Jeikun
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Posts posted by Jeikun
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... teach me, why should put the kids on the first place ?
they would visit you once a week; a month; a year when you are 70?
they gave you financial support when you need them as most of kids do to their parents in China?
they send you a gift pack; a card or a phone call on father's day or you brithday; Christmas?
or...
they would carry your name (or not), so 'Mr. Smith' would be known after 100 years?
There are many reasons one's own children should be put first, but this one is the "bottom line":
Your children are YOUR children - you brought them into the world. They did not ask to be born. They are dependent on you financially and emotionally and this dependance is LEGALLY BINDING.
As far as the financial support, that's not your choice. Divorced or not. Steve has to send child support money, period. As far as emotionally - family comes before a new relationship.
It's not about what you get... visits, money, cards... whatever - you might be dead before you're 80 anyway. It's about what you owe these little people that you brought into the world.
True, many people can have kids, get divorced - pawn them off on their mother and just start a whole new life. Personally I think that kind of person must be selfish, short sighted, and nearly emotionless - not the kind of person a woman should want to have her own kids with anyway.
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This is why I wasn't going to bother tracking it via DHL, because there's still no way to know for sure which package is ours. But Jun's watching this even more closely than me now 
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Jeeezzze ~!
Another hopeless situation (in my opinion) I go to China, and then have to catch up with depressing news on the Candle... First Tazsa, (and Maiya) --- Now this....
Sorry, I don't see any hope. Here we have a situation where he clearly showed his love for his children --- made it clear that they MUST be a part of his life, and she ignored his message, because she is so self-centered...
I went through that, before I met MY Fei, ------a woman in Beijing. I was honest about my situation (two daughters) ------she just thought I would change my mind ----in her favor (send them back to their mother) --- YEAH, ABOUT THE TIME HELL FREEZES OVER ~!!! So BEFORE hell freezes over the solution is simple ----- dump the bitch --PROTECT THE CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS !!!!
DON ~!!! "My wife thinks there is a great difference between natural children and adopted /step children. It is a bone of contention, but I insist on maintaining contact with children, now adults, who I raised and think of me as their father."
GEEEZZZE~! At our pot luck at Mt. Tabor, Xiahong was so outgoing, and warm to Jet that I thought I had won a convert to China Adoption ! (which was my initial goal of my first posts on CLF)
----Kim
I thought of your story as soon as I read this thread, Kim. I think I guessed pretty well what your reply would be too
I really have to agree with you there though. Though I have no children myself, your children should come first... period. If you're entering into a relationship with someone with children, you should expect, even encourage this. Jealousy between the new guy/girl in a parents life and the children is stupid, misplaced, and damaging.
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That is unbelievable. The complete carelessness and lack of any sence of responsibility in some people is utterly sickening. That was people's lives they were shredding so someone could get a gold star by her name, or maybe the good parking space and could just sit on her ass in the process.
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But it can all be taken a little easier since she's actually HERE.
For me, AOS could be a royal pain in the ass, but as long as Jun is here it won't seem as bad as waiting for the K-1... alone...
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I'm always checking the dates too, but I don't necessarily throw something out when it's past the date. Notice, some say "expire on" some say "best by" and some say "sell by".
The ones that say sell by - if you refrigerate it, it should be good for 7 days after.
Best by... use your own judgement
expires on... eat/drink at your own risk!!
But honestly, they usually put those dates a little ahead of when they actually should expire, so a day or two won't turn good milk into curds and whey.
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Ridiculous. And as soon as they get it together, and P4s start coming out at a decent pace again, there will be some other change to throw a monkey wrench into it.
Your tax dollars at play.
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Oh, but don't feel obligated to stick by the computer.
You're probably already talkin' to an empty chair
lolaah... he'll be back they always come back...
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Hmmm... something I'd like to know too. Jun and I will be married here, but the first time we return to China to visit, she wants to take wedding pictures there too.
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Congratulations to the both of you!!
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http://www.cosmictribune.org/zzmarx.jpg
And, heck, I thought that one looked like Santa Claus
Yes, and Santa brings you NOTHING you capitalist swine!! Only a stocking full of shame... and perhaps a plow, and some new work boots.
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Yep, mine wasn't as fast, but 11 days at VSC. Unfortunately, it's looking like all the quick approvals here are translating into a huge backlog at GZ that makes the p4 wait longer and longer as each month they prosess less than they recieve...
Let's both hope it gets straightened out before our timelines get completely stopped in their tracks.
Congratulations, and best of luck!! Wish us the same
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Hi Jason
i got email from my congressman today and she forward an email from GZ and we got packet 3 on April 23rd and sent ir back the next day,,but GZ has 4500 applications and they said that our intervied will be the middle of Nov or the middle of Dec,cause they have so many applications,,so i think everybody have to wait,,they said maybe sooner,,but i dont look for that,,but always can hope,,good luck to you
I've been following that too, but I'll take what I can get
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For those who don't know Enight, watch out - she will take your logic and twist you into little pieces.
I like her already
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I don't really plan on tracking via DHL or anything, unless Jun insists. I think I'll let it ride about 4-5 weeks, then check up on it. Well, my lawyer is supposed to let me know anyway... I just didn't feel like waiting on notification this time so I jumped the gun
Every other step he notified me of, but from what I understand he wouldn't be notifying me of NVC approval, only GZ receipt. I didn't want to wait that long between updating my timelime
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Threads like these ruin the generally positive energy we have here. I mean, let's look at this from a different perspective-- aren't we all being a little bit used here? Here's someone, never posted on Candle before, suddenly jumps in with this. Apparently, simultaneously, his wife jumps into 001 with a similar diatribe. What is their purpose here? To fight each other over these 2 forums? To try and drag as many people into the fight as possible? Please take it elsewhere. If you've been married 2 or 3 years or whatever, maybe see a marriage counselor. I just don't see the value of coming on here and ripping apart your sig other in the guise of "what should I do now?".
You know... thinking on it, I agree with you. It is rather pointless isn't it? Of course, we don't know for sure it's his S.O. posting on 001. It might not have been his intent to "rip her apart". Myself an others have jumped on this bandwagon. Sometimes I get a little too excited when I see the chance for a good argument
Of course, I don't know what "true" advice that he couldn't have thought of himself could be given. Divorce her now or wait and see what happens and try for counseling, like you said.
On the other hand, this is also an interesting topic, and there have been some interesting views expressed. Maybe this one should hop on over to the RR to finish out it's run.
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I had a thought though... what if this girl on 001 ISN'T the wife of the guy who posted here? That would mean we're flooding this poor guy's post with all this argument and conjecture on someone else's problem...
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skibum,
she might or might not be fraud the marriage, and she has been here long enough, if she wants to stay in the States, none would be able to send her back to China anymore as far as she gets SSN and driver licence.
If she wasn't commiting fraud, she wouldn't be asking the ladies on 001 how much money she could get out of him. If she really just wants to find a "jiandan yi dian de" husband,
so, to measure a marriage is fraud or not is to see whether the one asks for money from the other side?
No, but to be asking others on the sly just "how much can I get?" and to tell the husband "Remember I can take half of your assets." is quite suspect, wouldn't you agree.
If her real problem was an unfulfilled life with a husband with no time for her and no desire to have children, why would just how much money she can skip off with be such an issue?
Personally, I have no indication of whether or not the marriage was a fraud. I just think it seems that it was entered into frivously, and now she's going to try to milk him for all he's worth. It might not be illegal, but it darn well should be.
And if she's certain she wants to leave him, but is only stringing it along until her residency becomes permanent... well that IS fraud whether it was in the beginning or not.
If she doesn't love him and wants to leave, she needs to leave. The money she might make or the free pass to democracyland should not be considerations. And yet... they seem to be her #1 considerations. No not proof, but highly suspicious.
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The bigger problem though, is it seems (if earlier posts are to be taken at face value) that he is willing to wait it out so she can get permanent residency. Essentially helping her gouge him. I understand the sentiment, but he'll regret it. There will be no hope then.
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skibum,
she might or might not be fraud the marriage, and she has been here long enough, if she wants to stay in the States, none would be able to send her back to China anymore as far as she gets SSN and driver licence.
If she wasn't commiting fraud, she wouldn't be asking the ladies on 001 how much money she could get out of him. If she really just wants to find a "jiandan yi dian de" husband, she could do that and live happily ever after without this man's hard earned cash. She can leach off her "younger," "less complicated," and "childless" husband all she wants.
Exactly. And if the "conditional" status hasn't been removed from her residency yet, then while she may be able to contest it - she still could be expelled.
She says right now she only has temporary residency. does that mean they can kick her out?
They can, but only if they can show the marriage isn't valid. Even if they divorce prior to the removal of conditional status, she can petition claiming that the marriage was valid despite it's early termination, and possibly get to stay in the country anyway. Probably with a lawyer paid for with his money she could pull it off too.
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skibum,
she might or might not be fraud the marriage, and she has been here long enough, if she wants to stay in the States, none would be able to send her back to China anymore as far as she gets SSN and driver licence.
If she wasn't commiting fraud, she wouldn't be asking the ladies on 001 how much money she could get out of him. If she really just wants to find a "jiandan yi dian de" husband, she could do that and live happily ever after without this man's hard earned cash. She can leach off her "younger," "less complicated," and "childless" husband all she wants.
Exactly. And if the "conditional" status hasn't been removed from her residency yet, then while she may be able to contest it - she still could be expelled.
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that's right, ship her off to the China! ... and if unfortunately she did get half of his essets and still be able to stay in the States, what are you going to do?
Well, then he'll just be another victem of someone else's foolishness. And yes, perhaps his own as well. Sad, but it happens every day. As that hasn't happened yet though, and I believe this person has no right whatsoever to any of his money, it is definately in his best interests to do just that. No free rides.
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Expect at least a 4 month wait from now until inteview.
If that were the case, I would be ecstatic. Well, not the "at least" part, as that's indefinate
But I mean, I originally was thinking Jun would be here in January at the earliest. Now October isn't an impossibility. I won't count my chickens before they're hatched. I keep telling myself "Don't expect it before year's end" But it would be so nice to have her here for the holidays, it's hard not to hope. -
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Yes, I think it is admirable that this man is so dedicated to his children when there are so many other men who could care less. I think a woman who is jealous of her husband's children should marry a man who has no children so she can be his only one. It would be different if he treated his wife badly and didn't show her love, meanwhile giving all his love to just his children...but i don't feel that is the case. She is just jealous that he spends money on his ex-wife and children.
all right, so now he gets what he want... devote all the love to the kids, and she will get what she want... a man who has no kids.
so the story will have a happy ending... great.
Hardly a happy ending, if she's planning on taking half of his assets. For what? For him giving her a free ride to the land of the big PX? oops military slang
America.She KNEW he had children, she KNEW he was divorced. Sorry, but being jealous of the money he spends on his children is stupid and selfish. Even if this isn't "fraud" she rushed into a marriage while deluding herself into believing real life issues would magically vanish. Too many people on both sides of the pond fall in love with fairy tales, then let the chips fall where they may afterwards. Some get lucky, some get burned... bad.
Either way, now she's going to take him to the cleaners? If all she wants is "simple life" "man who loves her" fine... goody... good luck... where does taking half of this poor guy's assets factor in to that. Just a final "Screw You!" for her jealousy over his children?
No way. One can live the simple life in China too. Ship her off. Adios, bon voyage etc. etc.
Just my lil' ol' opinion
our real lives, not expected
in General Visa Discussion & First Steps
Posted
Of course - when they're adults it's a different story