Do You Come Home & Talk about Work?

[SheLikesME?]

Does your spouse/finace put up with you talking about work?

[Tony_onrock]

I hardly have any strengh to talk about anything when I get home, esp. from business trips. Just half an hour ago my boss suggested that I take the family to Chengdu area for vacation for the May 1 week long holiday and possibly tour Jiu Zhai Gou, at company expense. I declined. If I go, it would mean I will be going with my wife and daughter (who will spend the vacation time alone ) and my whole due diligence team of accountants and lawyers.

 

I am starting to hate work after a whole week stuck here in some southern city at a hotel.

[yuehan123]

I went there once. It's crowded (where in China isn't) but also beautiful.

 

Why not go at your own expense, on your own time and have fun with your family?

[Dennis143]

Talk about work? We can¡¯t talk about anything. Heck, she even told David¡¯s Zixuan that she saw no reason to read, write and speak English. And, she¡¯s been here for 6 years and doing just fine without it, thank you very much. Talk about work, when I get home? That¡¯s a good one.

[hakkamike]

Talk about my work at home!! I dont even talk about work while im at work..............

[bosco]

A lot of my work IS at home and Ling often tries to help. If she sees me digging around inside a computer she quickly grabs a flashlight......if she watches me having trouble getting a cable onto a hard to reach connector she's soon got her smaller hand in there taking the cable from me.......now if she will only show an interest in learning how to do my paperwork and invoicing......

[Tony_onrock]

I went there once. It's crowded (where in China isn't) but also beautiful.

 

Why not go at your own expense, on your own time and have fun with your family?

On my own time, interesting idea. Last year I took my three week vacation right before it expired (which also is the time when we fully invested the fund) and this year, not sure when I have the time. For a team of 9 that managed to invest $1.4 b last year, vacation is always difficult.

After three trips to Chengdu area, a new girl in the office asked our assitant analyst:"did you get a chance to see the panda?" She looked at the new girl and said, " I didn't have time to look in the mirrow". We all pray that we can out last the vesting period and retire.

[david_dawei]

I work at home.. so she is the one to 'come home'... we tend to talk more about her work than mine...

[jim_julian]

Does your spouse/finace put up with you talking about work?

 

Wow! Insightful phrasing.

 

I might have said, "Do you share your experiences at work with your spouse?" rather than "put up".

 

Yes I share things that go on in my working life with Lao Po and she seems to welcome it. It takes a little more explanation because, of course, she doesn't have the background of being born and raised in America. I think it's important for a couple to share details of their current activity; for one thing it deepens understanding and allows you to interpret moods, pressures, etc.

 

It may be that sharing about work from a husband to a Chinese wife is more important than sharing with wives of other cultures due to the weight that a Chinese wife may put on financial stability and the traditional role where the husband is the bread winner and the wife the home maker.

[SmilingAsia]

After three trips to Chengdu area, a new girl in the office asked our assitant analyst:"did you get a chance to see the panda?" She looked at the new girl and said, " I didn't have time to look in the mirrow". We all pray that we can out last the vesting period and retire.

Then Tony you are the panda they see everyday

[SmilingAsia]

It may be that sharing about work from a husband to a Chinese wife is more important than sharing with wives of other cultures due to the weight that a Chinese wife may put on financial stability and the traditional role where the husband is the bread winner and the wife the home maker.

I'll try to create the mood for him to talk about his work then I'll be sure he is not "bao er nai" while he is outside home

[BillV 8-16-2004]

I encourage my wife to talk about her job when I come home from work. I will occasionally discuss mine but I enjoy asking her to tell me how her day was and listening to her.

[warpedbored]

We talk about our work just about everyday at dinner. Mostly we talk about her work. There is some perception that because I am a man I shouldn't be seen as not strong. Because of this I keep my complaints about work to a minimum.

[Mick]

I work at home.. so she is the one to 'come home'... we tend to talk more about her work than mine...

Same here, David.

[SheLikesME?]

Does your spouse/fiancé put up with you talking about work?

 

Wow! Insightful phrasing.

 

I might have said, "Do you share your experiences at work with your spouse?" rather than "put up".

My wife is back in China waiting on Mantis check.

 

My wife has made comments that I talk about work too much when I call her lately, so I try not to mention it whether good or bad.

 

If my wife is going shopping or to take care of anything outside of work she will tell me, sometimes in detail. When nothing was mentioned and I ask what she will do today, or she tells me she must got off the phone "to do some things" I find out later she was at her old job dealing with some unpleasant people. The whole time I have known her she seems very disinterested in talking about work on either side and did not want to go with me to a business party on my first Beijing trip.

 

I just wondered how the rest of you would respond. I wonder if my wife has had someone put the idea in her head that a married couple should not discuss work. Those ideas could have been something in her own family or friends or it could have been part of her effort in life to become more international. She seems to have worked hard to change herself in many ways in her life. I just find this work thing puzzling. Some of you may know she came here trying to be too American or un-Chinese or something so she can get along well or not make a social mistake. Once she loosened up her visit was more enjoyable.

 

This may be as simple as work being an unpleasant experience for her and she does not want to be in a bad mood. Thanks for feedback.

Edited April 27, 2007 by SheLikesME? (see edit history)