HELP!!!

[jst]

Hello All,

 

First off, thanks to all who may offer help. I have a 3 part question. Well, perhaps it's really 3 questions and maybe more as I type.

 

I will give some of my history so all of this will make sense. I am caucasian and born here in the USA.

 

About me, I was married to a lady in Vietnam, A complete disaster. I met the worst person I think Vietnam has to offer. She was a complete fake. I cought her having an affair with a friend of mine. Believe me, that nothing compaired to the other stuff she did to me. She was just evil. I met her online. A lot of my vietnamese friends here told me to be very careful. She was good, good at fooling me. It was one of her girlfriends she met here that finally told me the truth about her, this lady just felt bad for me. She was just looking for a green card. I found out all of this before the 2 year card was up, lucky for me. I am not blaming the world and am not looking at all ladies as being the same way, but I am just being more careful. I actually would never marry anyone in the USA, personal reasons. I prefer asian women. I am 39, fairly good looking (I've been told be many asian friends here in the USA) and somewhat successful. The only reason I say this is because her and I are fairly close in age, (well, about 10 years different). I'm not 60 and she is 19. For me, I have always thought 10 years was to much but I met someone I really like talking with. The new lady I met also has so much in common with me.

 

So now, I am single and have once again met a lady on the internet, yes I am brave. She lives in a large port city. Not Beijing or Shanghai, can't remember it now.

 

Now I am going to get into my questions

 

1) As most of you, you met your ladies on the internet. How long after you met do you slowly start the topic of marriage.. I met the lady on chinalovematch.com. So now knowing we are both there looking to meet someone for marriage, we've been spending 4+ hours chatting and talking on the phone daily. We webcam as well. She has a great job. It matcheswhat I am looking to do, I am self-employeed. She has a car, lives with her parents and seems to be very intelligent. We've been going on like this for several weeks. Yes, a bit soon to be talking about marriage but we talk a lot about what if. What if we meet and like each other. We talk about her coming to the US to see things here, both knowing the only way she can come here is by marriage. Just wondering how long until these things started coming into discussions with the ladies you met? We have talked about the visa process latley, I explained it all to her. She was surprised how long it took. She knew it was hard.

 

Next question, How many on this site got married and found out she was only chasing a visa. I know it happens but I wonder how often in China. Vietnam, very often. I hear Chinese women are much more serious about marriage.

 

Ok, I like to be through and ready for any situation. I will continue with her for a month or so and if things go well , I will fly to China for Face to face. If it also goes well, I will propose. If not, I won't. Somehow if I do propose, I would want to start the process quick. She also agrees with me. So onto next question.

 

I know china is so hard for visa, K1 and K3. I hear it's 50/50. In guz, which is easier K1 or K3. If I start this process, I don't want delays.

 

Perhaps would I be better off going to HK, Korea, Thailand or Singapore to get married and file through one of those?

 

With my ex, I did the entire process with no attorney. She passed with no problem. Had letters from my parents as well. My father is very high with Dept of Defense. Don't know if that helped. I don't think I could ask there support again because of my last experience.

 

Question, Does anyone here have an attorney and still run into problems in Guz, China. I found an attorney in California who specializes in visas from China. He swears he know all of the people in Guz. He knows the ups and down and knows the way things are done there. He agrees, china is number 2 as the hardest for Visa. For me, it would be worth it to hire him if things go smoother. Just looking for some input. He says he has 100% success but also thinks may be better to go to thailand or HK.

 

Not sure where things will go with her but I do want to be informed.

 

Well, I hope I have not bored you to much. Any input would be helpful.

 

Thanks

JST

[david_dawei]

welcome to CFL...

 

The vietnamese relationship is not too relevant in terms of what you think she may or may not of done. Scammer or not, etc. The government will see it as a relationship which did not last; the reasons for not lasting will be very difficult to prove conclusively with solid evidence, so there is not much need to rant on about it.

 

The problem it *may* pose is that of appearing to be a trend in marrying asian ladies [who end up with a greencard]. So, the fact of the relationship could come into questioning at the interview for whatever visa you pursue. In this case, it may put some burden on your next lady to answer to it!

 

This can be a delicate matter since some chinese are not that interested in details of your past relationships and rather let the 'past be the past'.. so keep this in mind for later decision making. But you may want to include some factual information about the first relationship in the petition; brief and timeline like.

 

1. Discussion/decision of marriage: This varies widely. Even if you go K1, it's a foregone conclusion you will marry; so to discuss the K1 is to indirectly discuss getting married. You seem ready to rush this relationship to filing if both sides agree... So, I would simply say that this is probably in the norm; most simply want to file quickly; ergo, they often are ready to decide on the first face to face if it's a go or not. Which means they have probably discussed that possibility prior to the meeting in chats... Some have gotten married on the first meeting.

 

On the one hand, the longer you wait, the more sure you might be about the long term stability of the relationship; on the other hand, I am of the opinion that most chinese ladies (particularly on the internet) are ready quickly (that's why they are on the internet looking!)... and dragging out the relationship is not what they necessary want; If the feeling is there, most want to just file. This is a personal decision since you live with the final decision.

 

2. visa chasers... there is little statistics on this and most reports are all after the fact and hurt feelings often will wronly blame scamming. I would say the scammers are out there but few. Relationships sometimes don't work out.

 

I would say that most chinese are serious about relationships and don't want to simply do this singularly for the greencard. They may not actually feel a deep connection at first, but they are online to better their life and will probably take any decent appearing guy who comes along; so don't be disillusioned about being the "one"... you are simply the one she is talking to now. Realize a relationship takes years to really develop and you'll likely not know until about 3 years if it's really stable (oh, yes.. that about coincides with the 10 year greencard by the way)...

 

3. Which visa is easier? This is debateable on a few levels the last year has been harder all around.

 

Historically, the K1 is easier and faster; I'm sure that is why most pursue it. You can file immediately after the first meeting. It's a faster track through all the agencies. Once here, she can get a Social Security card but cannot work till she gets work authorization, so most file this at same time as greencard.

 

The K3 (pursued by filing a I-129F) is an optional filing AFTER the mandatory filing of the I-130 (which leads to a CR1). Both are for married situations. Historically, the K3 is faster but the gap is shrinking to almost no big diff... but the CR1 is (in my opinion) better to pursue since it comes with arrival to the US with a greencard. The K3 follows a path more like the K1 and then once in the US has to file for the greencard. The K3 can travel overseas but not work.

 

The bigger question about delays are probably in regards to the relationship; meaning, it's the two people involved that cause the delays, not really the petition and visas. Your background and her background, and how you meet, and what the relationship appears like are the influencial issues. There are a few 'hot' cities which might cause more concern to the consulate as well. You need to weight all this; the problem is, most don't know these issues till into the process and therefore were unable to possibly address any of them in the initial petition (because they want to rush to file).

 

4. Generally yes.. better to get married in HK and get the K3 interview there. It is quite a bit faster too. Only delay is you must marry and then file the I-130, then upon receipt of that received, you can file the I-129F for the K3... visa interview will be in HK.

 

5. Attorneys; I don't know that I've ever heard an attorney who truly knows GUZ. Most who use an attorney report they slow them down or cause problems. A very large majority do not use an attorney. I rarely ever recommend one based on all the problems reported here.

 

If I were considering an attorney who claimed to know GUZ, I would ask the following questions to test them:

1. Historically, which visa is faster and easier and why?

2. Has there been any noticeable trends in the last year concerning vias approvals? If yes, what are the reasons?

3. What flags does the consulate look for?

4. Which cities (of the chinese person) pose concern to the consulate? Why?

5. What are reasons for a blue slip and what should I do if I get one?

6. What are reasons for a white slip and what should I do if I get one?

7. 100% success where? How many actually through GUZ and how many in the last year?

 

if an attorney got through all these questions satisfactorily to me, I'd consider them. Otherwise, they most likely they just know how to file a petition to USCIS (as most attorney's do) but don't really know how GUZ operates (as most attorney's don't). Then your better off with CFL.

 

If your lady really wants someone in china to help her, there are some who do this. May depend on her location (but you've not mentioned her city yet).

[Tom and Ling]

welcome to CFL...

 

The vietnamese relationship is not too relevant in terms of what you think she may or may not of done. Scammer or not, etc. The government will see it as a relationship which did not last; the reasons for not lasting will be very difficult to prove conclusively with solid evidence, so there is not much need to rant on about it.

 

The problem it *may* pose is that of appearing to be a trend in marrying asian ladies [who end up with a greencard]. So, the fact of the relationship could come into questioning at the interview for whatever visa you pursue. In this case, it may put some burden on your next lady to answer to it!

 

This can be a delicate matter since some chinese are not that interested in details of your past relationships and rather let the 'past be the past'.. so keep this in mind for later decision making. But you may want to include some factual information about the first relationship in the petition; brief and timeline like.

 

1. Discussion/decision of marriage: This varies widely. Even if you go K1, it's a foregone conclusion you will marry; so to discuss the K1 is to indirectly discuss getting married. You seem ready to rush this relationship to filing if both sides agree... So, I would simply say that this is probably in the norm; most simply want to file quickly; ergo, they often are ready to decide on the first face to face if it's a go or not. Which means they have probably discussed that possibility prior to the meeting in chats... Some have gotten married on the first meeting.

 

On the one hand, the longer you wait, the more sure you might be about the long term stability of the relationship; on the other hand, I am of the opinion that most chinese ladies (particularly on the internet) are ready quickly (that's why they are on the internet looking!)... and dragging out the relationship is not what they necessary want; If the feeling is there, most want to just file. This is a personal decision since you live with the final decision.

 

2. visa chasers... there is little statistics on this and most reports are all after the fact and hurt feelings often will wronly blame scamming. I would say the scammers are out there but few. Relationships sometimes don't work out.

 

I would say that most chinese are serious about relationships and don't want to simply do this singularly for the greencard. They may not actually feel a deep connection at first, but they are online to better their life and will probably take any decent appearing guy who comes along; so don't be disillusioned about being the "one"... you are simply the one she is talking to now. Realize a relationship takes years to really develop and you'll likely not know until about 3 years if it's really stable (oh, yes.. that about coincides with the 10 year greencard by the way)...

 

3. Which visa is easier? This is debateable on a few levels the last year has been harder all around.

 

Historically, the K1 is easier and faster; I'm sure that is why most pursue it. You can file immediately after the first meeting. It's a faster track through all the agencies. Once here, she can get a Social Security card but cannot work till she gets work authorization, so most file this at same time as greencard.

 

The K3 (pursued by filing a I-129F) is an optional filing AFTER the mandatory filing of the I-130 (which leads to a CR1). Both are for married situations. Historically, the K3 is faster but the gap is shrinking to almost no big diff... but the CR1 is (in my opinion) better to pursue since it comes with arrival to the US with a greencard. The K3 follows a path more like the K1 and then once in the US has to file for the greencard. The K3 can travel overseas but not work.

 

The bigger question about delays are probably in regards to the relationship; meaning, it's the two people involved that cause the delays, not really the petition and visas. Your background and her background, and how you meet, and what the relationship appears like are the influencial issues. There are a few 'hot' cities which might cause more concern to the consulate as well. You need to weight all this; the problem is, most don't know these issues till into the process and therefore were unable to possibly address any of them in the initial petition (because they want to rush to file).

 

4. Generally yes.. better to get married in HK and get the K3 interview there. It is quite a bit faster too. Only delay is you must marry and then file the I-130, then upon receipt of that received, you can file the I-129F for the K3... visa interview will be in HK.

 

5. Attorneys; I don't know that I've ever heard an attorney who truly knows GUZ. Most who use an attorney report they slow them down or cause problems. A very large majority do not use an attorney. I rarely ever recommend one based on all the problems reported here.

 

If I were considering an attorney who claimed to know GUZ, I would ask the following questions to test them:

1. Historically, which visa is faster and easier and why?

2. Has there been any noticeable trends in the last year concerning vias approvals? If yes, what are the reasons?

3. What flags does the consulate look for?

4. Which cities (of the chinese person) pose concern to the consulate? Why?

5. What are reasons for a blue slip and what should I do if I get one?

6. What are reasons for a white slip and what should I do if I get one?

7. 100% success where? How many actually through GUZ and how many in the last year?

 

if an attorney got through all these questions satisfactorily to me, I'd consider them. Otherwise, they most likely they just know how to file a petition to USCIS (as most attorney's do) but don't really know how GUZ operates (as most attorney's don't). Then your better off with CFL.

 

If your lady really wants someone in china to help her, there are some who do this. May depend on her location (but you've not mentioned her city yet).

 

 

Hi Jst,

 

I agree with what DavidZixuan says...........

 

But Ling and I met on the internet in August of 2007 and we married in March of 2008.

I don't think you can know someone in less than 6 months.

So if you and your gal plan to get married....give it at lest 8 months.

Too often people have gotten married in such a short time that the VO's have questioned the marriage.

So don't jump into a marriage too fast. Go visit but don't marry unless it has been at least 8 months.

Do you want to apply for a fiance visa or do you want to marry???

 

And how long does each visa take...depends on which Service Center processes your petition.

Cal. Service Center is probably twice as fast as the Vermont Service Center. Vermont is quite slow.

 

Tom and Ling

[jst]

Thanks to the answers, sure does bring some things together.

 

To start, she is from Shandong provance and the city is Weihai. Not sure if this is a red flag city or not.

 

As for me, I went on to a site with the intention or marriage, I'm not looking to rush things but if I find someone I feel can work out I would like to move forward. I know that is also her intention since the place we met is a site introducing people looking for marriage. So I guess I do understand things from a chinese ladies point of view as far as not draging things out. I just think, upon our first face to face, I may be able to decide that this is the path I choose to take. I may not. I just need to go there and see how it is between us. If it is, I want to have all of my ducks in a row.

 

As for my ex. She did not end up with her green card. I found out everything about 6 months before her 10 year card. I immediatly ended it, in about 3 weeks it was over. She is trying to get her 10 year card on her own. I don't think she will get it. I am not trying to stop it, which I do have A LOT of proof of her affair. Pictures of her in the sack with another man. I just don't want this to hurt my furture chances.

 

I have questioned this attorney to the extent of the questions you asked me, He seemed to really know the answers to the question I asked, never any "I'll get back to you on that". I'm not one for an attorney but if it helps, it's worth it. By the same token, if it hurts, I will stay away.

 

I am glad to hear the boost about Chinese ladies. I guess after being told by a friend of my ex "she had 4 people she was engaged to, you were just the first one to show up and apply for the visa for her" this kind of thing makes one a bit worried. I guess I like reading people who have stayed together as those who did not.

 

 

Thanks for the answers again

 

JST

[Tom and Ling]

Thanks to the answers, sure does bring some things together.

 

To start, she is from Shandong provance and the city is Weihai. Not sure if this is a red flag city or not.

 

I am glad to hear the boost about Chinese ladies. I guess after being told by a friend of my ex "she had 4 people she was engaged to, you were just the first one to show up and apply for the visa for her" this kind of thing makes one a bit worried. I guess I like reading people who have stayed together as those who did not.

 

 

Thanks for the answers again

 

JST

 

Hi JST,

 

Most of us have gone on sites that are for marriage.

Chinese women are different..For most Chinese women they are family oriented and most are looking for a better life in the US.

There are still scammers in China...so like I said "don't rush in to anything...give it atleast 6 months.

If you get engaged or married, get plenty of pictures. If you get married have atleast a wedding dinner with lots of pictures.

How is your Chinese and how is her English???

If her English is not so good, I suggest that you buy an Electronic translator when you are over there and when you file for whatever petition you will apply for write a "letter of evolution of relationship" where you say that you partly communicate with an electronic translator, if her english is not so good.

 

There is plenty of advice people can give you here...so just ask..

 

Tom and Ling

[Guest jin979]

my advice dont rush and marry first visit. take time to get to know eachother build real understanding and relationship.

Also i will tell. the men here wont real chinese women looking for marriage will not let you down if you dont her. be true be honest be 100% and be ready to accept change. it is 2 cultures colliding and melting together. marriage is a serious thing to a chinese women, most important be ready for our moods and challeges.

just ask Rob, David, Don,Trigg,,Carl,Dennis and many others but not Mikey (the monkey king of CFL)

true love is totally required correct guys ?

[Tom and Ling]

my advice dont rush and marry first visit. take time to get to know eachother build real understanding and relationship.

Also i will tell. the men here wont real chinese women looking for marriage will not let you down if you dont her. be true be honest be 100% and be ready to accept change. it is 2 cultures colliding and melting together. marriage is a serious thing to a chinese women, most important be ready for our moods and challeges.

just ask Rob, David, Don,Trigg,,Carl,Dennis and many others but not Mikey (the monkey king of CFL)

true love is totally required correct guys ?

 

Hi Jin,

 

You put it so well.............

 

Tom and Ling

[jst]

Thanks all,

 

Finding help from other people going thru the process in China is helpful.

 

I will start by saying, he english is very good, almost perfect. She studied english and uses it daily with her work, import/export. She talks with english speaking buyers a lot. She only needs some everyday situation type of learning. I am really glad for this.

 

In some ways I am starting to feel comfortable she is seeking real love and not a visa. This was a big concern of mine. I still need the face to face to help more. She seems to start to include me in daily life. As far as with her mother whom she is very close with, she is talking to her about me a lot more. One thing is, she has never been a part of the Chinese Communist Party. Goog

 

I guess this is a whole new experience for me as I am really learning the Chinese culture. I have always spent my time with asian people, Somehow I know China and Vietnam are so close but I am seeing so many differences though. The differences I am seeing are so good.

 

I will continue to keep on track with her as I am hoping things will eventually work out, she seem like the sweetest person I met. I just really cannot believe how much we have in common. It seems like everytime she tells me something, it is so much the same as me.

 

Well, once again, thanks for the replys

 

JST

[Tom and Ling]

Thanks all,

 

Finding help from other people going thru the process in China is helpful.

 

I will start by saying, he english is very good, almost perfect. She studied english and uses it daily with her work, import/export. She talks with english speaking buyers a lot. She only needs some everyday situation type of learning. I am really glad for this.

 

In some ways I am starting to feel comfortable she is seeking real love and not a visa. This was a big concern of mine. I still need the face to face to help more. She seems to start to include me in daily life. As far as with her mother whom she is very close with, she is talking to her about me a lot more. One thing is, she has never been a part of the Chinese Communist Party. Goog

 

I guess this is a whole new experience for me as I am really learning the Chinese culture. I have always spent my time with asian people, Somehow I know China and Vietnam are so close but I am seeing so many differences though. The differences I am seeing are so good.

 

I will continue to keep on track with her as I am hoping things will eventually work out, she seem like the sweetest person I met. I just really cannot believe how much we have in common. It seems like everytime she tells me something, it is so much the same as me.

 

Well, once again, thanks for the replys

 

JST

 

Hi JST,

 

It is nice that everything is looking good, but now all of us folks on CFL would like you to fill out a time line. The time line is so the folks can keep track of Visa processing.

It is usually done in your signature file, and look at mine for an example or any of the other members.

 

Tom and Ling