Long Wait...

[Zingaro]

Jesse ...

 

Our case took 17 months, 10 of which was spent in 2nd name check limbo. Had our 2nd name check gone through in "normal" time, we'd have been "average" as far as other timelines went, but it would still have seemed like forever.

 

We went into the K-1 process expecting a wait of a year or so from start to finish. I believe that if you expect to wait, and if you move your horizon toward the future, you'll find the essence of patience. It doesn't make the wait a lot easier, but you at least have a better context for it.

 

Look at the timelines, determine what is "average" or "normal" as a baseline. If your process goes beyond the "average", then communicate. Email, phone calls and letters might not produce an immediate response. But my experience - and that of others here - is that the weight of continual, steady communication does eventually produce results and shakes things loose when they are stuck.

 

Be patient, look toward the future you are creating together, and accept what you are going through as a shared experience that will bring you closer and make you stronger. Meanwhile, exchange letters/email with your SO everyday. Telephone her everyday. That is the most important communication of all. You are in this together and you must realize that you are partners in a new adventure.

[BuffaloPaul]

Think of a large project (remodeling your house, for example; knitting your husband 10 sweaters, etc.).  Consider it to have to be finished before you finally get together.  Then you will start worring about not being able to complete your project, and complain that time pass too fast.  This trick worked wonders for myself.

 

On the other hand, get ready for your next steps.

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I can tell you this worked really well for me. I bought a house and started some projects. I was so pressed for time that I barely had a second to think about being apart.

 

I also spent as much free time exercising as I could to keep my spirits up.

[rosyanne]

I want to share our story with you, hopefully it helps.

 

So, our process was 25 months long, the 14 of it was wasted on the first application due to the lack experiences. The second time it went slower than the average speed as well which got me bad.

 

Yes, the waiting seems to be endless and hopeless, but everyone will gets to the front as long as your relationship is real. My suggestion will be keep a close eye on the process, make sure it is not lost or anything by writing email to not only service center, US consulate, but also your congress man, everyone you can think of. It might not help your process speed up, but it will definatly conferdent your SO. Believe me, she wants to know things are moving or you tried your best. Glad to see you are here which means you are doing good. But there is no need to stare at the case, keep telling yourself it is not happening. Of course, travelling back to China is good if you have time and money. But planning future and be perpare for the up coming steps of the case and for her to get here is also some thing you can start to look at. Next you know, the package is in hand but you find there are so many things to do. Oh, study on CFL helps lot too.

 

Easy for me to say, I know, coz I am finally with my baby now. Belive or not, you will too.

 

Anne

Edited October 8, 2005 by rosyanne (see edit history)

[Feathers268]

Jesse,

I also am well aware of the wait and how you are feeling. So many have said volumes by now so I have little to add but just think of the joy you both will feel when the day comes.

[Maui & China]

Jesse,

 

It took us about 18.5 months to finally get the visa. 7 months at CSC waitng for NOA2 and another 8 months in the second name check mess. We're convinced that without the help of my Senator, we would still be waiting.

 

We had our down moments also...the crying, the doubts, the swearing, the "why are we being singled out" lamenting. But it has just meant in the end that life is much sweeter for us. During that time, I tried to get to China as often as my vacation allowed. To maximize my time there, I would try to go during US holidays so it would add an extra day to my visit and when I got back, go to work the next day. Thank goodness I don't suffer from jet lag too bad.

 

In between visits we would talk over the phone, internet, Skype, e-mail, cards, letters and gift packages. Anything to maintain contact. It's hard to wait. It will affect everything you do or say and consume all your thoughts. I was incredibly moody at work. My coworkers were probably the next happiest people besides us when she finally got here. We'll all tell you to be patient, to hang in there. At times you'll feel like quitting and moving to China. But persist in this great and woderful adventure. It is incredibly and wonderfully worth it!!

 

Just keep an eye on your progress, try not to dwell on how slow it is going. Keep reading CFL, prepare for the next steps and a new life here. If you think you need to contact your Congressman or Senators, because your case is going beyond the norm (for GZ that is) then do so. Maybe you'll get lucky like us and get an elected official who really did get involved and followed through to the end.

 

Just remember, no matter how bad you have it, there is somebody who is probably worse off. When we were waiting in the interview line, we met a woman on her 3rd interview for a CR1. She had been waiting to join her husband for almost 3 years and had only seen him once during that time. We saw her at the GZ post office 2 days later to pick up her visa!!! So stand tall and keep the faith.

Edited October 8, 2005 by Maui & China (see edit history)

[Alex]

My SO and i will have been waiting 2 years next month. Hopefully this nightmare will be over with by the end of 2005.

[frank1538]

Our TSC portion took 6 months. But, there was a silver lining in this. It prepared Jingwen for having to deal with the government once she arrived. Now she no longer complains about how slow the US government is. She just expects it, and when something happens sooner, she is pleasantly surprised.