where's the outrage?

[Dan R]

Hear! hear!

 

He's a right good captain too!

So give three cheers and one cheer more

for the hearty captain of the CFL!

 

I think Don and Cerberus have shown why most of us are here. Information, support and friendship.

 

Open discussion is an important part of dealing with situations. Reins only need to be pulled in when rules are violated and it gets out of hand.

[Dennis143]

This thread can run a normal life cycle. The only thing that will be censored is something that violates the guidelines.

153122[/snapback]

This frank, intimate and revealing thread should be an ongoing and never ending discussion. As, this topic hits to the very core of what we are attempting and the risk and emotions that are involved.

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

It's one of the MOST common events occuring for Americans today. If one is NOT aware going in that it can and does happen they risk becoming victim. Watch, be wary. It's certainly not unique. Fact is tho, some are easily suckered into things, and some are not. Life events, intuition, and a watchful eye speak volumes.

 

The naive don't know, that's why they are naive. Funny thing is, that some remain naive by blaming the whole sitch-eee-ation on anything other than themselves. The wise are more likely to say "wow, I ignored warning signs; next time I will try to act like something other than a sheep being led to slaughter."

[Guest Gene]

This thread can run a normal life cycle. The only thing that will be censored is something that violates the guidelines.

153122[/snapback]

This frank, intimate and revealing thread should be an ongoing and never ending discussion. As, this topic hits to the very core of what we are attempting and the risk and emotions that are involved.

153147[/snapback]

This thread was gently nudged into the direction it is now going by our illustrious moderators it could have easily "gone south" and been closed.

 

I agree it should be a never ending discusion, but under a different heading, it's tone and the defining factors have changed

[HanLi]

I'm going to move this to Our Stories and hope it is not a mistake to do so. Situations come up like this from time to time and shouldn't be cloaked in the semi-secrecy of a member only forum.

153153[/snapback]

well thought out Don,

this is life, be it good or bad...

 

I hope that everyone will be open to the thoughts generated here, and not be biased due to hearing one side of a situation...

 

certainly this has been a thought provoking post and should be continued

[ameriken]

I'm going to move this to Our Stories and hope it is not a mistake to do so. Situations come up like this from time to time and shouldn't be cloaked in the semi-secrecy of a member only forum.

153153[/snapback]

I think this is an excellent decision and an excellent place to move it, thanks !

[izus]

My opinion is that such "outrage" is tempered because a lot of us start to fear that we may be suckered ourselves. There is a great deal of trust we have to put into someone so far away, and let's not forget that this forum has seen bad intentions on the part of the petitioner as well.

Yes, there have been times I wondered if my Jennifer was playing me but the harder I tried looking into it, I came up with either she is so very good at hiding her intentions or I am in such a state of denial, that I could not see anything there. I also see the potential for another tragedy in calling off a relationship because of unfounded suspicion brought up by someone else and their truly tragic situation. Sure, the question can be posed, "why does she want to marry someone from the States?", but then, why is it that we must marry someone from China rather than finding a nice girl right here at home?

I'm sure it happens, but it also is not left to people in our situation. Many have married for the wrong reasons and it is not just to gain a green card.

For those who have seen thier relationship end for what ever reason I am truly sorry and I must be honest in saying that I hope I never know the feeling first hand. As for warning signs, I ask that everyone be carful. Any situation taken out of context can proove anything you make it out to be. If you look hard enough for conspiracy, you will find what you are looking for.

153081[/snapback]

alot of good words on this thread but i think these are some of the best.

 

we would not be human if we didnt think of the conspiracy angles. my second visit to BJ a month or so ago i learned so much more about ChunYan then i knew the first time. it kind of scared me, i really dont know her at all.

ive been talking with ChunYan about this topic as well. she said that i am the only reason why she wants to move to the US and if we dont work out there would be no reason to stay. her family is very close and it is going to take everything out of her to seperate that.

[Guest blsqueaky]

I have thought long and hard about putting a reply here, and have decided that I will. First when Ling arrived here in the states, as far as I was concerned, she was not seeking the "Green Card", she was seeking a happy marriage. Later, as I said in my post, she was informed by someone else, a lady friend, that if the marriage was in trouble, stay with it long enough to get the card so now, this is what she is thinking, and this I am getting from a 3rd party, and not herself. It is the 3rd party that will make sure that she does receive this infamous card.

 

My only concern now is that this does not end up on 001. No, like Don said, you will not hear from her, just like I will not.

 

I want to thank everyone for their concern. My life will go on, and I will search again.

[chinajesse]

I have thought long and hard about putting a reply here, and have decided that I will. First when Ling arrived here in the states, as far as I was concerned, she was not seeking the "Green Card", she was seeking a happy marriage. Later, as I said in my post, she was informed by someone else, a lady friend, that if the marriage was in trouble, stay with it long enough to get the card so now, this is what she is thinking, and this I am getting from a 3rd party, and not herself. It is the 3rd party that will make sure that she does receive this infamous card.

 

My only concern now is that this does not end up on 001. No, like Don said, you will not hear from her, just like I will not.

 

I want to thank everyone for their concern. My life will go on, and I will search again.

153171[/snapback]

Glad to see that this forum is still here. Perhaps some will open their eyes and minds and be less likely to get burned and others will have a rude awakening and realize that they are not God's gift to women. If Asian women found you to be exotic and sexy then many of the Asian women living in the US would have replied to your ads on the internet sites you visited. Perhaps it has not struck you as strange that those living in the US did not, but many living outside the US did. There are many millions of Asian single women living in the US. Wonder why they did not reply to your ad with the same numbers? I am reminded of a Chinese national song that says that Chinese are everywhere. That goes for women living in the US too. There are many Chinese single women here that you could have had a relationship with if THEY had chosen to have a relationship with you.

 

For my 3 cents, a relationship is a tradeoff. A woman wants one thing and a man wants another. If both are happy and can cohabitate, God bless you both. That includes those that want a better life with what tools that they have to negotiate with. If one gets burned, try, try again. It can't get any worse and the courts are unlikely to give property away from either party unless the marriage is sustained for 3 years in most States......God Bless

[Guest blsqueaky]

I have thought long and hard about putting a reply here, and have decided that I will. First when Ling arrived here in the states, as far as I was concerned, she was not seeking the "Green Card", she was seeking a happy marriage. Later, as I said in my post, she was informed by someone else, a lady friend, that if the marriage was in trouble, stay with it long enough to get the card so now, this is what she is thinking, and this I am getting from a 3rd party, and not herself. It is the 3rd party that will make sure that she does receive this infamous card.

 

My only concern now is that this does not end up on 001. No, like Don said, you will not hear from her, just like I will not.

 

I want to thank everyone for their concern. My life will go on, and I will search again.

153171[/snapback]

Glad to see that this forum is still here. Perhaps some will open their eyes and minds and be less likely to get burned and others will have a rude awakening and realize that they are not God's gift to women. If Asian women found you to be exotic and sexy then many of the Asian women living in the US would have replied to your ads on the internet sites you visited. Perhaps it has not struck you as strange that those living in the US did not, but many living outside the US did. There are many millions of Asian single women living in the US. Wonder why they did not reply to your ad with the same numbers? I am reminded of a Chinese national song that says that Chinese are everywhere. That goes for women living in the US too. There are many Chinese single women here that you could have had a relationship with if THEY had chosen to have a relationship with you.

 

For my 3 cents, a relationship is a tradeoff. A woman wants one thing and a man wants another. If both are happy and can cohabitate, God bless you both. That includes those that want a better life with what tools that they have to negotiate with. If one gets burned, try, try again. It can't get any worse and the courts are unlikely to give property away from either party unless the marriage is sustained for 3 years in most States......God Bless

153173[/snapback]

I am really not sure what you are implying here. Maybe you an enlighten me

[Dennis143]

153171[/snapback]

Glad to see that this forum is still here. Perhaps some will open their eyes and minds and be less likely to get burned and others will have a rude awakening and realize that they are not God's gift to women. If Asian women found you to be exotic and sexy then many of the Asian women living in the US would have replied to your ads on the internet sites you visited. Perhaps it has not struck you as strange that those living in the US did not, but many living outside the US did. There are many millions of Asian single women living in the US. Wonder why they did not reply to your ad with the same numbers? I am reminded of a Chinese national song that says that Chinese are everywhere. That goes for women living in the US too. There are many Chinese single women here that you could have had a relationship with if THEY had chosen to have a relationship with you.

 

153173[/snapback]

Well Jesse, as a matter of fact, here in LA there is a huge Asian population and a huge Asian community very close to where I live. I joined Asian Friend Finders to meet local Asian women exclusively. As a result, I dated many local Asian women and still consult with some, when I have questions that arrise.

 

After joining AFF, I was very surprised to receive responses from women throughout China. My SO was not a member of an internet introduction service and we were introduced by her cousin, whom I met through AFF.

 

So, yes many American Asian women also seek west men to marry too.

[HanLi]

I would certainly hope that no one will make personal attacks on anyone else, or imply a derogatory thought towards any of our family. Not sure it that is the intent of some, but if so, you strike a family member. We are here to comment in a positive manner and support each other, let's not lose that goal in the heat of passionate convictions.

[lars]

Just my 2 cents. I am on my 3rd Asian marriage. The first was from VietNam and she passed on in '97. 2nd was Thai whom I married, probably as a "rebound" in '98 and she left me for someone her own age( she was 12 years younger than me) after 4 years. And now Ya. I was a lot more carefull than with the Thai girl. I didn't want that again, but I never gave up hope. Ya has many of the same interests as I do including her profession. I didn't have that with the last one and I should have seen the "writing on the wall" but I didn't.

 

I guess what I am trying to say is, chalk it up to experience, gather yourself and continue. Most of all, DON"T GIVE UP!

[Randy W]

Glad to see that this forum is still here. Perhaps some will open their eyes and minds and be less likely to get burned and others will have a rude awakening and realize that they are not God's gift to women. If Asian women found you to be exotic and sexy then many of the Asian women living in the US would have replied to your ads on the internet sites you visited. Perhaps it has not struck you as strange that those living in the US did not, but many living outside the US did. There are many millions of Asian single women living in the US. Wonder why they did not reply to your ad with the same numbers?  .  .  .

153173[/snapback]

 

 

The thought that my SO may be the last person on earth willing to go out with me doesn't bother me in the slightest.

[Jeikun]

Well, I've dated Asian women both domestic and foreign. Even divorced one So while I don't think I'm god's gift to women, I certainly don't think it's me being a meal ticket either. If Jun had an ulterior motive, it's that she has got into her head that all Chinese men are bastards. She had/has lots of male Chinese friends, but did not want a relationship with any of them. And, yes I know that's a negative stereotype, but we all have our little flaws. So she wanted to meet a foreigner. Not just an American, she was talking to Germans, Japanese (shock!), and others. Her criteria was "not Chinese". She's trying to make her life here work, but I know if I had no ties here and could move to China tomorrow, she would be packing today. Yeah, anyone who posts an ad on a dating site has some motive - but that doesn't mean every Chinese girl wants to move to the US first and find love second. And as someone said, even if that is the case, as long as the couple are in love the reason she chose an American is inconsequential.

 

I just though some of the earlier comments seemed to state that all of us "mail order bride seekers" are only doing so because we're undesirable to American women, and all of the "Mail order brides" are mainly trying to get to the land of the big PX. Yeah, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, but that doesn't equal infallable truth.