philb

I was fairly conservative in toasting with family. My fiance was happy to see my retraint not wanting a drunkard as a potential husband. However, at least one "lead off" down the hatch certainly broke the ice! Great post. So many nuances. After reading all the do's and don'ts; I realize now how patient my Fiance is with the "American". On the other hand, I think that the family is trying to loosen up a little. The first kiss on Mama's cheek brought a little surprise; but after that, I think she looked forward to it. Of course, in the house only; not in public. I got a kick out of the gifts I brought. Everyone appeared very happy with their gift; but I noticed that some had been exchanged "behind the scenes" to make evryone even happier. Works for me! Phil & Yun

Ahhhhhh, Bus trips. One day we are both standing and one seat comes open. I am directed to sit down. I explain to my SO that in America, the women is offered the seat first. Her reply, "You are in China, sit down please, before I lose face". Lesson learned. Second incident was over a seat that my niece and another man got into. This jerk really lit into my niece and took the seat. Another lady suggested that he was rude. He lit into her. Everyone was watching me. I'm a foot taller and about 120 # on this jerk. I just let him vent, stared him down and hugged my niece. When he got off the bus you could feel the tension leave. You could tell that everyone hated this jerk. In America they would have been flipping him off as he got off. My SO thanked me for not making the situation worse; knowing that I could have mopped the floor of the bus up with this crud. By showing reserve in a situation that I physically could have easily commanded, I received much face. ...and probably steered clear of a Chinese jail for assault! Phil & Yun

My SO has a best friend married to an expat. Wierd, but they all want specific brands of deoderant; good coffee beans, Marlboro cigarettes and NBA jersies (probably made in China). I'll also be returning with some maple syrup for pancakes and French toast...couldn't find any in NanNing last trip. My backpack is getting stranger every trip. Phil & Yun

NOONEUFO: You deserve it! I heard it echoed from the GREAT GUZ!!!! Phil & Yun

Yun suggested in 7 years...I think earlier will find both of us in China. What's good for the goose may be just out of sight for the gander! Phil & Yun

David: I have found a similar experience as others have hinted. Not only my SO, but many friends of hers are ready to marry on the spot. I have taken 2 visits before deciding to become engaged....I am considered a "turtle". When I visit, I am constantly asked if I know any eligle men. Which brings me to my question: When my SO's friends express an interest in an American man, I ask them many questions trying to get a profile. Invariably, they desire an older man. Ten to fifteen years older does not even phase them. They try and explain their desire for a "reliable" man. However, may a significant age gap raise a flag to the interviewing VO? Say 20 year spread or more cause a little closer inspection? Phil & Yun

Anyone contemplating if the dollar soon gets devalued to the Yuan by the Chinese government? Would you rather hold dollars or Yuan? Phil & Yun

Boba: I'm in the same boat...little english on my SO's side and little mandarin on my side. My SO is taking english lessons, however, I'm sure that a tough VO would shake her in a hurry. I have purchased a computer for my SO that translates back and forth...still electronic. How much mandarin do you speak and how did you pick it up? How long was the VHS tape? What did you talk about? Phil & Yun

Welcome Don: Phone logs don't hurt. there are several good cards out there. I use onesuite.com and I am very satisfied. Also dated pictures of you together with your SO....and with family members does not hurt either. Mostly you are going to have to become very patient; if that is possible. Cheetos, Phil & Yun

I am 55 and Yun is 41. This came up very early in our relationship. Now she reminds me that she makes me feel like I am 25 and then wants to make sure that I think she is 23....LOL OK, the one serious thing discussed was the fact that I will most likely die before her and that I must maintain life insurance etc. for her to be taken care of if I pass first. Other than that, things are fine. Both families accept the fact that she is younger. Many women seem to gravitate to an older man for many reasons. Yun nicknamed me "Kaoshan" = reliable man. I think that reliability, remaining faithful and general stability are traits high on the checklist. Phil & Yun

I IM'ed my SO and asked her if I had previously disclosed my pets in America. I explained that I had two dogs...one big and one small; only the big one liked to sleep on the bed. However be careful! The little dog bites! Like the parrot. But the parrot only bites when he is cranky in the morning when he is waking up at sunrise and is hungry and squawking. I warned her about the snake (under the bed), when he gets hungry he tries to eat the parrot unlike the fish who eats guppies. The Pirhuana doesn't like parrots. The good news is that I keep the pot bellied pig outside - even though he likes to sneak up on the bed when no one is looking... Her response.......GO ON She likes the entertainment and truly enjoys humor!!! Phil

China Southern code shares with Delta. Flies B-777 out of LAX to GUZ non-stop. Just depends what time of year. I always seem to go at "high season". Phil & Yun

Congratulations: However, you do not have to make it sound like you are leaving us. the journey is just beginning. Keep us informed! I, for one , would like to know how it progresses...things like, -what weight mop you bought before she arrived and was it acceptable? Enjoy, Phil & Yun

Carl,Don,Trigg: My Mother used to say,"and there in the grace of God go I". I think that at some time in your life you have to have been down to appreciate a hand when it is offered. Some people just have never been there...it's obvious. Phil & Yun

welcome to CFL...nai xin...nai xin = patience Cheetos...the only answer. There is something in them that prepares you for the MOP! Just make sure that you spell better than Trigg and - if in doubt, ASK...most likely someone here has already experienced your question and a handful of old timers can come to the rescue. Patient Phil & Wonderful Yun

So your 100# wife gets on 25 pounds over baggage and I (weighing in at a svelt 230# carry on only 99 pounds of baggage and OFF WE GO INTO THE WILD BLUE YONDER....weight and balance is perfect!!! Go figure! Phil & Yun

Start cleaning, Phil & Yun

Ed & Mark: Find guys with like timelines and hope that all is moving smoothly for all of us! Webcam...however, bathroom stuff is out... I happened upon a "traditional" women...oh well. Save that money for trips to China...every 4-5 months is my limit. This next trip I am bringing my two children (18 & 17) with me to meet the family and experience this wildly different country and it's people. I also figure that group photos with BOTH families together can't hurt at the interview. Possibly we will all be in GuangZhou together and bring home early Christmas presents. Phil & Yun

I took an old camera with me for this pupose...it was supposed to imprint the date on the negative...MURPHY STRIKES AGAIN!...no date appears on the negatives no matter how many buttons we push. So we searched out a reader board with the tiime and date in red lights ( like the ones in many bank branches) and had someone click off a couple shots. We'll do the same on my next trip...and will have some in Winter and some in Summer. These will be on the top of the stack....and I do plan on bringing a stack to the interview! I also plan on bringing the Elephant gun! Phil & Yun

Carl: Check is on it's way. Phil

That is great news...and a great turn around. I missed the donation timing. Carl or Trigg let me know if it is not too late. Sometimes it is a long trail until the first full paycheck comes in. Welcome back Trigg - are those mountain sheep resting better now? -"I wish they all could be California girls" Phil

Carl: I'm in...just let me know how and where Phil

Some of the old timers will relate that money given to the Mother-in Law with a face value ending in"8" will bring good luck and the family in many ways will "repay" the gesture(Trigg either some input here or acknowledgement of how old you are!). Funny, I took over some good scotch whiskey and it really didn't excite anyone...alcohol didn't seem to be high on their list. On the other hand there is a lot of interest in the NBA; so the Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady jerseys went over huge. I think that the gesture is much more important than trying to overwhelm the family with "rich American" type expenditures. Most important is that you are going to cherish and protect their daughter. Phil & Yun

What? Is the Black Pearl ruining her track record...."reality" overlooking her shoulder? Congratulations, Phil & Yun

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHA!! Phil patience is a virtue seldom found in woman; never found in man.....my Mother.