A scary but real story

[JanyNH]

Hi, all the brothers and sisters at CFL. How are you doing? I wish everything is going well with eveybody. This is Jany who survive here with your help. I want to let you know my daughter and I are doing well. We have moved out of the shelter and have our own apartment. My daughter is going to school and is happy with her friends. I work hard to make a new life for us. I usually work 2 jobs sometimes 3 jobs. Our life is getting better and better. Thank you very much again for your help.

 

Our case is over and my husband will have to stay in the jail for 40 years. So I can tell you all about our story. This story is a long story, a scary story but a real one. It really happened to me in my life.

 

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When I was running my nightschool, I noticed some students were adult women without any kids in my school. Usually some mothers came with their kids. So I was so curious about them and was wondering who they were and why they were learning English so hard. I tried to talk to some of them and found out that all of them were correspondencing with some foreign men on internet and some of them were in the process of getting their visa for moving out of China to marry the men they met on internet. At that time, I didn't believe people could find their love from internet because it is too hard to get to know each other. But after they moved out of China, they sent me e-mails and told me they had the greatest men in the world to spend the rest of their life with and they said a lot of nice words about their new husbands and also sent me some pictures of them showing how happy they were. By then I believed what had happened was true and I believed that some people could find happiness on internet. I started internet love searching when I got the address of the dating websites. I got a lot of e-mails from USA, Canada, Australia, Ice Island, Sweden. I told all of those men that I have a 2 years old daughter. Most of them stopped talking to me. Only 3 of them kept sending e-mails to me. One of the 3 was my American husband and he was the only one who accepted my 2 years old daughter ( Cindy was only 2 years old at that time ) without hesitating. The other two hesitated for a while and had stopped talking to me for about one week. So I picked my husband and kept talking to him and tried to get to know him better. We called each other and talked via e-mails and telephones. He was not the most wealthy one with good financial situation and good carrer but he sounded so kind, caring, understanding,romantic and emotional normal. And later on we talked about marriage. I suggested him to visit me in China when he proposaled. I wanted to see if he was really serious and also wanted to see if he was as good as he sounded. He went to China to visit me. He was so nice to me and to Cindy when he was in China. I talke softly and he was very polite. He didn't smoke, didn't drink. He was clean and neat. He was so kind and patient to Cindy. He carried her wherever we went and read her bed stories every single night and held her hand all the time. He met with some of my family and my friends there. My family and my friends all said he was a nice man that I should not miss. So I agreed with him to marry him and move to the USA. Actually I had tried to discuss with him about the place where we were going to live because at that time I was doing pretty good with my business and made good money there. I made about 32,000 Yuan Chinese money( after tax ) per month. It was about 4,000 US dollars. I knew I wonld not be able to make that much money in the USA if I marry him and stay home as a housewife or work part time. I tried to persuade him to live in China for a couple of years first and then we could move to the USA later. But he said he could not do that because his 93 years old mother was living with him and needed him to take care of. In Chinese culture, children usually take care of their old parents when the parents get old and need help. So I understood. And he also said he made more than 3,000 US dollars after tax and that was enough to support the family. So I agreed with him again about relocating and moving to the USA to live with him.

 

While I was waiting for my visa, I felt so happy because I thought I got the real love and got a real good man although he was not handsome and not wealthy either.

 

I got my visa in March 2004. It came quicker than I expected. So I tried to delay my trip to the USA and wanted to fly over here after 5 months because I needed time to finish something that I had to finish before I moved out of China but my husband complained. So I started for the USA for the new life. I gave up my career, my business, my money for coming here to marry the man that I thought he was" a real good man ", and a man who had promised he would love to take good care of me and my daughter , and also promised he would help me to adjust to this new country and would love to work hard with me to make our marriage a success.

 

I got to Boston Logan Airport at 6:30 in the morning. That was a cold morning in March 2004. I had been standing outside waiting for my husband till 9:30am and believed that that man who said he would come to pick me up was not there. So I decided to take a taxi for his place. I paid $160 US dollars for the transportation plus $40 dollars tips for the taxi to bring us to New Hampshire.

 

When I walked into that house, I hesitated because there was a big mess in the house. That was not really a place I would like to live in. But when thinking about my husband was so nice to me when I was in China and that he had promised me he would love me and love Cindy and would give us a happy family life, I walked in and unloaded my luggage. I thought the Place is not that important, the Person is more important.

 

Everything went well at the beginning. We got married in 1 month. When we had our marriage registered, I found that my husband's age is much older than the age he wrote at his profile at the website and his education level is High School, not like what he wrote in his profile " Bachelor's Degree ". I was a little bit upset because he was not honest. I don't like arguing or fighting. So I had a talk with him and asked him to explain why what I saw on his divorce paper was not the same as what he had told me. He ignored me. I was wondering if he had anything else hiding behind me but I could not get the answer because he avoided that subject when I tried to bring it up. We could not talk about that. I was so patient to wait and wish someday we could talk about everything and he would tell me everything true when he was ready.

 

After I moved to his house, I did all of the housework like cooking, cleaning, organizing, laundry, gardening. His house was really messy. There were a lot of plastic boxes in the hall way, near the door, And there was no any space for my foot in the computer room. I spent about two weeks working very hard to organize and clean the house and it looked much better after I worked. The sink in the kitchen was so nasty. It seems that is had not been washed for harf a year. I tried all of my best to make that home a clean home. After my hard work, the house and the kitchen looked much much brigter and better. And I also planted a large garden of vegetables like green beans, pumpkins, squashes, zukkenis, cucumbers, different colour tomatoes, different shapes and colors of pepers, beets corns, strawberries, radishes, The vegetables I planted were more than enough for us to eat. I did whatever my husband wanted me to do like unloading the heavy concrete blocks and built the retaining wall with him and cut the wood with him and built the deck with him at our backyard. I tried all my best to be a good wife and a good housewife.

 

His mother is a very mean old woman and not friendly to Cindy and me. She yelled at Cindy and me whenevery she was not feeling comfortable and didn't allow Cindy and I watching TV in the living room. We argued and fought because I felt being abused and hurt. I asked for divorce and wanted to move back to China. But my husband tried to protect us when his mother yelled and and persuaded me to stay and said he really loved me and loved Cindy and didn't want me to leave. And he even tried to send his mother to his sister's home but his sister refused to take care of his mother. And he tried to send his mother to a nursing home but his mother didn't want to go and said that house was her house. I was so confused. My husband had told me that he owned the house. How come what his mother said was different. I wanted my husband explained. He said that was hid house. He put the house under his mother's name just because he wanted to pay less property tax. So I suggested we move out to live, stay away from his mean mother. He said he could not afford to pay for the rent if we live out. And he also said his monthly income was $1.100 dollars after tax. My God! I was wondering how many more false things he still had ? The age was not true, The house was not true. The income was not true. Anyting else? He said no more. I said OK. since your income is not enough to support the family. I will go out to work. But he didn't allow and said my oral English is not good enough to work. I said OK. I will go to a local language program setting for new immigration to learn more English. That's a free program and my husband didn't have to pay a penny. He said not OK. I was so confused but I could do nothing because we lived in the countryside and there is no public transportation there. I was like staying in the jail and being controled when I didn't have the driver's license and could not drive. So I told my husband that I needed a driver's license and I wanted to drive. He said OK if you could pass the driver's license examination. He gave me a driver's license manual and wanted me to finish if in two weeks. I worked very hard on the book and told him and I was realy for the examination by the end of the 2nd week. But he didn't take me for the examintaion and told me he was busy, too busy to take me for the examination. I kept trying to talk to him about the examination but he gave me a lot of excuses like it was raining or windy or snowing and he felt sick etc. I know he didn't want me to drive but I didn't understand why. Later on I registered in a medical asistant training program and wanted to learn some skills for working. But that program was canceled by my husband and he said I could not get the driver's license because I didn't have the green card. And he didn't want to give me rides to school and pick me up from the school. I said, OK, please try to get me the green card. Do you know what he said? He said I didn't need the green card because I didn't have to work. I could stay at home forever and I didn't need the green card till I die. I told him I didn't want to stay here illegally. He said no problem. There were 8 million illegal immigration in the USA. I could stay in the USA just like those people. I was confused again. My husband was so stange and what he was doing was so different from what he had promised before. One day I tried to get a job from internet, teaching Chinese in a local Chinese school. When I told him and wanted him to give me a ride for the interview. He was not happy but still gave me the ride. The boss said they were going to hire me and I was so happy because that was my first job in the USA. My husband promised that boss he would give me a ride for work every Saturday morning. But when we got home, he yelled at me and wanted me to call my boss and tell her that I was not going to take that job. I stared at him and said: NO! Unless you can explain why!

 

My husband acted very strange after we got married.

 

After we got married, he was not interested in sex any more. He stayed up late at night till 3:00am or 4:00am at midnight. I thought he might have too much work to do. So I tried to stay up late too to wait for him. But he said he didn't feel well and didn't feel like to have sex. Hey, we were new married and I am much younger than him. But my husband didn't want sex. So why did he want to marry me and brought me from far China? I didn't understand. I had once talked to a girl friend of mine on internet when we chat on line. She said I might have high sex drive and wanted a lot and not satisfied with my husband. I said no. Then I told her that we had not have sex for a couple of months. I was wondering if I was not beautiful enough or not attractive enough. She said it might not be the reason. She said the reason might be my husband's age. I thought that could be the reason why because my husband is much older than me and he needs the pills for having sex. So I didn't give him stress about sex.

 

I stayed home doing all the housework like a stay home housewife. But I was looking forward to going to school to learn more English. There was an English as a Second Language Program providing for new immigration where I can learn English for free. But my husband didn't allow me to go. He had promised me that he would like me to go to school to learn more English for the future job and he would like to help me to adjust to the new life in this new country before. How come he broke his promise? I asked him Why? He ignored me.

 

He didn't allow Cindy to go to the preschool. He said that cost a lot of money and he didn't have that money to pay. I said," OK, I will pay. I will go to work and make money to pay for Cindy's preschool." Then I tried to get a lot of telephone number of the local Chinese restaurants and started calling, trying to get a job. He stopped me and promised he would send Cindy to a preschool.

 

I still stayed home, having the bored housewife's life. Time flies. The life there was not good but peaceful till September 2004. One day in Sepptember, I occasionally found that my husband's hand was on Cindy's Panties and Cindy's skirt was up to her waist while they played in the bedroom. I could not believe my eyes and hoped that was not true. I found something wrong but was not sure if they were playing or if my husband intended to take off Cindy's panties. What was he going to do? He even was not able to have sex with me without the pills. What can he do to Cindy? I did hope what I saw was not true. But since then, I didn't allow Cindy stay out of my sight and always put her under my supervising and watch her all the time. I was nervous and could not sleep well at night. Because I was not sure about what I saw and didn't know what to do. I wanted to protect my daughter and didn't want anything bad happened to her and didn't want to misunderstood my husband because I appreciated him had brought us to the USA, the best country in the world. If he didn't intend to hurt Cindy and what I saw was just because they were playing too wild, my misunderstanding might hurt my husband. I was confused and nervous and didn't know what to do. I tried to get some telephone numbers of some Chinese organizations in Boston and called them. A Chinese woman from Hong Kong talked to me on the phone and she said if I was sure my husband intend to hurt me or hurt my daughter, I can call her again and she would help me. I felt better.

 

After we got married, I found that my husband didn't have any friends to visit and nobody came to visit him and no any calls from his friends or from his children. He had never wanted to go to the church with me and didn't want me to go to the church. And he even didn't walk into the supermarket with me when we went grocery shopping. He just dropped me off at the entrance of the supermarket and then said he would come to pick me up in 40 or 45 minutes. So I didn't have the time to browse the stuff in the supermarket. I just went in to pick what we need on our shopping list and then came out. And he didn't bring us to any restaurant for dinner. He sometimes order some pizza for pick up but never want to eat out. It seemed he didn't want people to see me with him. I didn't understand why. I was not too old nor too ugly. I could not get the answers.

 

He got mad at me and yelled at me whenever I mentioned about his children. At the beginning when we got married, I was wondering if we should call his children to let them know that we were married and invited the kids coming back home for a visit. He was so mad and yelled at me loudly. A couple of days before Father's Day, his mother said she was going to buy something for him for the Father's Day. I asked if he got any present from his children for the Father's Day. He was so mad and yelled at me loudly again. I didn't understand why. I thought even if the American children are too indepent and don't want to keep in touch with their parents, he was not supposed to yell at me like that.

 

He tried to take my money away. I put part of my money to buy a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom home in China before I came to the USA and put part of my money into the bank. Because I thought I would have a secure life with my new husband in the USA and he would help me to learn more English and more skills and help me to get a part time job and then a full time job. That was what he promised me in his e-mails. So I brought only $1,000 US dollars with me just in case I might have some expense on the way to the USA. After we got married, he borrowed me the money gradually when we went out shopping and promised he would return me the money after we got home. Believe or not, the TV sitting in the living room that his mother didn't allow me and Cindy to watch was from my pocket. But he had never returned me any penny when we got home. After a couple of times , I refused to give him any money. I don't like people can not pratice their promise. I like honest people who don't promise anything that they are not going to do or that they are not able to do. I was upset because my husband didn't keep his pormise. I don't think a liar can be a good quality person but unfortunately we were married already.

 

One day in December, I found out again my husband did the exact same thing that I had seen before. I knew that I didn't misunderstand him. He really intend to hurt my daughter. I cried loudly and didn't eat the supper that night and called my brother in China and told him what had happened. I asked him to mail me some money for the airplane ticket and told my husband I wanted a divorce paper and I would go back to China. He still said No Way. And I thought I just go back to China even without the divorce paper. My brother called me and asked if I had a bank account number to give him, so he could send me the money via bank. I said No. And then he said if I had an American ID number that he could send me the money by Western Union, a money transfer service. I said No. Suddenly I found myself under his control. I could not get out of that place even if I wanted to give up the divorce paper that I had been trying to have. That means I was giving up the opportunity to come back to the USA in the future.

 

I turned to the Chinse organization for help to see if I could borrow some money for the airplane ticket. I will never forget what had happend in that morning. I dared not make the telephone call at home because of the safety reason. I tried to borrow a neighbour's telehone to call that Chinese woman. I was walking up and down the road to see if anybody home. No body near my home was home. All the door was shut. I kept walking farther. I found a car parking on the driveway in front of a house. I went up and knocked at the door. When the neighbour came out, I told him I had something emergency and needed to borrow his telephone. He was so nice to let me in and let me use his telephone. While I talked to the Chinese lady, my tears was falling down my face and at last I could not help myslef crying loudly. My neighbour didn't understand Chinese that I was speaking but he understoold my tears and knew something had happened.

 

After hearing about what had happened, that Chinese woman said I should called the police because that was a crime. I was not sure if the police would trust me or not. So I hesitated. She said if what I had told her was true, the police would find out and encouraged me to call the police. I told her I didn't know the police telephone number. She told me that was 911. I told her my English was not good enough to tell the police what had happened in English. She talked to my neoughbour and told him what had happened. My neoghbour called the police.

 

Because when I went to my neighbour to borrow the telephone, I didn't want to call the police because I was not sure if the police would trust me. I just wanted to get some help from the Chinese organization to get out of my husband's place to go back to China. So I didn't have my passport and Cindy's passport and any necessary stuff like clothes, documents with me when the police sent us to the domestic violence shelter. I had only $35 dollars in my pocket. And the police said I was not allowed to go back to get my documents and my money in case my husband escape. It was really a difficult start with only $35 dollars.

 

When I went grocery shopping with the staff of the shelter, I found out the price of the wine and the cigarette. I also found out that my husband's bad smoking and drinking habbits costs almost all of his income every month. So why did he marry me and why didn't he allow me to work? If he married a foreign woman for making the new wife to work to make money to support the family and share the expense. I understand. But his income absolutely not enough to support the family but he did't allow me to work. Where did he get the money to support the family? I had been living with him for more than half a year and did not see him doing any profitable business. So how long can he support me? If he can not support me too long time, what would he do?

 

A terrible word came out to my mind: Life Insurance Compensation. I asked the people in the shelter if my husband could buy my life insurance on line without me knowing it if he wanted to. They said Yes if he had my SSI# and my signature. It scared me and made me thinking about something strange that had happened.

 

One day in the summer, I think that was after I saw my husband trying to take off Cindy's panties, my husband said he was going to bring me to pick up some blueberries. I asked for what. He said we need some blueberris for making some muffins and he said that was very expensive in the supermarket and the wild ones tasted much better. I said OK. He wanted me to wear my winter boots. I asked why. He said there were a lot of mosquitos there and if I wear the boots, the mosqitos would not bite me. He brought be to a large wetland. I had read a book about Chinese Red Army Walking the Long March. In that book, I read a lot of stories happened in the wetland and knew it was very dangerous. And I also had watched the moive about the wetland and knew what it look like. It looks normal just like a large piece of grass but actually the grass just grow on the top, Underneath, it was water with mud. Nobody can survive if he or she bogs into it. he wanted me to go first. I was scared and didn't want to go. I said," You go first, I will follow you." I followed him on his step, walking very carefully into the middle of the wetland. We picked up the wild fruits there for about ONE Minute and then I turned around and found my husband disappeared!! Oh, my God!! What happened? I called my husband again and again loudly but nobody answered. What should I do? I was so scared! But I tried to make myself calm down and tried to keep my mind clear and tried to find the way out. I looked around and tried to remind about the way we came in. I finally find a couple of grass still down and I found out the footmark or our stepmark over there and I got the way out slowly. I tried very very carefully to move out and ran to the highway, waving my hand with $10 dollars, trying to borrow somebody's cell phone to call police for help because I thought my husband might get in trouble and fainted away because of the hot weather. Only 2 cars passed by in 15 minutes but none of them stopped. I kept running up and down, kept trying. At this moment, I heard my husband calling me:" Jany, what are you doing? " I said," I am trying to stop a car and borrow a cell phone to call the policemen." He asked," Why are you going to call policemen? " I said, " I called you but you didn't answer me. I thought you might get in trouble. I need the policemen to find you out and help you. " He said, " I am OK, Please don't call policemen. Let's go." And then we left. At that time, I didn't realize that I was in danger. My husband tried to murder me. He didn't want me. He just wanted a little girl. That was all of his intention to marry me and also why he wanted me put Cindy's father's name blanked when we filed the documents for my visa. If he had bought my life insurance, he would get Cindy's custody and the money also if I die in accident. This is why he didn't allow me to go to school and didn't allow me to work. So nobody knows I was there and nobody knows I disappeared. And this is also why he didn't do anything to help me to get some necessary documents like my temporary green card and work permit and didn't bring me the see the doctor when I got sick. He didn't want to spend his money for me before I die. I feel so scared whenever I think about this. Now I am sure my husband was hiding somewhere to watch me and he wished I drown. Otherwise, when he tried to look for me, he should ask" Jany, where are you? " instead of " Jany, what are you doing? " See, he had been hiding and watching me. God!!

 

Cindy was sent to the hospital the next day after we were sent to the domestic violence shelter. The doctor didn't find anything wrong. The police was not sure if what I had told was true or not. They asked if I would like to call my husband and talk to him to see if he would admit what he had done. I knew I had to do that to let the policemen know I didn't lie. I told the police I would do anything the help the police to make that case clear and let them know I didn't lie. So I called my husband and talked to him under the recording by the policemen and the investigaters. God helped me and bless me. My husband admited everything about what he did and wanted me to go back home. I am sure he would try to murder me again if I went back home. The policemen arrested him the next day after the telephone recording because they had evidence showing that my husband really did what I said and I didn't lie.

 

My husband didn't admit the murder and the sexual abuse in the jail although he had admited the sexual abuse on the phone. He didn't know that the policemen and the investigaters were recording our conversation while he talked on the phone before he was arrested. But he knew he would get in big trouble if he admit the murder after he was arrested. The chief of the local police station said what had happened to me was really scary.

 

With the investigation, the investigaters found out my husband had been in the jail twice before. Both of the victims were little girls. One of the victms was his own daughter! Our case was the 3rd one! This is why he had no friends because he had spent more than 10 years in the jail and also why his children had never called him because they hate him. This is why he didn't want me to go to the church because he didn't want anybody know me and didn't want anybody tell me anything about his criminal history. This is why he had never walked with me in the public because he didn't want any neighbourhood know me and tell me he was a sexual offender. This is why he accepted my little daughter without hesitating because he wanted to have a little girl for abuse and this is why he did't want to have sex with me because he is not interested in any adult woman. He is not a normal man.

 

Actually he could have the chance to have a good life style with me if he could change. I knew nothing about his criminal history and really appreciate him bringing us to the USA although his finacial situation was not really good. I will be happy if Cindy could grow up in this wonderful country. So she would have a good life and easier life if she works hard when she grows up. She doesn't have to work hard and work smart for a good lifestyle. But in China, because of the competition, people who want a good lifestyle have to work smart and work hard at the same time for it. I wish my Cindy could make a good living more easily. Because of the appreciation, I accepted everything of my husband, like his bad habbits, his mean mother, his low income and I even tried to work to make money to support the family with him. And I took care all of the housework, gardening, mowing, and took good care of his old mother, wiping the shit and her pee on the floor, in the bed, washing all of her shit and pee sheets, blankets, clothes. That was the job that nobody want to do but I did it very well without complaining. Because I consider my husband's family my own family, my husband's mother my own mother and my husband's children my own children. I can say my husband himself ruined his own life. I feel lucky to get away from a dangerous man who has no a good intention to marry me. If a person doesn't love his spouse, anything bad could happen. I feel happy Cindy and I are safe right now. We are totally safe although I had a difficult start. At least I can sleep well at night without worrying about our safety and our future. The two nights before I called that Chinese lady I didn't sleep.I worried my husband might kill me and kill Cindy because I found out him twice doing that bad thing to my little daughter. I guess he didn't kill me just because he might think I would shut up my mouth because of the green card. He might think that I dare not call police even if I found out something wrong. Because too many people want the green card and don't mind to suffer a lot for getting the green card. To me the green card doesn't mean that much. My Cindy means much more than that. When I found out it was not a good place for my Cindy to grow up, I choosed leaving without the green card.

 

Two weeks after I stayed in the shelter, a staff who was working in the shelter asked me if I would like to have the green card. She said if I wanted to go back to China, the American government would buy me two airplane tickets and Cindy and I could go back to China after the case finished. But if I wanted the green card, the American government would pay for an immigration lawyer to work on my green card. I had never thought that I could get my green card without my husband's signature. I didn't know what to answer. Everybody said the USA is a wonderful country. But I noticed some people here don't have a good life in this wonderful country. Some people can not afford to see a doctor when they get sick. Some people don't know how to use a computer and can not afford to use a car even a cell phone. It might not be easy for everybody to make a good living here especially for a new immigration who has to start everything from the very beginning. I hesitated and didn't give the answer right away. I needed time to think about that seriously.

 

Some women living in the shelter said:" Hey. Silly girl, choose the green card. This is really a wonderful country. So many people come to this country from all over the world even if some of them can not have the green card. Now you have the choice the get the green card. why don't you take it? " I knew they were right and understood what they said. In China, some people have to pay 450,000 Yuan Chinese money ( it is more than $80,000 US dollars for coming here ). It was really easy to go back to China, just go take the ticket and fly back to China. But it is really hard to come back to the USA again. It is very difficult for Chinese people with the Chinese passports to get the visa to travel to some countries even if you put more than 250,000 Yuan Chinese money ( it is about 30,000 US dollars ) as a security deposit to guarantee you will return back to China after the trip. So having the green card means a lot. At least it means you might have the citizenship someday and you can feel free to travel all over the world if you can afford. So I choosed the green card and stay here because I thought since I was able to make a good living in China where there were more competition, I might be able to do it again here. I wanted to have a try since I have the chance to try. No matter I could be successful or not, it is an experience at least.

 

Now you see, I didn't use the marriage although I came from a foreign country. People think some foreign women use their marriages for coming here to get the green cards and then divorce their American husbands after they get the green cards. That happens sometimes. But I didn't do it because I didn't have to. I think If you can work hard and work smart, you can have good life in anywhere. I like family life and like being loved. I came here just because a man told me he loved me so much and had described me a wonderful family life. Another reason why I came here was that I was really curious about this country and wanted to see how wonderful it is. I came here because I was silly. But I had never wanted to use the marriage for getting the green card. If I could have met a good man, my life must not be like this. My husband used me and used the marriage for having a little girl. The police told me it was impossible for my husband to adopt a little girl because of his criminal history and it also impossible for him to marry a local American woman with a little girl because the people here might find his criminal history from the website before getting married. So the only way he could get a little girl was to marry a foreign woman with a little girl. I was in the scam and was in a dangerous marriage in which I might die in an accident someday. Who knows.

 

To be honest, I want to settle down and I want to love and to be loved. That's a wonderful feeling and I think family life is a wonderful lifestyle in my eyes. Both of the couple work hard and do their own things during the daytime and the kids go to school during the daytime. In the evening or at night or at weekend when they don't have to work or go to school, they can enjoy the peaceful family life, good conversation, some nice movie and nice music, good food, gardening, traveling, doing something together like playing balls, going bicycle riding, and enjoying the clean and enjoyable sex when they are together, thinking about each other when they are apart. This is the ideal life style I really want. I don't want too much money. I think enough money for what we need is enough and if we work, we can have what we need. But if we could have more than enough money, it sure will be more wonderful. I can enjoy a very wonderful lifestyle if the money means but also can have simple lifestyle and feel happy too if I can have a good quality man to live with. I was not lucky to have got a really bad man to be my husband. I made a big mistake that I can not forgive myself. But I believe there are a lot of nice American men out there. I might get remarried someday and I still want an American husband. But next time, I will spend more time to get to know the man very well to make sure if he is a really kind and normal and trustworthy man before I step into marriage.

 

I was not lucky because I had to go through all of these that nobody want to go through. But I am lucky to so many kind American friends' help and survive here. I will work harder to make my life better and give my daughter a warm home with love. So she will grow up here happily. I want to say Thank You Very Much for your kindness and love. I love you all too.

[Randy W]

I'm sure this thread will get a lot of reads!

 

You have our attention!

[Dennis143]

Thank you, Jany. I am certain that the relief you are feeling today is shared by all of us here. I hope that you and your lovely daughter can now look forward to a wonderful future here in America. It is wonderful to hear from you.

 

Dennis and Leiqin

 

 

I just want to add, that your spirit, drive and determination, love for your daughter and being able to survive through difficult hardships exemplify the qualities that most of us American men seek in having a Chinese wife. I hope and pray that someday soon you and your daughter will find the good, kind and faithful husband and father that you both richly deserve. The man that finds you will be a very very lucky man.

Edited June 4, 2006 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[lou]

I'm sure this thread will get a lot of reads!

 

You have our attention!

221500[/snapback]

Yes, I'm sure this will get many many reads!

 

Glad everything is well and we wish you and your daughter the best and

a wonderful future here!!!

 

Please tell us more when you have the time, we will be waiting.

 

All the best, now and forever.

 

Lou and Guichun

[NewDay2006]

Jany, I rememebr the story. It was a horrible story to read. I hope that your daughter is fine and thriving in her new surrounding. Thanks for posting to let us know you are both ok.

Edited June 4, 2006 by NewDay2006 (see edit history)

[LeeFisher3]

Jany, it is wonderful to hear from a dear member of our family. I am happy everything is going well for you and your daughter.

 

I hope your sharing with us can help people learn so that this will never happen to another.

[MikeandRong]

May all your dreams come true for you and your daughter. We wish only the very best for you forever.

 

Mike and Rong

[A Mafan]

But next time, I will spend more time to get to know the man very well to make sure if he is a really kind and normal and trustworthy man before I step into marriage.

 

You'll be successful. You will find happiness and love. I'm glad that he didn't cripple your spirit and your hope.

[Trigg]

Jany, I really have no words that would help. I'm sure you will find the happy home that you so desire and whoever your husband will be, he will be a very fortunate man indeed!

 

Trigg

[ameriken]

Jie and I have both read your story, and my God, we can never imagine what you have been through. You have got the American spirit to never give up and to be able to pick up the pieces and move forward for yourself and your daughter. We both wish you a wonderful and happy future...Sunshine always follows the storm !

[ameriken]

What I dont understand is how in the hell did the USCIS approve his petition with a record of child abuse and jailtime? Can you take any legal action against the CIS for approving his petition?

[LeeFisher3]

What I dont understand is how in the hell did the USCIS approve his petition with a record of child abuse and jailtime? Can you take any legal action against the CIS for approving his petition?

221536[/snapback]

He's in jail now and Jany's situation was one of the reasons for the criminal background check required by the IMBRA, and for good reason. This should NEVER be allowed to happen again.

[Jali]

You really sound like a wonderful person. You deserve happiness, I hope you find it.

[DMikeS4321]

Jany,

 

Your story is touching, terrifying and heartwarming, all at the same time. The intelligence, courage and determination you display is nothing short of remarkable. You will find your loving husband someday, and he will be a very lucky man indeed.

 

You are in our prayers. Please keep us all posted on your future activities. Your story is an inspiration.

 

Very Best Wishes to you and your daughter!

[chef4u]

....I am simply horrified that this happened!! But, your courage and determination to succeed are virtues that are admired and envied by every decent American!! You are truly the burning candle that we all should follow. Thank you for being so brave in sharing this heart wrenching story. I believe that one day Jany, you will be with the man of your dreams. And make know mistake about it, he will be the luckiest man in the world to have someone like you and a wonderful daughter like Cindy.

Edited June 4, 2006 by chef4u (see edit history)