Having Children after 50 ?

[SheLikesME?]

Well finally the wife is comfortable enough and letting things go to chance. She doubts I can produce and wants me to go be tested. I aksed for her help

 

Anyway I wanted ugrent when we first met and thought why not do it while in waiting. She wanted to be settled first. I have had doubts mainly due to the upheaval in my company and worry over being able to support all. This has all settled down. My wife has a good job if needed. We seem to have one of the big issues almost behind from the ex and her brew.

 

So now I really wonder and hope I will be healthy and I just have no idea. I DO like just leaving things to chance and live our lives and do te best we can. I will get tested as soon as practical.

 

Wife had another child or 2-3 in her mind before we met it seems. It surprises me. We wonder about logistics but she is on the way to being able to work from home if all goes as we hope and she gets on as a direct employee instead of just a job shopper.

 

Ahh ever changing romance and family life. This marriage is an adventure. I never know.

[Jay & Ping]

This is an important topic.

 

Ping and I have discussed it. Having just turned 50 and having had no children of my own it is a topic I think about often.

I am a big kid at heart and have immense patience - especialy with children (my piers). There is a huge void in my life that Ping's daughter has nestled into much to my joy and comfort.

At the moment I wallow in this new role as "Daddy". When Ping and Yanyue are here we will revisit the baby discussion in earnest. She understands my heart and I hers. We'll keep you posted....

[Kaige]

We discussed this before marraige, if it happens it happens, we are blessed with a son, he is now 29 months old. I am 52, just have to love the terrible 2's followed by the trying 3's

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

My SO is 9 years younger then me. If we did have a child together I would be pushing 80 ans she would be past 70 then when the child is fully grown.

We did talk of maybe starting a new family but when we consider our age we think we will pass. However there is a love child born everyday.

[Urkidding]

We discussed this before marraige, if it happens it happens, we are blessed with a son, he is now 29 months old. I am 52, just have to love the terrible 2's followed by the trying 3's

 

Keep it coming... and don't forget the troublesum 4's and the Why 5's...

 

I'm looking at the Smarty Six's pretty soon!

[Robert S.]

This is an important topic.

 

Ping and I have discussed it. Having just turned 50 and having had no children of my own it is a topic I think about often.

I am a big kid at heart and have immense patience - especialy with children (my piers). There is a huge void in my life that Ping's daughter has nestled into much to my joy and comfort.

At the moment I wallow in this new role as "Daddy". When Ping and Yanyue are here we will revisit the baby discussion in earnest. She understands my heart and I hers. We'll keep you posted....

I love it! I am happy for you to have a chance to be the daddy like that, that girl needs a dad. How old is the girl? May you have the best of luck.

[Robert S.]

We discussed this before marraige, if it happens it happens, we are blessed with a son, he is now 29 months old. I am 52, just have to love the terrible 2's followed by the trying 3's

I have not been following closely enough to have known about this son before, but let me say now a big congratulations! Wish I could see a picture.

 

Hey, did you ever get the sharp paring knife you were wanting back in 2005?

[Robert S.]

Well finally the wife is comfortable enough and letting things go to chance. She doubts I can produce and wants me to go be tested. I aksed for her help

Practice, practice, practice.

[C4Racer]

Add me to the list of men who are having children late in life.

 

Garrett is my first. He was born just less than 1 month after my 49th birthday. It was not and kind of was planned this way. Ideally, I would rather have found a wife and had my first child when I was just turning forty, but fate did not deal me this hand. It was more important to find the right wife, than just get married.

 

I am lucky in the sense I know what I am about to go through. I was adopted at the age of three to parents who were 8 years apart. My adopted mother was 36 and my adopted father was 44. So I have experience living through this type of situation before. Lisa and I are 14 years apart. When Garrett was born, our ages were Lisa 35, me 49.

 

Actually I have more patience now than I did when I was younger. I am a type A personality, these types tend to mello over time. My attitude is more go with the flow now, but life is still a rush and I am not slowing down anytime soon. Garrett insures that I keep up with him since he skipped walking and went straight to running. I know that when he becomes a teenager, the stage of life where he doesn't want anything to do with his parents because they are old might be more pronounced, but like me he'll get throught it.

 

One huge negative not mentioned is the possibilty of losing one of your parents early in life. This happened to me. I lost my mother to cancer at the tender age of 14. This is the point in life where you are finding out who you are. My reaction was the standard, got pissed off at the entire world and I mean literally. I lashed out at anything and everyone and then started a downward spiral into a life of drugs and being a total degenerate. The only thing that saved me was the inner self that my mother helped instill within me before she died. It wasn't until I was 19 that I woke up, decided to join the Navy and turn my life around. Still just because this happened to me doesn't mean it will happen to anyone else so I am not afraid to have children at an advanced age.

 

Are we going to have more? Not sure, we are taking one day at a time. The next step is bring her son from China to live with us. So, the answer remains a strong maybe.

Edited April 15, 2008 by C4Racer (see edit history)

[Robert S.]

Add me to the list of men who are having children late in life.

 

Garrett is my first. He was born just less than 1 month after my 49th birthday.

Despite what happened earlier in life, now having had Garrett together with your new wife, I believe you are one of the luckiest men in the world.

[JamesnYuHong]

Add me to the list of men who are having children late in life.

 

Garrett is my first. He was born just less than 1 month after my 49th birthday.

Despite what happened earlier in life, now having had Garrett together with your new wife, I believe you are one of the luckiest men in the world.

 

Garrett does look like an awfully cute little man in your avatar.

[HKG]

I wonder about having children, it is a part of marriage and life, the thing is I'm 61 she is going on 33.

[shanghaigale]

Definitely an interesting topic! I don't quite fit your age range up to 55. I will be 65 in a few more months. My wife is now 41. We had a daughter when I was 58. So our daughter is 6 (going on 7) now and just finishing up kindergarden. So I will be almost 78 when she graduates from high school. She is really the light of our life now. We wouldn't trade her for anything. So much fun to be around. always a smile on her face. I haven't worked a regular job since I returned from China when I was 58 and instead my wife and I picked a home business we could do that pays quite well but allows us to spend the time with our daugher and also be together virtually all the time. We work about 70 hours a week but its the hours we pick to work, not somebody elses hours, and its a business that we both truly enjoy. My wife soemtimes starts talking about having another baby but I am not sure I would want to start over again at this time. I have a 31 year old daughter and a 28 year old son that I am putting through college now and a son from my wifes first marriage that is almost 16 and will go off to college in another 3 years. So I figure by the time I finish with the daughter through college at about 82, I will be ready to stop working. Its different for everybody though. I am in great health and both me and my wife love working hard, so continuing to work is not a chore to us. We truly enjoy it. Some people don't feel the same way so its really an individual choice as to what to do. I do worry that I will die before my daughter is fully grown but my wife is much younger so she should be safe with her. Money shouldn't be a problem because we are careful and have saved it pretty well.

Gale

 

I notice some of the men on this board are in the 45 - 55 age range.

I don't know the ages of your wives, but it is reasonable that a younger wife could still be in the child bearing age.

 

What do you think of having a baby when the father is 45+?

 

My own downside list:

Means the father will be 65+ when the child is 20.

Paying for college after retirement will certainly be a challenge.

Patience is a little shorter at 45+.

The older children may look at this child with a little jealousy, and think their father is a nut for having a baby so late in life.

Less time to enjoy our retirement years together.

 

Upside list:

Having a baby with my wife is the greatest enjoyment i can think of.

I love children, we would enjoy this baby every day.

I don't get excited over small problems children cause anymore, my old children hardend me

The child would grow up as an only child, but with siblings more like young aunts and uncles.

Our experience raising children is better.

This would be the only child that is biologically ours, though obviously we consider all the children ours.

 

At the end of this conversation, my wife and I always decide, no we are too old.

The fact this conversation comes up again and again though is an indicator of how both of us would really like a baby.

 

 

Just wondering if others have this idea, and what your thoughts are.

Hower

[shanghaigale]

You are not that much younger than I am, although my wife is quite a bit older than your wife. We have a daughter that was born when I was 58. I would think it would still be possible for you but it really depends on how healthy you are and what your wifes wishes are to.

Definitely you need to give it a lot of deep thought before you decide. Its a long term commitment, but as far as I am concerned it was well worth it to us and it has turned us into a real family. I have no regrets.

Gale

 

I wonder about having children, it is a part of marriage and life, the thing is I'm 61 she is going on 33.

[Jay & Ping]

This is an important topic.

 

Ping and I have discussed it. Having just turned 50 and having had no children of my own it is a topic I think about often.

I am a big kid at heart and have immense patience - especialy with children (my piers). There is a huge void in my life that Ping's daughter has nestled into much to my joy and comfort.

At the moment I wallow in this new role as "Daddy". When Ping and Yanyue are here we will revisit the baby discussion in earnest. She understands my heart and I hers. We'll keep you posted....

I love it! I am happy for you to have a chance to be the daddy like that, that girl needs a dad. How old is the girl? May you have the best of luck.

Yanyue just turned 14. I have pictures in my gallery. She's a good girl and very bright. She's at that wonderful age of self discovery. Still a little girl, but developing independance. I'm sorry I missed so much. She has never had a father so this is new to both of us. We are so fun together. I taught her to bowl last month. It was a hoot! I'll post a pic.

Edited April 16, 2008 by Jay & Ping (see edit history)