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Daoist sexual practices.


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I'm not taking it seriously... I only take the commenter as entertaining it as possibly seriously... and maybe you should rephrase 'men' as 'western men'... again, the general eastern way is really different than you seem to state.

 

If you asked an eastern woman about this and she's silent, you've got your answer; if she's still talking to you afterwards, consider yourself lucky.

 

Why should I consider myself lucky if I get no response to any mention of Daoism? I never mentioned anything even hinting at sexual. If I had, would that've been inappropriate?

 

Are saying that most Chinese people, having had their history erased, have no interest whatsoever in anything vaguely resembling religion, philosophy or ancient culture? If so, then yes, I do consider myself lucky to be finding this out now rather than later.

 

I don't claim to understand "the Chinese" as the only Chinese people I've known are my acupuncturist and her husband, both of whom are very knowledgeable about the Daoist practices and philosophy. But, they're here in America.

Edited by Danax (see edit history)
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I'm not taking it seriously... I only take the commenter as entertaining it as possibly seriously... and maybe you should rephrase 'men' as 'western men'... again, the general eastern way is really different than you seem to state.

 

If you asked an eastern woman about this and she's silent, you've got your answer; if she's still talking to you afterwards, consider yourself lucky.

 

Why should I consider myself lucky if I get no response to any mention of Daoism? I never mentioned anything even hinting at sexual. If I had, would that've been inappropriate?

 

Are saying that most Chinese people, having had their history erased, have no interest whatsoever in anything vaguely resembling religion, philosophy or ancient culture? If so, then yes, I do consider myself lucky to be finding this out now rather than later.

 

I don't claim to understand "the Chinese" as the only Chinese people I've known are my acupuncturist and her husband, both of whom are very knowledgeable about the Daoist practices and philosophy. But, they're here in America.

 

I think you misread my comments.. I said you'd be lucky if they still talked to you afterwards, of asking daoist sexual practices...

 

but I think i've misread your topic wording and your comments that started this.

 

Nonetheless, I don't think the chinese erase their history,but they have a very pragmatic way of living in the present and not engaging in much philosophy or ancient religion as an online ice-breaker topic, IMO...

 

Chinese are chinese, whether in the US, as a USC or not. They tend to consider themselves chinese by heritage and not based on citizenship issues.

 

I would expect a chinese acupuncturist to know daoist ideas.. An ancient daoist handbook was The Yellow Emperors Handbook of Chinese Medicine which covers quite a bit on acupuncture.. even if one has not read it, it's influence is in the chinese medical field is unquestionable.

 

I posted in A Mafan's thread some links to a Daoist book and other online boards which take such issues more seriously.. you might check them out...

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I think you misread my comments.. I said you'd be lucky if they still talked to you afterwards, of asking daoist sexual practices...

I understood your meaning there. I was reversing your comment because the only way I would consider myself lucky in that situation would be by being able to weed out any woman who would be offended to the point of not wanting to speak to me again because of mentioning that, although I never mentioned the sexual aspects, not because she decided to give me another chance by talking to me... Maybe there's a cultural trait here that I don't understand, but a purely "pragmatic" woman with zero interest in such things would not interest me as a potential wife.

 

My surprise has simply been that so little interest or knowledge had been shown, but thanks to CFL mainly, I now understand the various reasons.

 

simply by coming in and mentioning these words about our women

makes it look like your looking for issues

 

Thanks for your response. Now I understand some of the defensive posts. I really hadn't considered or meant my comment as being a minor slam to the ladies here.

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I think you misread my comments.. I said you'd be lucky if they still talked to you afterwards, of asking daoist sexual practices...

I understood your meaning there. I was reversing your comment because the only way I would consider myself lucky in that situation would be by being able to weed out any woman who would be offended to the point of not wanting to speak to me again because of mentioning that, although I never mentioned the sexual aspects, not because she decided to give me another chance by talking to me... Maybe there's a cultural trait here that I don't understand, but a purely "pragmatic" woman with zero interest in such things would not interest me as a potential wife.

 

My surprise has simply been that so little interest or knowledge had been shown, but thanks to CFL mainly, I now understand the various reasons.

 

So that I don't misunderstand the meaning of 'such things'.. not sure if this is daoist sex, sexual issues, daoist issues, etc... but maybe you mean open discussion about any of these issues.

 

I suspect that the general issues of daoist topics are just not on their mind; generally, they are not philosophers in terms of reading and talking about it but doers. I have only meet two women who could discuss daoist issues on a deep level: One was a former practicing buddhist and the other is my wife. Although my wife could not speak english when we meet, she wrote me some ancient poems and can quote many... As time when on, I found out her understanding of chinese philosophy... but since poetry is an interest of mine, that grabbed me.

 

But if the topics of discussion are more 'interest' in open discussion that could include sexual topics, then I think their generally reserved way will disappoint discovering this too early... although they barely will hold hands at most in public, clearly in private they can be more intimate. But frankly, since this is mostly a matchmating exchanging going on for many, there is probably a fast decision being made on both sides.. and so it might be easy to push the wrong button as well...

 

As some on the board have rightly stated, taking one's time and getting to know the person is paramount... I know that basic...

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So that I don't misunderstand the meaning of 'such things'.. not sure if this is daoist sex, sexual issues, daoist issues, etc... but maybe you mean open discussion about any of these issues.

 

I suspect that the general issues of daoist topics are just not on their mind; generally, they are not philosophers in terms of reading and talking about it but doers. I have only meet two women who could discuss daoist issues on a deep level: One was a former practicing buddhist and the other is my wife. Although my wife could not speak english when we meet, she wrote me some ancient poems and can quote many... As time when on, I found out her understanding of chinese philosophy... but since poetry is an interest of mine, that grabbed me.

 

But if the topics of discussion are more 'interest' in open discussion that could include sexual topics, then I think their generally reserved way will disappoint discovering this too early... although they barely will hold hands at most in public, clearly in private they can be more intimate. But frankly, since this is mostly a matchmating exchanging going on for many, there is probably a fast decision being made on both sides.. and so it might be easy to push the wrong button as well...

 

As some on the board have rightly stated, taking one's time and getting to know the person is paramount... I know that basic...

 

I meant that a woman who simply lived life from birth to death without investigating, or at least pondering and asking questions about the deeper meaning of life, would not be a good partner for me. And specifically having an interest in the so-called Eastern ideas would be a plus. So, I naturally turned to China and I'm finding less interest in such things than here in America.

 

I had mentioned in letters and my profile that I believed the meaning of life was to advance spiritually and that I practiced meditation, yoga and qi gong. I also mentioned qi in one letter as being important to keep full and flowing. I also mentioned an acupuncturist that I was receiving treatments from. That's a lot of material to respond to, especially since I was obviously so interested in it, but, as I said, I got zero comments and it sort of baffled me.

 

I will say though, that the lady I am writing has her subtle way of letting me know she's with me somewhat in this, as far as enjoying quiet, nature etc, which might be the Chinese "doing" version of being "spiritual".

 

I like the idea of being reserved and I like the idea of being practical and doers. I am reserved myself but am not a very good doer so I would probably drive a Chinese woman crazy with my procrastination (INSERT MOP-SLAP EMOTICON HERE).

 

I guess some of this understanding/misunderstanding of each other's ways is exactly what many here have mentioned as things to be prepared to deal with. Nice to have CFL to get a head start on this.

Edited by Danax (see edit history)
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I meant that a woman who simply lived life from birth to death without investigating, or at least pondering and asking questions about the deeper meaning of life, would not be a good partner for me. ....

 

I had mentioned in letters and my profile that I believed the meaning of life was to advance spiritually and that I practiced meditation, yoga and qi gong. I also mentioned qi in one letter as being important to keep full and flowing.

 

There are many ways to investigate, ponder and ask questions about the deeper meaning of life.

 

My mother practiced qi gong for a short while because she thought it would help her improve her health. She gave it up after an instance of losing control over herself (mentally and physically).

 

I practiced yoga for a short while, because I thought it will help me loose weight and become more fit. In fact many Chinese women practice yoga for the same reason.

 

However, I am trying to understand the meaning of life through many other ways, my own ways.

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I meant that a woman who simply lived life from birth to death without investigating, or at least pondering and asking questions about the deeper meaning of life, would not be a good partner for me. ....

 

I had mentioned in letters and my profile that I believed the meaning of life was to advance spiritually and that I practiced meditation, yoga and qi gong. I also mentioned qi in one letter as being important to keep full and flowing.

 

There are many ways to investigate, ponder and ask questions about the deeper meaning of life.

 

My mother practiced qi gong for a short while because she thought it would help her improve her health. She gave it up after an instance of losing control over herself (mentally and physically).

 

I practiced yoga for a short while, because I thought it will help me loose weight and become more fit. In fact many Chinese women practice yoga for the same reason.

 

However, I am trying to understand the meaning of life through many other ways, my own ways.

 

 

here is a book on the subject ....the tao of love and sex author jolan chang ......ISBN o-14-019338-3

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There are many ways to investigate, ponder and ask questions about the deeper meaning of life.

 

My mother practiced qi gong for a short while because she thought it would help her improve her health. She gave it up after an instance of losing control over herself (mentally and physically).

 

I practiced yoga for a short while, because I thought it will help me loose weight and become more fit. In fact many Chinese women practice yoga for the same reason.

 

However, I am trying to understand the meaning of life through many other ways, my own ways.

True. Just because someone isn't interested in the standard religions or disciplines doesn't mean they're not questioning.

 

I have read that the Chinese tend to do yoga and meditation to improve their health and beauty while the westerners tend to try to elevate their conciousness and attain psychic powers.

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I thought that Qigong probably got a bit deflated ever since the Fulan Gong crackdown. So maybe it's not practice is not as widely attempted now. I'm careful when I speak to my wife about Qigong... to make sure there's no reference to FG... and I usually state it as Qigong doctor or Qigong exercise so she knows which aspect I'm asking about. She has been hesitant to look into it for me.. instead, said, "I will take you to Tai Ji"...

 

Although meditation is popular within buddhism, the explanation that made sense to me [why chinese don't generally practice meditation] is that it is a kind of escapism; escaping from or putting life on hold... and the chinese way is to be an intregal part of life and the environment. What I do see them take from buddhism is the ceremonial respect, etc...

 

Also the buddhist teaching of suffering is not very consistent with chinese thought, IMO... to focus on suffering is to think upon that and then perform intentional action... whereas historically, their philosophy teaches the opposite: Spontaneity and intuition... where action of this sort is equated with natural action (thoughtful action is considered more unnatural). The maxim I once read was: "Do no unnatural action".

 

So I see the Taoist ideas of 'harmony' as having taken a stronger hold over the buddhist teaching of disharmony (suffering) and prescribed action to overcome it.

 

In the end, I see chinese as more like the saying I once read: "Confucianist by day and Taoist by night"... or as Dan once pointed out, "Chinese through and through"...

Edited by DavidZixuan (see edit history)
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Also the buddhist teaching of suffering is not very consistent with chinese thought, IMO... to focus on suffering is to think upon that and then perform intentional action... whereas historically, their philosophy teaches the opposite: Spontaneity and intuition... where action of this sort is equated with natural action (thoughtful action is considered more unnatural). The maxim I once read was: "Do no unnatural action".

 

 

what are the main aspects of the buddhist life, what is his basic belief...

 

as to a christian my basic belief is Jesus Christ died on the cross and shed is blood for payment of the worlds sin debt. EVERYONE.

very basic

 

i dont understand the way, say...

"how do i be a good buddhist"

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Also the buddhist teaching of suffering is not very consistent with chinese thought, IMO... to focus on suffering is to think upon that and then perform intentional action... whereas historically, their philosophy teaches the opposite: Spontaneity and intuition... where action of this sort is equated with natural action (thoughtful action is considered more unnatural). The maxim I once read was: "Do no unnatural action".

 

 

what are the main aspects of the buddhist life, what is his basic belief...

 

as to a christian my basic belief is Jesus Christ died on the cross and shed is blood for payment of the worlds sin debt. EVERYONE.

very basic

 

i dont understand the way, say...

"how do i be a good buddhist"

 

 

:offtopic:

 

dui bu qi

Edited by izus (see edit history)
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as to a christian my basic belief is Jesus Christ died on the cross and shed is blood for payment of the worlds sin debt.

EVERYONE. very basic

 

 

~~

 

Thats the same words that was drilled into my head as a child many years ago.

I'm not one to say this is "Right or Wrong way" but to me it's the right way.

But what the heck I'm to old to change now.

JMO

 

Bobby....

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Also the buddhist teaching of suffering is not very consistent with chinese thought, IMO... to focus on suffering is to think upon that and then perform intentional action... whereas historically, their philosophy teaches the opposite: Spontaneity and intuition... where action of this sort is equated with natural action (thoughtful action is considered more unnatural). The maxim I once read was: "Do no unnatural action".

 

 

what are the main aspects of the buddhist life, what is his basic belief...

 

as to a christian my basic belief is Jesus Christ died on the cross and shed is blood for payment of the worlds sin debt. EVERYONE.

very basic

 

i dont understand the way, say...

"how do i be a good buddhist"

 

Buddhism has quite an interesting history with many branches forming in the end and has a system of belief which makes it's teachings easier to understand on some level than other asian philosophies. There does exist Buddhism as a philosophy and religion (same as for Dao.. ie: Daoist Priests). But I'll stick to the philosophy since this is what is most popular.

 

If one has to summarize the basic tenant, I would say something like this (although this could be a modern feel):

- Not to harm others and live in peace¡­ the ultimate goal of life carries the idea of a lasting happiness of all things¡­

- A 'blowing out' of all forms of desires which leads to a calm, (almost indifferent) tranquility.

 

The extended and historical answer is found in:

- the Four Noble Truths (suffering, cause, overcoming, pursuit of the eight fold path)

- the Eight-fold Path (focus on the mind, action, and understanding)

- the five precepts (the moral code; not to harm others, don't steal, control sexual desires, speak truthfully, and be mindful)

 

The elimination of desires I think gets a bad rap and is often misunderstood... but I'm not sure I'm the one to really explain it too much further as I am not a practicing buddhist and probably those closer to the 'practiced way' could...

 

It has some interesting comparisons to christianity:

- A founder

- prophesy

- salavation (from suffering of life, not sin against a god)

- goodwill towards man

- life after death (reincarnation instead of heaven)

 

There's much that is written online about the comparisons, but I'll say that much of it is in defense of christiantiy.. which causes the topic to spiral into "we're better than you".. I think that basically violates the buddhist way of thinking and so you won't find such one-up-manship in buddhism. By nature (being more moral/ethical than religious), it's tolerance of practicing it's way allows for practice of other religions simultaneously...

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