each other for near 5 years, and would have been romantically involved for about 1 1/2 years. Given our situation, I cant think of any reason they could find to deny us a K1.

 

With proper planning, and patience this can only go right, again thanks for the all the help, now and future.

[tsap seui]

You'll do okay man. Take your time.....Guangzhou likes to see time. The paperwork isn't hard, you just need to know what to send. That is taught right here on Candle.

 

The rest is L U C K

 

Good luck

 

tsap seui