Mick

Credzba, I didn't mean to give the impression that I think this relationship, as it presently stands, should continue. All I meant to say was that I hope that Bob can get sober eventually. That, and his legal problems, is his No. 1 priority. He has no business, at least right now, trying to establish a relationship with this lady. It is not in her best interest nor in his best interest. For some reason I thought this was a fiance, not a wife. The fact that they are already married tends to make the situation more complicated. I think, at least from the lady's perspective, this is a lose/lose proposition. You spelled it out pretty clearly I think - divorce equals lost of face, continued distance from her sister, and decreased chances of finding a husband in China. If they somehow get the visa, she is going into a situation filled with difficulties and marked for disaster it seems. NuWorld, you know the situation better than I do. Do you really think this is a legitimate relationship and worth continued involvement?

Thanks for the clarification. I don't know why I thought it was a K1 - must be gettin' senile - Will surely keep Bob in our thoughts and prayers. It is like so many have already said, he has to truly want to get better and he can, indeed, do so with the help of others. If he is an alcoholic ( and four DUIs sure screams loudly that he is), then abstinence from the sauce is the basis of recovery, but it isn't anywhere near the whole enchilada. There is a world of difference between being "dry" and being "sober." Most often, a dry drunk is harder to live with than an active drinker. Sobriety involves some major life changes, starting with the way a person thinks. It is going to take time and he is going to need a lot of support. If the judge puts him in the slammer, that might keep him dry for awhile, but it won't do much in terms of getting him sober. I would rather see the judge MANDATE treatment, followed by at least two years of aftercare and active involvement in AA. Personally, I think that would better address his needs. Just my two cents.....

I have seen it work both ways over the years. With some, the communication issue never comes up, even though neither party speaks the other's native language. On the other hand, you have situations like Carl's, where they ask for a video tape of the petitioner speaking five minutes in Chinese. I think it just may be luck of the draw in terms of who you get as a visa officer. A point of clarification: is this the same fellow we were talking about in the other thread? The one with the recent DUI? If so, are they already married? For some reason, I thought he was going to apply for a K1.

So glad to hear of your successful outcome. Diligence and patience do have their rewards. Also appreciate the update. Best wishes on a great future together.

Those are some really powerful images. This was an insane time in Chinese history and the families of many of our wives suffered greatly.

He looks good for 68, but she looks even better! The more I look at him I think he, like Spock, is at least half Vulcan.

I am not sure if that question was intended for me or not. If it was, I would not be the one to ask. We had our successful interview on August 20, 2002. Because of new rules and what we here at Candle call the "Black Hole," we did not receive the visa until March 10, 2003. Obviously, things are much better now. It was the infamous Black Hole that led to the birth of Candle, way back in November, 2002.

Let's give 'em a hand ....er....a round of applause that is.

You said it so well, tsapper. And yes, there are more than a few of us buddies of Bill W. on this here board. I gots a coin I been carryin' in my pocket for years.....

Well I'll be dipped in dog doo - you gots a point thar credzber - from the shape of that cucumber, it must be fer wimmin folk - that is- ifin' they makes uh blow up variety. Or worse, ifin' they a'int fer wimmin folk, and they is shaped like that thar sea cucumber, lordy - then they might be fer -

After seein' that pitcher - I'm mighty glad they don't make an inflatable model. Seriously, they used to eat a lot of these critters down in the Chao Shan region of Guangdong where we lived. Sometimes referred to as "sea worm," I once was fed one without knowing what it was. It sure doesn't look much like a cucumber to me....

Tsapper, them thar black chikkens can usually be had at most Chinese food stores. Chinese women folk swear by them black hens fer all kinds of female problems. Li et a few of 'em rite after she give birf to our little pride n joy name Saliner. She et a few more afterin' she had that thar historectolotomy and she even fed me one after I had the snip snip done on the old trouser snake. I'll bet one of them thar Chinese wimmin you tawked about that wuz so cold to Wenyan might nose whar you kin git uh black chikken. As fer a sea cucumber, that sounds a mite nasty to me. I'm a wonderin' ifin' it's a plant or some kind uh shell feesh likes uh krab or uh snail - I checked my catalogue of blow up sea creatures, and they a'int got no sea cucumber in thar - and in my book, ifin' you cain't make a likeness of it into an inflatable sex toy, well then, it must not be much good fer anythaing anywaze.....

I am reluctant to raise this issue, but I think it needs to be considered. Is he by any chance a "mean" drunk? Does he get beligerent when he has been drinking? Profound personality changes, etc? The reason I ask is that your wife's sister could wind up in an abusive situation should that be the case. Again, I am not trying to insinuate that he is an abuser. I just think the question needs to be asked for the sake of your wife's sister. My hope and prayer is that whatever the case, this guy can get the help he needs and get sober. Life with an active alcoholic is hell....

Randy, what are the causes for the village being partially abandoned? Have people left and moved to the city? I have often wondered how, in rural areas in some of the lesser developed Provinces, people support themselves other than agriculture. Also, if the village is partially abandoned, why are they undertaking new construction? Sorry for asking so many questions, but these kind of things interest me.

For me, the worse part of beginning to play after a lengthy layoff is getting the fingertips toughened up. Ouch and then some.....

Will do, Carl.

Update: Li received her notification of oath ceremony letter today. She will take part in a ceremony in Knoxville, which on a good day we can reach in under four hours. Most times, it is right at the four hour mark. At least it ain't Greenville, South Carolina. The ceremony will take place on August 23, so they gave us a little over three weeks notice. After this, no more USCIS. You can't imagine how thrilled we are about that.

Congrats on a successful interview and best wishes for a great future together. I never had the pleasure of visiting what you describe as the "old Consulate." Back when we had our interview (August, 2002) the Consulate was still out on Shamian Island. I always like visiting there as it was a nice area to walk around in. Hotels were nearby and if you really wanted to splurge, you could stay at the White Swan. We usually opted for the Victory Hotel instead, which had two locations on the island. Some of you old, old timers will remember Shamian I'm sure.

It has been such a great experience to follow this project from start to finish. I learned a lot as I watched the guitar slowly take shape. Thanks so much for sharing this with us, Carl.

Welcome to Candle and to the K1 process. I think you will find this community to be a great source of information and positive emotional support. Like Dan, I also wondered about the decision not to pursue a spousal visa. Also, I don't think the K1 is any safer, if by that you mean it is less likely to be rejected. Also, with K1 you will have to do AOS, whereas with the spousal visa she would get the green card upon arrival in the States. Whatever the case, hope all goes well with your case and that it is handled in a positive and timely manner.

This should prove interesting as the process unfolds. I wonder, for example, about a fiance visa originating from a state that does not recognize same sex marriage. Will the visa officer, in the interview, raise this issue by asking "Where and how do you plan to get married?" And wouldn't most of the visas be K1 as China, as far as I know, doesn't permit same sex marriage? Like I said, it should be interesting to see how the Consulate deals with this.

Sure is great to hear from you, Kim. Been wonderin' how you be doin'! Yep, me and tsapper wuz a wonderin' about that thar orange and black cosplay -

Tsap, the more I look at that thar pitcher, I thaink you may be rite - at air girl may not be all she is -uh- cracked up to be, so's to speak. If'n that's the case, it reminds me so much of this: http://youtu.be/n5Jzdkgj-XI The link could not be embedded because there is no video at that URL. You jes never nose - you jes never nose....

Well at least after all this you will finally have the USCIS monkey off your backs. Indeed we will, Dan - and what a blessing that will be. Even now, it's all over but the shoutin' - er - the oath taking I mean.

I can only dream of such a blessing, Carl. Portland sounds like a little bit of Heaven as far as USCIS issues are concerned. Tennerbama, however, is more like Purgatory.